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Men typically don't pick their spouses for their earning ability. Maybe we are the stupid ones.
I would never say that. I will only say that there are pros and cons to all of our decisions....and they have consequences.
That's sad that marriage is a financial decision instead of a holy union. If it's that shallow to some, they have no business marrying. It's just going to end in disaster. That's also why marriage rates are at all time lows, it's too easy to get screwed. And usually it's more than the couple themselves that pay for it. The collateral damage is awful.
 

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That's sad that marriage is a financial decision instead of a holy union. If it's that shallow to some, they have no business marrying. It's just going to end in disaster. That's also why marriage rates are at all time lows, it's too easy to get screwed. And usually it's more than the couple themselves that pay for it. The collateral damage is awful.
But marriage has for the better part of history been a financial decision. Only in recent history (the last couple of centuries) have we made marriages about "lurv".

And if I am being completely honest, as a woman who is lacking in the beauty department but makes up for it in every other way..... I don't see it as doom and gloom.
 

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I mean your word IN GENERAL, although that does include wedding vows. IF you never told your wife/husband that you wouldn't cheat, then I guess if you want to parse the hell out of it, you didn't break your word.



Seems like we are heading (VERY QUICKLY) to where people are just out for themselves these days and don't really care at all about anyone else.
Well it's not cheating if the spouse approves. But some would try to claim that such is still a violation of "forsake all others".

We also have the problem that what you might see as "out for themselves" may not jive with how others see it. Seems that every generation see later.ones as lazier, and more selfish and only out for themselves.

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That's sad that marriage is a financial decision instead of a holy union. If it's that shallow to some, they have no business marrying. It's just going to end in disaster. That's also why marriage rates are at all time lows, it's too easy to get screwed. And usually it's more than the couple themselves that pay for it. The collateral damage is awful.
The problem is that only legal marriage is tracked, not religious marriage. There are people entering into religious marriages either without the legal marriage or getting the legal one later when it becomes necessary or advantageous. Sad is expecting a civil institution to be held to the same level of reverence as a similar religious institution.

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Well it's not cheating if the spouse approves. But some would try to claim that such is still a violation of "forsake all others".

We also have the problem that what you might see as "out for themselves" may not jive with how others see it. Seems that every generation see later.ones as lazier, and more selfish and only out for themselves.

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Nope, what that guy in the article did is 100% selfish. He devastated his wife -- WHY -- because HE WANTED to be with another woman and wanted his wife to just sit there and be ok with it. HE WAS out for himself -- he didn't care what it would do to his wife.

I'm not sure if "others" see what he did differently than that, but I sure don't.
 

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Nope, what that guy in the article did is 100% selfish. He devastated his wife -- WHY -- because HE WANTED to be with another woman and wanted his wife to just sit there and be ok with it. HE WAS out for himself -- he didn't care what it would do to his wife.



I'm not sure if "others" see what he did differently than that, but I sure don't.
I'm guessing you did not see this:


This particular guy I (condemn), based upon the article's portrayal at least, because of talking about waiting to see if the other is a long term relationship or not. If you aren't planning to stay with your wife then straight up leave. Don't stay for now unless that is something she wants as well.
The one word is where I missed an auto correct to the wrong word.

I agree with your assessment of this one man, but your statements seemed to encompass more than just him, and it is the generalizations that I am making points against.


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Men typically don't pick their spouses for their earning ability. Maybe we are the stupid ones.
I would never say that. I will only say that there are pros and cons to all of our decisions....and they have consequences.
That's sad that marriage is a financial decision instead of a holy union. If it's that shallow to some, they have no business marrying. It's just going to end in disaster. That's also why marriage rates are at all time lows, it's too easy to get screwed. And usually it's more than the couple themselves that pay for it. The collateral damage is awful.
What? How is that a sad idea?

Of course living with someone-- and therefore marriage-- is a financial decision. Heck, even dating is a financial decision. Who pays for dates, food, outings? That's life. Living takes $$. Just because someone might believe marriage is a "holy union" doesn't change the fact that LIFE takes money. Being thoughtful around your lifetime financial decisions isn't shallow it's plain old reality and doesn't make anyone shallow. Or "sad". Or disastrous.

It's shallow, sad, and disastrous not to consider the effects of life, and therefore financial, decisions. Is it's so easy to get screwed, then think about what you are doing and who you are doing it with.

Someone who screws you in a divorce wasn't really a good pick for a holy union, after all.
 

