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Hey everyone,

I just made an account on here and I'm new to this forum. I'm really needing to talk about some of the things I'm going through, and I'm hoping this will be a good place. Pardon me if this topic is well covered.

I'll start with a little about me and my relationship. I married my wife about seven months ago and overall I am quite happy. My wife is ten years older than me (I'm in my early twenties) and I love her very much.

I have been coming across a pattern that I am recognizing in myself and I'm not sure what to do with it. The first several months of our relationship our sex life was great. Now, we are only intimate once to twice a week at most. I tend to get irritable after more than a few days without intimacy and try as I might I keep falling into this attitude. Taking "matters" into my own hands doesn't really help either, I feel like I'm craving this closeness with my wife rather than to just get off and at the same time, cuddling and snuggling leaves me aching in my 'ahem' nethers.

My wife (and I) are under a large amount of stress, she has a child from another relationship which she hasn't seen in months (we are in a custody case for her child) and on top of that she is in a criminal case for an altercation with her ex and an immigration case because of the criminal case both of which we are handling pro se. I am feeling really bad about this because I feel like my desire is out of control, and I am afraid of living a life where I am always craving more.

I guess what I'm really trying to figure out is how can I simmer down a bit? I don't want to put my wife in the position of having to put out or put up. I have talked to her about this a bit but I don't want her to feel bad about it by bringing it up every time I'm feeling this way. I'm just not sure what to do, this pattern keeps surfacing.

any advice would be much appreciated.

Thanks :)
 

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It is possible all the court cases are stressing out your wife.

How long did you guys date before you got married?

How was sex life prior to getting married?

How long had she been divorced from first husband?

What exactly is the deal with immigration and the criminal case?
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Sounds like an awful LOT going on there.. that could really stress someone out. Stress is a known Libido killer.. ..and for some.. having sex helps get through the stress, making it easier to face every day..... you & her could be opposites here..

MY Husband felt something LIKE THIS when we were going through infertility, then baby after baby after baby.. I was so excited about having these kids.. Not really thinking about it.. I put him on the back burner.. . he didn't talk to me.... he just tried to STUFF IT.... which caused him to grow some resentment towards me.. He is a very TOUCHY /FEELY type and he was also missing "affection" from me as well..

YOU are in your sexual Prime right now.. your wife isn't FEELING it as much as you, even if all these other things weren't going on, chances are your sex drive would still be craving more over her.. pretty typical situation really -until she gets to late 30's / early 40's.. then it's her PRIME ... you being 10 yrs younger.. this will be a good time for you both!

How you communicate your cravings to her.. is the question..... Women are generally moved by the emotional... this will help her be more receptive to your advances... always show affection & care outside the bedroom too.... If you open up to your suffering in this....it can be tricky , many will say it's a bad idea ...as she will only feel pressured by you... and see it as weakness... probably better to learn how to spice it up to where she will be more aroused by you... If you know what gets her in the mood.. and take every advantage...

Are you fulfilling her love languages?

Love Languages Personal Profile


 
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