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I feel as I'm stuck in limbo. Maybe it's the holidays?



Back on September 3rd of this year I walked out on my wife. I had informed her back at the beginning of July I would not tolerate silent treatments, withholding of sex acting as if I didn't even exist. I laid down my boundaries with her telling her if this type of behavoir continues, I would leave, for a day, then a week etc., Well, in late August my Aunt died. Long story short, my wife did not attend the wake or funeral with me. Then I endured a five day silent treatment until she starting sending me texts while I was at work blaming me for her not attending the wake or funeral. Believe me, she had ample opportunity to go but cited that she needed to be home with the kids to take them to their activities as her reason for not going. But in the texts, I'm being blamed? I work nights, I got home and found my pillows on the floor. I had had enough and packed a bag and told her I was enforcing what I had laid down in July.



Well, here I am in December still out of the house. I never intended to be out this long but I am. We seem to go through times were we both are trying to work things out, then there will be no communication for weeks. Two recent examples: I spent the entire week with her back during Hurricane Sandy and most recently, I spent four nights there during Thanksgiving week. Since the Thanksgiving week, the only time I hear from her is when she is confirming with me that I am taking one of the kids to their activities. Other than that, nothing from her.



Her Birthday was two weeks ago, I sent her flowers, took the kids out so they could get her birthday presents. I never heard from her. Now if she was expecting me to move back in based on Thanksgiving week, I had stated in a conversation with her that I could not just move back unless I saw something to let me know I was not going back to what I left, the silent treatments etc.; But what I'm going through just seems like another form of the silent treatment.



I really thought we could have built off of the Thanksgiving week, maybe she did too but I never get any actual feedback from her. In short, we go through two weeks of things seemingly going well and working towards going back together, then I will go through a period such as I am in now where it seems she really doesn't want anything to do with me.



I'm the one that walked out for the stated reasons I posted above but she's the one in control of the entire situation. I feel as if I was thrown out more so than I was the one who walked out. It's difficult navigating through these starts and stops. If you had asked me a month ago I would have told we both want to reconcile and get back together but today I don't think that's true.



I don't know where to go from here?
 

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I hope you get some good input here...
I lived with a man that did to me what your wife does to you until he ultamately walked out on me so I'm the last one to give advice here. But I hope you get some responses soon. I'm sorry your going through this...the silent treatment is indeed a form of control and I think it's abusive. It's passive aggressive behavior at it's worse.

After all...it takes two to communicate...two to make it work...and it seems your the only one that's been willing...have you considered cutting your losses and moving on? Sounds horrible I know...but???
 

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My wife wouldn't give me the silent treatment exactly... but would disengage from meaningful conversation, and then claimed that we lost that spark and we didn't talk about our dreams and aspirations any more and that lead to her "falling out of love" with me. I really wanted to talk to her the way we did when we met... but she checked out and then used it against me in the end. When I addressed this with her, she felt bad. But not bad enough to smooth it over and work on the marriage. She said that she stopped talking because she didn't want to hurt my feelings by telling the truth. Which ended up coming out anyways. By that time it was too late and she was long checked out, with a wall up that was sky high.
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How many kids do you have?

Current co-parenting agreement?

Custody schedule?
 
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