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If $ enters into it in your head when considering your paramour then it's not love. Then it's merely a prostitutional transaction.
 

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If $ enters into it in your head when considering your paramour then it's not love. Then it's merely a prostitutional transaction.
This is the sort of thinking that has gotten many a person bent over a barrel when things don't turn out as expected.

Financial compatibility is as important as any of the other compatibility markers for a relationship. Ignore it at your own risk.
 

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What? How is that a sad idea?

Of course living with someone-- and therefore marriage-- is a financial decision. Heck, even dating is a financial decision. Who pays for dates, food, outings? That's life. Living takes $$. Just because someone might believe marriage is a "holy union" doesn't change the fact that LIFE takes money. Being thoughtful around your lifetime financial decisions isn't shallow it's plain old reality and doesn't make anyone shallow. Or "sad". Or disastrous.

It's shallow, sad, and disastrous not to consider the effects of life, and therefore financial, decisions. Is it's so easy to get screwed, then think about what you are doing and who you are doing it with.

Someone who screws you in a divorce wasn't really a good pick for a holy union, after all.
I guess you can walk through life planning for your next divorce. Ditching potential partners simply because they didn't measure up, but that's a shallow life. Here is a novel idea - don't get married. Save everyone the heartache of being in it for all the wrong reasons.
 

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This is the sort of thinking that has gotten many a person bent over a barrel when things don't turn out as expected.

Financial compatibility is as important as any of the other compatibility markers for a relationship. Ignore it at your own risk.
How materialistic.

So sad for you.
 

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I guess you can walk through life planning for your next divorce. Ditching potential partners simply because they didn't measure up, but that's a shallow life. Here is a novel idea - don't get married. Save everyone the heartache of being in it for all the wrong reasons.
That is the purpose of dating, is it not? How is it shallow? Here's a novel idea: instead of sending a check to the electric company, draw a bunch of hearts and kissy faces on the bill and send it in. See how long it will be before your electricity gets shut off.
 

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I guess you can walk through life planning for your next divorce. Ditching potential partners simply because they didn't measure up, but that's a shallow life. Here is a novel idea - don't get married. Save everyone the heartache of being in it for all the wrong reasons.
That is the purpose of dating, is it not? How is it shallow? Here's a novel idea: instead of sending a check to the electric company, draw a bunch of hearts and kissy faces on the bill and send it in. See how long it will be before your electricity gets shut off.
Yes!

Interesting that some men are reacting negatively to the idea that perhaps a man should consider different factors when choosing a partner, and also when making financial decisions in a marriage....yet it's also the MEN who complain and cry they they are shafted financially in a divorce in which the wife didn't work for 30 years.

You can't have it both ways.
 

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This is the sort of thinking that has gotten many a person bent over a barrel when things don't turn out as expected.

Financial compatibility is as important as any of the other compatibility markers for a relationship. Ignore it at your own risk.
How materialistic.

So sad for you.
Uhhhh huhhh. Should that be the stock phrase given out to men who complain that they don't want to split assets and future income in the event of a divorce then? How materialistic and sad!!! Too bad.
 

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Yes!

Interesting that some men are reacting negatively to the idea that perhaps a man should consider different factors when choosing a partner, and also when making financial decisions in a marriage....yet it's also the MEN who complain and cry they they are shafted financially in a divorce in which the wife didn't work for 30 years.

You can't have it both ways.
It's the old "I want my cake and eat it, too" crying tale.
 

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Financial compatibility can mean a lot of different things, but ultimately it absolutely is essential in a ltr. It was one of the major criteria on my list, in large part because of the lack of such compatibility in my first marriage!
 

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This is the sort of thinking that has gotten many a person bent over a barrel when things don't turn out as expected.

Financial compatibility is as important as any of the other compatibility markers for a relationship. Ignore it at your own risk.
How materialistic.

So sad for you.
Please don't feel bad for me oh, I'm doing pretty good. Save your pity for all of those people who made the mistake of not being materialistic enough and are now paying the price literally.
 

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I guess you can walk through life planning for your next divorce. Ditching potential partners simply because they didn't measure up, but that's a shallow life. Here is a novel idea - don't get married. Save everyone the heartache of being in it for all the wrong reasons.
How is wanting someone who is financially compatible any more shallow than say wanting someone who is sexually compatible or physically fit or mentally healthy or shares the same political views or religious beliefs?
 
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