My wife is currently very unhappy in our marriage of nearly 8 years. So unhappy that she started a romantic relationship with a coworker. Once I found out about it, she did say she would discontinue her relationship with him and work on our marriage. After some talking, her main sources of unhappiness as she understands them today are a lack of passion and romance, and more importantly, that she is afraid she can't be who she is or who she wants to be in our relationship. I have never once asked her to change who she was for me, but she thinks that I have this silent disapproval for everything she does. I understand her issues, but don't understand why she was too afraid to talk to me. At any rate I am looking for advice on how to help her understand that she can be an individual and a committed partner in a marriage at the same time. I don't know if she sees that. It is ok for her and I to have some differences of opinions, to have some different interests, and to have some different friends. I never told her we had to do everything together. She is seeing a counselor to help her with her individuality and happiness, but so far, he is completely unconcerned with the relationship. I fully believe that she can find happiness as an individual inside of a happy marriage. How do I convince her of that? What kind of activities can I, we, or she do to help her along that path? Have any of you ever gone through something like this? I believe that if we can ease her concerns a little bit that she might be better able to focus on the committment and trust that it takes for a successful marriage. Thanks.