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644 Posts
Some of you may be familiar with my story but in a nut shell...
My STBXW had an affair that started in 2009 and went to 2011...1 1/2 years. Multiple D days. I got lying, blame shifting and gas lighting...you name it. She never opened up and was honest about her affair...no remorse. She pretty much refused to discuss it...I never got the truth from her but I did get it from her OM's wife. I told her I was divorcing her. She then said she wanted our marriage but did basically nothing for a year to fix it...no heavy lifting. I tried for a year but realized she was not motivated to put in the effort I needed, so I filed for divorce.
Anyway, we are in the settlement phase of our divorce and it should be over shortly. We still live together with our children in the same house and even share the same bed.
My STBXW has scheduled herself for surgery on the day of the settlement conference (court) and is having her attorney postpone the court date. She has been having female issues and her doctor supposedly wants her to have this proceedure asap. Is there a connection to her current medical condition and her past affair? I don't know. I do think she delayed the court date so her surgery will be still covered on my medical insurance.
Anyway, my question is:
She wants me to take the day off work and be with her at the hospital for her surgery. Should I do this or should I tell her to find someone else to take her?
Also, she is telling me that she won't be able to do anything physical for at least 3 weeks after the surgery. Am I supposed to take care of her as well?
What would you do?
My STBXW had an affair that started in 2009 and went to 2011...1 1/2 years. Multiple D days. I got lying, blame shifting and gas lighting...you name it. She never opened up and was honest about her affair...no remorse. She pretty much refused to discuss it...I never got the truth from her but I did get it from her OM's wife. I told her I was divorcing her. She then said she wanted our marriage but did basically nothing for a year to fix it...no heavy lifting. I tried for a year but realized she was not motivated to put in the effort I needed, so I filed for divorce.
Anyway, we are in the settlement phase of our divorce and it should be over shortly. We still live together with our children in the same house and even share the same bed.
My STBXW has scheduled herself for surgery on the day of the settlement conference (court) and is having her attorney postpone the court date. She has been having female issues and her doctor supposedly wants her to have this proceedure asap. Is there a connection to her current medical condition and her past affair? I don't know. I do think she delayed the court date so her surgery will be still covered on my medical insurance.
Anyway, my question is:
She wants me to take the day off work and be with her at the hospital for her surgery. Should I do this or should I tell her to find someone else to take her?
Also, she is telling me that she won't be able to do anything physical for at least 3 weeks after the surgery. Am I supposed to take care of her as well?
What would you do?