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An interesting story about rising infidelity among older couples.

.....He said that this new woman, who is the same age as his wife lest you think that’s where this is going, excites him in a way he had never felt — or at least could no longer remember. He said the quandary was that he also deeply valued my friend and the life they had built together.

And so he had a proposal: He wanted an open marriage, one where he would spend half the week with his wife doing the regular things they always had, and then he would spend the balance of his time with this new woman, getting to know her better and seeing if she was, in fact, the person he was meant to spend the rest of his life with.

No, my friend didn’t murder him on the spot. Instead she called her lawyer and then her therapist — in that order......

......Right about the time when we accepted “70 as the new 50,” the average age at which people reported having affairs outside their marriage rose sharply. Today, Americans aged 55 and older report having more extramarital affairs than Americans under 55, according to The Institute for Family Studies. Until 2000, the opposite was true....








https://www.considerable.com/life/marriage/infidelity-older-couples/?fbclid=IwAR0xOidDbZPbIiQYfPEu8euFJWWAg6vCikNaclL1uExaGKdHftr11_wX9Is
 

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I'm not surprised. Gray Divorces (55+) are on the rise. Their rates have doubled since 1976. To put it in perspective, the rates for younger couples have halved. I'm sure infidelity plays a role in many of those divorces.
 

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Phew! Good thing we established that our relationship is open when we first met!

As for gray divorce, perhaps by retirement age you realize that you can't get away from your nemesis for 8 hours or more a day any longer (and may actually have to spend time with them!), so you decide to get away permanently. Some relationships are marginal to begin with, so take away the structure and demands of kids and jobs, and there is little left.
 

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I'm not surprised. Gray Divorces (55+) are on the rise. Their rates have doubled since 1976. To put it in perspective, the rates for younger couples have halved. I'm sure infidelity plays a role in many of those divorces.
A lot of it has to do with the era as well. Rates are dropping for the younger generations because they are waiting longer to get married. I think the younger generations are also looking at compatibly as well as love in choosing long term mates, as should be the case.



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Honestly there are just WAY too many ME ME ME entitled people in this world, and it seems to be getting worse. What ever happened to loyalty, keeping your word?
And which word is that? Keep in mind that not all used the stereotypical wedding vows, thus you may be assuming vows never given.

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Phew! Good thing we established that our relationship is open when we first met!



As for gray divorce, perhaps by retirement age you realize that you can't get away from your nemesis for 8 hours or more a day any longer (and may actually have to spend time with them!), so you decide to get away permanently. Some relationships are marginal to begin with, so take away the structure and demands of kids and jobs, and there is little left.
You and me both.

As for retirement, you do have to make alone time as well as time to be with your spouse(s). Further, I know there are couples who have done better in their marriage by having separate bedrooms. Open/poly only works for some people. This particular guy I confirm, based upon the article's portrayal at least, because of talking about waiting to see if the other is a long term relationship or not. If you aren't planning to stay with your wife then straight up leave. Don't stay for now unless that is something she wants as well.

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Lots of reasons for the rise in grey divorce:
If the couple was staying together "for the kids", then by age 55 that becomes a much weaker motivation.
If the married couple's parents have died, they don't have to explain the divorce to their parents.
After retirement, additional time spent together may be more than one or both can tolerate.
If one or both expect an inheritance, they may not want to share that windfall with their spouse.
If one or both have already received an inheritance, they may finally be able to financially "afford" a divorce.
People are living long enough for all these factors to be in play for enough time that it seems unbearable to just suck it up and wait for one spouse to die.
 

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And which word is that? Keep in mind that not all used the stereotypical wedding vows, thus you may be assuming vows never given.

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I mean your word IN GENERAL, although that does include wedding vows. IF you never told your wife/husband that you wouldn't cheat, then I guess if you want to parse the hell out of it, you didn't break your word.

Seems like we are heading (VERY QUICKLY) to where people are just out for themselves these days and don't really care at all about anyone else.
 

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A lot of it has to do with the era as well. Rates are dropping for the younger generations because they are waiting longer to get married. I think the younger generations are also looking at compatibly as well as love in choosing long term mates, as should be the case.



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Rates are also dropping because younger people are looking at marriage as being redundant, and young men are beginning to wonder how marriage would benefit them, as well as the risks associated with it.

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Rates are also dropping because younger people are looking at marriage as being redundant, and young men are beginning to wonder how marriage would benefit them, as well as the risks associated with it.

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I think if young men really wanted to avoid risks, they'd go out and get vasectomies as child support is typically the biggest cost associated with separation from a significant other, whether that be due to divorce or a break up...or a one night stand.
 

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I think if young men really wanted to avoid risks, they'd go out and get vasectomies as child support is typically the biggest cost associated with separation from a significant other, whether that be due to divorce or a break up...or a one night stand.
You forgot Alimony.

And yes, it wouldn't surprise me if the rates for vasectomies have risen in recent years.

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I think if young men really wanted to avoid risks, they'd go out and get vasectomies as child support is typically the biggest cost associated with separation from a significant other, whether that be due to divorce or a break up...or a one night stand.
Actually I am not sure that is true.

You could argue about where the biggest cost are while child support can def be huge. But Splitting the assets, buying them out of your retirement, home equity and stuff like that is a huge cost. Esp if the other party never worked and did not pull their weight in the marriage.

That is what happened to me, married to a drug addict that was a SAHM... Of course she kept that little fact hidden, and I was stupid, but never the less...
 

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I think if young men really wanted to avoid risks, they'd go out and get vasectomies as child support is typically the biggest cost associated with separation from a significant other, whether that be due to divorce or a break up...or a one night stand.
You forgot Alimony.

And yes, it wouldn't surprise me if the rates for vasectomies have risen in recent years.

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Alimony is only awarded if there is a large discrepancy in salaries or one partner does not work. There are some ways to avoid having to pay alimony in the event of divorce and the first is don't have a stay at home spouse. Second is to make sure you marry someone who's capable of making as much money or more than you.
 

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I think if young men really wanted to avoid risks, they'd go out and get vasectomies as child support is typically the biggest cost associated with separation from a significant other, whether that be due to divorce or a break up...or a one night stand.
Actually I am not sure that is true.

You could argue about where the biggest cost are while child support can def be huge. But Splitting the assets, buying them out of your retirement, home equity and stuff like that is a huge cost. Esp if the other party never worked and did not pull their weight in the marriage.

That is what happened to me, married to a drug addict that was a SAHM... Of course she kept that little fact hidden, and I was stupid, but never the less...
I agree that splitting assets sucks but there's all sorts of arguments for why that's fair. There's a price to pay to have the SAHM experience but then again there are many, many benefits, especially for children.

My ex husband made out well after the divorce even after we split assets. I was never interested in being a SAHM and I have a lucrative career. But yeah, raising a child, being a homemaker, and a career woman was not easy....on any of us.
 

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I think if young men really wanted to avoid risks, they'd go out and get vasectomies as child support is typically the biggest cost associated with separation from a significant other, whether that be due to divorce or a break up...or a one night stand.
You forgot Alimony.

And yes, it wouldn't surprise me if the rates for vasectomies have risen in recent years.

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Alimony is only awarded if there is a large discrepancy in salaries or one partner does not work. There are some ways to avoid having to pay alimony in the event of divorce and the first is don't have a stay at home spouse. Second is to make sure you marry someone who's capable of making as much money or more than you.
Men typically don't pick their spouses for their earning ability. Maybe we are the stupid ones.
 
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