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10 Posts
I'm sure I'm not the 1st person to bring this up and I certainly won't be the last...but hey, it's a classic for a reason, right?
When we moved in together 4 years ago, my wife and I were both pretty messy people. I made a hardcore effort to change this, she went the opposite route and became much worse. She will pile stuff into a trashcan until it's overflowing (and never empty the trash), she leaves used tissues everywhere she comes home and throws grocery bags and her purse down in the middle of the floor where they will stay indefinitely, she leaves food and dishes out everywhere, she leaves computers, our guitars, everything out. It's really, really bad.
Here's the thing though. I don't really mind cleaning up after here. At worst, it's a mild annoyance. We talked about several times, she said she would try to be better about it, but nothing happened. I could live with that. The real problems began when she got angry at me for putting things away in the wrong place(i.e., he high heels in the section with her sneakers, not the high heel section of the shoe closet. These being shoes that had been sitting in the middle of the living room for days!) and then got angry because I would put stuff away when she "had it out for a reason" (the most recent example out of literally dozens of examples of this was a large empty box that had been sitting in our bedroom for, literally, a week). It became clear that every time I cleaned, I was putting away her shoes that had been out for two weeks that she planned to wear tomorrow, or a recipe book that had been sitting on the counter for four days contained a recipe she was going to use that night (I didn't delve into the subject of why it would be any more difficult to get the book from the bookshelf!).
So here's my dilemma, I don't want to live in a dirty house, but my wife basically gets angry when I clean. I'm at my wit's end and I've found that over the past several weeks I'm pretty much mad at her all the time. I simply stopped cleaning up after her because of the above reasons. After 3 days of not cleaning, the apartment absolutely is filthy. There is trash on the floor, plastic bags here and there, she spilled a bunch of beads on the floor and didn't sweep them up... Every other aspect of our marriage seems to be going very well, but I am completely out of ideas for how to deal with this.
So, spring forth anonymous internet posters and solve my life problems!
When we moved in together 4 years ago, my wife and I were both pretty messy people. I made a hardcore effort to change this, she went the opposite route and became much worse. She will pile stuff into a trashcan until it's overflowing (and never empty the trash), she leaves used tissues everywhere she comes home and throws grocery bags and her purse down in the middle of the floor where they will stay indefinitely, she leaves food and dishes out everywhere, she leaves computers, our guitars, everything out. It's really, really bad.
Here's the thing though. I don't really mind cleaning up after here. At worst, it's a mild annoyance. We talked about several times, she said she would try to be better about it, but nothing happened. I could live with that. The real problems began when she got angry at me for putting things away in the wrong place(i.e., he high heels in the section with her sneakers, not the high heel section of the shoe closet. These being shoes that had been sitting in the middle of the living room for days!) and then got angry because I would put stuff away when she "had it out for a reason" (the most recent example out of literally dozens of examples of this was a large empty box that had been sitting in our bedroom for, literally, a week). It became clear that every time I cleaned, I was putting away her shoes that had been out for two weeks that she planned to wear tomorrow, or a recipe book that had been sitting on the counter for four days contained a recipe she was going to use that night (I didn't delve into the subject of why it would be any more difficult to get the book from the bookshelf!).
So here's my dilemma, I don't want to live in a dirty house, but my wife basically gets angry when I clean. I'm at my wit's end and I've found that over the past several weeks I'm pretty much mad at her all the time. I simply stopped cleaning up after her because of the above reasons. After 3 days of not cleaning, the apartment absolutely is filthy. There is trash on the floor, plastic bags here and there, she spilled a bunch of beads on the floor and didn't sweep them up... Every other aspect of our marriage seems to be going very well, but I am completely out of ideas for how to deal with this.
So, spring forth anonymous internet posters and solve my life problems!
