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Discussion Starter #1
Long story short. This year for our anniversary we wanted to go on a cruise and didn't because we didn't have the money and we're trying to save for a house. We did something close to home and cheap.

Now his best friend's bachelor party is coming up and he suggested to his friend they go on a cruise and he wants to spend more than we were able to spend on our anniversary.

I would think we are still trying to buy a house and he should be trying to throw a bachelor party within our means with the same goal in mind.

When I mentioned this to him he got upset because I made him "feel bad," I guess. I don't really know. I feel bad too. Now we're both feeling bad.

Am I being unreasonable?
 

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No, I don't think so. It sounds like he's feeling disappointed and mad at himself because he recognizes the truth of what you've said, but he might feel upset at *how* it was said, too, if you argued.

His priority to your family and home needs to be higher than his priorities to a friend who's getting married.
 

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No, I don't think so. It sounds like he's feeling disappointed and mad at himself because he recognizes the truth of what you've said, but he might feel upset at *how* it was said, too, if you argued.

His priority to your family and home needs to be higher than his priorities to a friend who's getting married.
I agree with this...

If you couldn't afford to do it for the two of you, then how would he afford to do it for him and a friend...

That makes no sense to me in anyway...
 

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No. I agree with the others. You are not being unreasonable. It might be worth talking through with him what is going on. I am wondering whether he has some particular 'need' to impress his friend that would be worth discussing. Sometimes us men can get in to a competition to show off to each other. I wonder if that might be what is going on. Is the friend richer than him? Is he trying to impress because he hopes at some point there may be a payback? Just some random thoughts.
 

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My husband's friend is a great friend. He's always there for us when we need it. He's not richer, per se, but he doesn't have any responsibilities. We have a lot of kids..lol 4. :) I understand the want to spoil him for this event, It's (supposed to be) once in a lifetime, but just like you guys have stated, I feel if we weren't able to do it for our anniversary, how are we able to do it now for this? And let's not even talk about mother's day. I need a good way to approach him about it without him getting angry. I want him to have a good time. A good, cost effective time.
 

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it is unfortunate that you have to tiptoe around an issue because of his misplaced anger. you have every right to squash these plans and I'd be angry that he even suggested it. A cruise for a bachelor party is WAAAAAY overboard. That's asking people to spend a lot of $.

Why is he angry at you, just because you are the responsible one.

Maybe tell him that you know that he is disappointed and you are sorry about that, but you didn't going on a cruise together for the same reason that he shouln't plan a cruise for his friend. You want what is best for the family and how much you spend on this friend and what you do is not a measure of the friendship.
 

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Friend’s bachelor party VS Buying a home?

If that is the choice it is a no brainer. The bachelor party will last less than week but the home can last 30-40-50 years!

One week of excitement vs a lifetime of security and a great investment!

You and your husband have FOUR (4) children so your husband should man-up and apologize for thinking like a teenager
 
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