In tears - Need to vent

1157 Views 4 Replies 3 Participants Last post by oncehisangel, Dec 3, 2012

SecretTears

Discussion Starter · Dec 3, 2012

Long story short (see my intro post for the full story) my partner of 13 years left me 2 weeks ago. I was devastated. I moved out of our apartment last week and we haven't been in contact last week at all (he texted me a few times which I ignored). I wasn't sure I wanted him back but I was still sad. I've been really busy, doing the 180 too. Today he said he needed to talk to me so we went out for supper.

He told me he has a job interview across the country and he might move there.

I am now in tears. He said it so calmly and matter of fact. My heart is broken who I shared so much history with I might never see again. I still don't know what I want and whether I want him back but the fact that there is 0% probability that we will reconcile hit me so hard. I feel like I have been stabbed. It hurts so much. I can't stop crying. I tried calling a couple of friends but no one answered. I can't believe he is so insensitive about it. I didn't cry in front of him but he could tell something was wrong. As soon as I got into the car I was hysterical, good thing the roads are dead at this time on a Sunday night.

Words of wisdom and calming affirmations gratefully received!!

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BigMac

· #2 · Dec 3, 2012

Calm down sweat heart !

If he moves to the other side of the country , that will be the best 180 you can even get as a Christmas present .

That way you two will became stronger and in 3 months you'll know if R is in the pic or not !

If it comes to R you two will reunite just like this !

Stay strong and AGREE with him !

Don't cry in front of him no matter what !

BTW

Long story short (see my intro post for the full story)

I know your story , but is a good habit to post a link to it

Here ST story - http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-...ion/61078-sudden-separation-what-do-i-do.html

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SecretTears

Discussion Starter · #3 · Dec 3, 2012

Thanks BigMac! I'm so lucky this board exists! You are right that we probably need a lot of distance right now. I'm not sure I want him back but I'm also not sure I'm ready to completely give up on the thought of ever reconciling. I'm fine when he's not around but whenever I see him I get into this kind of state so not seeing him for a while would probably clear my head.

He invited me out for dinner again next week and I was so distraught I said yes but when he calls to confirm I will tell him I can't see him anymore. I just need to muster the strength to do that and not cave in.

Thanks too for posting the link to my original post. Didn't have the mental energy to look up how to do that.

I stopped crying now. Will do some relaxation/visualization exercises and hopefully I can get some rest tonight.

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BigMac

· #4 · Dec 3, 2012

I'm fine when he's not around but whenever I see him I get into this kind of state so not seeing him for a while would probably clear my head.

YES , you know it

Think this way , if he moves that far you won't have a choice , you know what I mean ?

He can be bluffing too you know , so don't believe before you see it.

And after all he may not get the job, so you're panicking for nothing !

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oncehisangel

· #5 · Dec 3, 2012

That would have been hard to hear secret.

Ok..so now....think of this time as yours. Go do stuff!!! Do things, see people, clean out a cupboard that's driving you crazy. Eat an ice-cream on a beach, read a book. Just nurture YOU.

Don't let one person be responsible for your inner happiness.

And when he returns-let him see you refreshed and attacking life.

chin up young one. You CAN do this!

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