Hi all, I would just like to start by saying hello to you all. From what I have read so far you seem like a friendly bunch and look forward to getting to know you all a bit better! 
Anyway, best start with my story and see if anyone as any advice for me.
I have been with my wife for 6 years now and married for four and a half of them. She's a stunning looking girl and I always feel so lucky to have married someone like her. That said she is not always the easiest woman to cope with. She changes her mind in a heartbeat, gets angry very quickly and despite saying she wants me to 'man up', doesn't seem to like it when I do actually put my foot down! I am a very phlegmatic by nature but realise that I need to be more assertive in life.
I have suffered for many years with on/off sexual performance anxiety. The past 2 years has been very much on though and has plagued my marriage to the point where my wife actually moved out for 10 weeks. She was blaming the lack of spark, she loves me but is not 'in love' with me. She wants me to be more assertive, to stop talking about and actually start my own business, to take control more and make her feel more like the woman in the relationship
In that time she was gone she met another guy. This relationship ended a week ago and she has since moved back to give things another go with me. I felt a touch cold towards her the first few days but have just started to feel happy she is back to try again.
I find myself distraught today though. She wanted sex in the early hours this morning and although I maintained an erection I was thinking non stop about my performance. She ended it after a few minutes though saying that it wasn't doing it for her (or words to that effect!). She has now said that she should move back to her bedsit again having spent the past few days moving all her stuff back in! She said she needs more time but I don't think it will help to be honest. I mean, if she is not here how can she see the changes I am trying to make?
I have tried for 2 years to fix the problems my end by counselling (on my own) and for the past 3 months with hypnotherapy. I have learnt that I have an issue of worrying what other think about me which I think is right on the money.
However, it has not really fixed any of my problems in my marriage. I really had high hopes for the hypno but find that I struggle to get in the zone and as I tend to do when reading a book, end up losing focus and thinking of something like what I am doing tomorrow night etc!
I am hoping to persuade her to stay till the end of the year when she gets back from work tonight. Can anyone advise me on what I should suggest to her or is my marriage doomed? I know if she leaves in the next few days that she won't be back.
We have such a strong bond in so many ways and would be so sad if this ends but want to feel that we gave it a real go to get that spark back.
Sorry if this seems like a ramble but wanted to get as much of the story down as possible.
Thanks for your replies in advance.
Justin
Anyway, best start with my story and see if anyone as any advice for me.
I have been with my wife for 6 years now and married for four and a half of them. She's a stunning looking girl and I always feel so lucky to have married someone like her. That said she is not always the easiest woman to cope with. She changes her mind in a heartbeat, gets angry very quickly and despite saying she wants me to 'man up', doesn't seem to like it when I do actually put my foot down! I am a very phlegmatic by nature but realise that I need to be more assertive in life.
I have suffered for many years with on/off sexual performance anxiety. The past 2 years has been very much on though and has plagued my marriage to the point where my wife actually moved out for 10 weeks. She was blaming the lack of spark, she loves me but is not 'in love' with me. She wants me to be more assertive, to stop talking about and actually start my own business, to take control more and make her feel more like the woman in the relationship
In that time she was gone she met another guy. This relationship ended a week ago and she has since moved back to give things another go with me. I felt a touch cold towards her the first few days but have just started to feel happy she is back to try again.
I find myself distraught today though. She wanted sex in the early hours this morning and although I maintained an erection I was thinking non stop about my performance. She ended it after a few minutes though saying that it wasn't doing it for her (or words to that effect!). She has now said that she should move back to her bedsit again having spent the past few days moving all her stuff back in! She said she needs more time but I don't think it will help to be honest. I mean, if she is not here how can she see the changes I am trying to make?
I have tried for 2 years to fix the problems my end by counselling (on my own) and for the past 3 months with hypnotherapy. I have learnt that I have an issue of worrying what other think about me which I think is right on the money.
However, it has not really fixed any of my problems in my marriage. I really had high hopes for the hypno but find that I struggle to get in the zone and as I tend to do when reading a book, end up losing focus and thinking of something like what I am doing tomorrow night etc!
I am hoping to persuade her to stay till the end of the year when she gets back from work tonight. Can anyone advise me on what I should suggest to her or is my marriage doomed? I know if she leaves in the next few days that she won't be back.
We have such a strong bond in so many ways and would be so sad if this ends but want to feel that we gave it a real go to get that spark back.
Sorry if this seems like a ramble but wanted to get as much of the story down as possible.
Thanks for your replies in advance.
Justin