I suppose I probably see things from the other side. Suicide usually doesn't help. It may help to try things one at a time.
For the BPD, try DBT - it is sometimes effective. If unaffordable, buy the book at least.
For the depression, try therapy/anti-depressants.
For the boredom, well, marriage is boring. If you have BPD, you may be a bit of a drama addict. You'll basically have to accept a tradeoff. On one end, you can avoid drama and stay married. On the other end, you can create tons of drama, end up divorced, and journey from R/S to R/S with plenty of drama. You could even seek out someone with emotional issues to get a better drama fix. Of course, you'll probably lose your stable life and eventually end up old,broke, and alone. In the short-term, as you're older now - you'll probably have to settle a bit, but it may be worth it to you.
For the brother-in-law, y'know, he should probably start working at some point. I don't know that this is something you can have much input on. If he's 25 years old and not disabled, it isn't healthy for him to sponge off of other people. That said, your husband probably lets him stay for the same reason he keeps a BPD wife around.
For your husband's job, while you probably did contribute to him losing that job, some portion of that failure was probably him too - so don't take all the blame. Honestly, I can blame you for meddling with your husband's career - even if you felt isolated. Still, isolation is a big deal and it may have been worth the risk. Next time though, it might be better to discuss things carefully and plan them out well in advance - if you acted impulsively last time. Also, bear in mind that BPD involves distorted perceptions, so, it may be best to take your husband's opinions on faith, as a rule.
If your husband is still with you - don't worry - he cares. He may be having trouble coping with your BPD/depression/health issues - which also may be relevant to his current career issues. Bear in mind that, if you cut the drama, he will have more time and emotional energy for you. That might take a few months, as he is probably running on his last legs most of the time.
For the R/S, it can help to schedule regular dates and time together. It can also help to take those nights and weekends and fill them with R/S with girlfriends and a life independent of your husband. One person can't substitute for the whole world.
--Argyle
For the BPD, try DBT - it is sometimes effective. If unaffordable, buy the book at least.
For the depression, try therapy/anti-depressants.
For the boredom, well, marriage is boring. If you have BPD, you may be a bit of a drama addict. You'll basically have to accept a tradeoff. On one end, you can avoid drama and stay married. On the other end, you can create tons of drama, end up divorced, and journey from R/S to R/S with plenty of drama. You could even seek out someone with emotional issues to get a better drama fix. Of course, you'll probably lose your stable life and eventually end up old,broke, and alone. In the short-term, as you're older now - you'll probably have to settle a bit, but it may be worth it to you.
For the brother-in-law, y'know, he should probably start working at some point. I don't know that this is something you can have much input on. If he's 25 years old and not disabled, it isn't healthy for him to sponge off of other people. That said, your husband probably lets him stay for the same reason he keeps a BPD wife around.
For your husband's job, while you probably did contribute to him losing that job, some portion of that failure was probably him too - so don't take all the blame. Honestly, I can blame you for meddling with your husband's career - even if you felt isolated. Still, isolation is a big deal and it may have been worth the risk. Next time though, it might be better to discuss things carefully and plan them out well in advance - if you acted impulsively last time. Also, bear in mind that BPD involves distorted perceptions, so, it may be best to take your husband's opinions on faith, as a rule.
If your husband is still with you - don't worry - he cares. He may be having trouble coping with your BPD/depression/health issues - which also may be relevant to his current career issues. Bear in mind that, if you cut the drama, he will have more time and emotional energy for you. That might take a few months, as he is probably running on his last legs most of the time.
For the R/S, it can help to schedule regular dates and time together. It can also help to take those nights and weekends and fill them with R/S with girlfriends and a life independent of your husband. One person can't substitute for the whole world.
--Argyle