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Can immaturity ruin a relationship?
I know there have been a lot of people on here who felt like they were dealing with their spouse more like a parent deals with a child just because their spouse wasn't stepping up. That causes a lot of problems. I mean it causes the obvious responsibility problems. If someone is immature you shouldn't have kids with them yet. If someone is immature to the point you're starting to feel like their mommy or daddy, that's a sex killer. Because of parental relationship isn't sexy and is very frustrating.

And then of course there are all kinds of facets of immaturity, like people who sulk instead of talk something out, people who want to play video games all day or stay blotto and never grow up and just don't have any aspirations that would benefit a family,

I would say immature people should not be getting married or getting pregnant. There's plenty of time for that. And if the person is still young they're going to change anyway as their brain continues to develop but you don't know which way that's going to go.
 

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Absolutely. Emotionally stunted people are everywhere. I've met a lot of them. Sometimes they put up a good front, but when things go wrong that's when their immaturity comes out on full display. It's also common for emotional age to lag behind chronological age, not necessarily in all areas but in key ones. Or in behavioral traits, like hobbies or eating behaviors. This would be absolutely fascinating to research.

My example is my MIL. She is a 70 year old child emotionally, but puts up a good front for acquaintances. Those of us in her family find ourselves rolling our eyes at her antics, because patterns become evident after years of experience knowing someone. Whereas her friends see a different person.

As married couples age together, this might be one of the most important factors in their happiness - emotional development and maturity. Sometimes a match in our 20s becomes a horrible mismatch in our 40s because people emotionally mature at different rates.
 

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Can immaturity ruin a relationship?
My late husband was 20 years older than me, his emotional immaturity made our marriage really difficult to make it more than anything but a contract between two people. So yes, it can spoil a lot and the face someone is older can make zero difference.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
My late husband was 20 years older than me, his emotional immaturity made our marriage really difficult to make it more than anything but a contract between two people. So yes, it can spoil a lot and the face someone is older can make zero difference.
I'm sorry to hear about your late husband. how immature could he have really been to be 20 years older? That's crazy.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Absolutely. Emotionally stunted people are everywhere. I've met a lot of them. Sometimes they put up a good front, but when things go wrong that's when their immaturity comes out on full display. It's also common for emotional age to lag behind chronological age, not necessarily in all areas but in key ones. Or in behavioral traits, like hobbies or eating behaviors. This would be absolutely fascinating to research.

My example is my MIL. She is a 70 year old child emotionally, but puts up a good front for acquaintances. Those of us in her family find ourselves rolling our eyes at her antics, because patterns become evident after years of experience knowing someone. Whereas her friends see a different person.

As married couples age together, this might be one of the most important factors in their happiness - emotional development and maturity. Sometimes a match in our 20s becomes a horrible mismatch in our 40s because people emotionally mature at different rates.
Yes indeed, maturity don't hit some people until real life hits them. Then they see its time to grow up.
 
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