I will try and keep this as simple as possible but its actually quite complicated. Im with a man who i believe is manipulative and selfish. Weve been together for a year now and even though i know i need to, i just cant break away.
He told me a bunch of lies while we were 'friends with benefits' - i fell in love with this witty and what seemed confident and popular guy. His ex found out that he was dating someone else and on a regular basis would call and text me nasty things that he had done to her - i brushed this off hoping that they were all lies and thought she just wanted him back. His past is very messy and i felt sorry for him, sorry that he had no parents around etc...In return he would seem really interested in my life by listening to me and discussing all the neat things i had done before meeting him. Fast forward now, he doesnt have any interest in 'me', when im upset and need a hug he just looks away until im so obviously down and out by the time he does hug me its a cold and obviously forced...When i bring an issue up, for example 'hun, instead of playing your xbox all day why dont we go for a walk?' he'll say 'yep soon' well soon never does come an i get really frustrated then feel bad and feel like im nagginf him. I try and discuss our issues (hes not working, has nothing to do with his kids, has a drinking problem etc) he fobs me off and says that all i want to do is argue. I feel like im going crazy!!! I pay all our bills, keep the house immaculate, look after his needs - even before my own... because i love him but it hurts so bad because i feel as though nothing im doing is enough,its never appreciated.
I have never hit a man or been beaten in my life but im guilty of hitting this one and i feel so bad for it. He frustrates the hell out of me and i just lose it,when ive hit him in the past he cries and eggs me on more saying things like 'go on!!! do it!!! hit me!!!' then i do and he sobs. I instantly feel a lot of guilt because i dont want to hurt him, i want him to stop emotionally abusing me. Weve tried counciling but he never sticks to his words, he tells the councillor this and that then when we get home its back to the same old ****. He plays with my mind and says 'i dont want u anymore' while we're argueing then 10 minutes later he'll say 'oh im sorry, i love you' then expects me to drop it and gets angry at me if i dont. It hurts being told that by him because i love him dearly and show it yet im expected to put up with this? We use to have lots of sex, now he withholds it and says that because i want to argue all the time that hes not in the mood for it. He cheated on his ex multiple times and im scared that will happen to me even though he promises not to, he says im 'the one' and makes jokes about how he wants to change my potty pan etc when im older but then i think if we're gonna work either i have to put up with the **** and shut my mouth or he has to shape up and get the help he needs...Im attractive, strong and independant. He was attracted to this in the beginning (his 3 exs were the same) but now i feel as though having those traits is a threat? Its not until i get to boiling point and state that ive had enough that he begs for me to stay, says we belong together, says he'll change etc its just so darn tiring and hard to deal with.
Gosh im annoyed right now at the thought of him going out clubbing while we're having this break, then lieing to me about it...carrying on with his daily routine while im sitting here rugged up on a couch hurting and writing this blog for support and advice. Have any of you been through something similar? What were your experiences? How do i leave without hurting him too much? How do i stay away if he calls and shows up non-stop professing his love?
He told me a bunch of lies while we were 'friends with benefits' - i fell in love with this witty and what seemed confident and popular guy. His ex found out that he was dating someone else and on a regular basis would call and text me nasty things that he had done to her - i brushed this off hoping that they were all lies and thought she just wanted him back. His past is very messy and i felt sorry for him, sorry that he had no parents around etc...In return he would seem really interested in my life by listening to me and discussing all the neat things i had done before meeting him. Fast forward now, he doesnt have any interest in 'me', when im upset and need a hug he just looks away until im so obviously down and out by the time he does hug me its a cold and obviously forced...When i bring an issue up, for example 'hun, instead of playing your xbox all day why dont we go for a walk?' he'll say 'yep soon' well soon never does come an i get really frustrated then feel bad and feel like im nagginf him. I try and discuss our issues (hes not working, has nothing to do with his kids, has a drinking problem etc) he fobs me off and says that all i want to do is argue. I feel like im going crazy!!! I pay all our bills, keep the house immaculate, look after his needs - even before my own... because i love him but it hurts so bad because i feel as though nothing im doing is enough,its never appreciated.
I have never hit a man or been beaten in my life but im guilty of hitting this one and i feel so bad for it. He frustrates the hell out of me and i just lose it,when ive hit him in the past he cries and eggs me on more saying things like 'go on!!! do it!!! hit me!!!' then i do and he sobs. I instantly feel a lot of guilt because i dont want to hurt him, i want him to stop emotionally abusing me. Weve tried counciling but he never sticks to his words, he tells the councillor this and that then when we get home its back to the same old ****. He plays with my mind and says 'i dont want u anymore' while we're argueing then 10 minutes later he'll say 'oh im sorry, i love you' then expects me to drop it and gets angry at me if i dont. It hurts being told that by him because i love him dearly and show it yet im expected to put up with this? We use to have lots of sex, now he withholds it and says that because i want to argue all the time that hes not in the mood for it. He cheated on his ex multiple times and im scared that will happen to me even though he promises not to, he says im 'the one' and makes jokes about how he wants to change my potty pan etc when im older but then i think if we're gonna work either i have to put up with the **** and shut my mouth or he has to shape up and get the help he needs...Im attractive, strong and independant. He was attracted to this in the beginning (his 3 exs were the same) but now i feel as though having those traits is a threat? Its not until i get to boiling point and state that ive had enough that he begs for me to stay, says we belong together, says he'll change etc its just so darn tiring and hard to deal with.
Gosh im annoyed right now at the thought of him going out clubbing while we're having this break, then lieing to me about it...carrying on with his daily routine while im sitting here rugged up on a couch hurting and writing this blog for support and advice. Have any of you been through something similar? What were your experiences? How do i leave without hurting him too much? How do i stay away if he calls and shows up non-stop professing his love?