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While semantics, I also think this isn't a emotional affair like she was advised in that thread. It is prioritizing someone else above your SO.
I completely disagree with this. It's an EA, a years long one. That he put OW above her BW is an understanding. That he gave a sh1t about BW is also an understanding... but well you can always put it on anxiety attacks, depression, needyness, pregnancy hormones... what ever fit the moment.

Now, while the marriage is hanging by a thread, when his wife was so sick of this she had to move away to give birth, when he's being given ultimatum after ultimatum... now, when he realizes he's wife is about to file finnaly got his first IC appointment. Then he believes she want thingd yesterday. How much time did she ask you what she needed from you?

OP can you explain why do you stated think you had an EA? I don't believe you agree with this.

That she's fighting codependence is not only good for her but for you... unless you don't want an healthy, equal partner.
 

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Would you say the same if the OW was a guy? She was an old friend, someone he was friends with even before he met his wife. I did feel it wasn't romantic at all, though the friendship was damaging to his marriage.... But this is going to be threadjack so I will stop.
Let's agree in wich we disagree. We certainly would threadjack this.

crimsonbling,
My wife and I are recently separated. It has been less than four months. She left me because of an emotional affair I had with a long time friend of mine. We have been trying to work things out between the two of us but it has not been easy.
Before the separation how many times she expressed concern about yout relationship with OW. For how long? How many fights ensued due this? Did you take some action before she had enough and left?
During the first part of the separation communication was very low between the two of us. She expressed alot of her needs during that time, but I dropped the ball because...
So, after so much warnings you you still found more things to atribute this extreme behavior. You were a victim. I bolded the paert in wich she expressed her needs. You were not unaware, you simply dismissed them. Once more time.
Last week.... She was upset at me because she expected me to take alot of immediate actions to things when I returned home.
So after months and months of warnings she finnaly leaves and for four months more you kept giving crap about her expressed needs. How can you name them now "immediate"? Hardly. She was asking for you to "get it", to see beyond tour needs, some actions for months and months, way before the pregnancy and even while separated.
I see the way you see it. Outrage, you were unfairly abandoned by you hormonal wife out of the blue, for no reason really. Unfathomable. You were the victim here. At the end, for the sake of your child you caved in but in reality she's the one who owns you an apology, making amends, some effort. How dare she to ask you to read books, go to IC, force you to admit what you didn't...?
You have been living the single life for so long, no boundaries at all with this OW, no care about her feelings, now you seem to understand, just a little, what you put her through... finnaly, but you still drag your feet.
And you wonder about the mixed signals?
And you wonder why she keep asking you for some actions which show you care?
And you wonder why she's fighting codependency?
You just started understanding but she's into this for years.
 
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