It sounds like he is engaging in the time-honoured tradition of crazy-making. That is, he is having issues with himself so he provokes you deliberately in order to project his crazy feeling onto you. After you flip out he can console himself in the 'knowledge' that the problems in your relationship must be due to you, not him (or shared) since you 'flipped out' over a simple exchange of question and answer. Yes, you have been had. Recognize this situation and learn to back away from it. You can engage in the time-honoured tradition of 'needing' to suddenly clean the bathroom, or go for a walk. Sorry this happened to you. Like it or not, once you have flipped out you can't take it back. So for this round, you got trumped. But you can resolve in the future to back away from provocation. He may be very well practiced at it by this point. If people have been living together for so long, it's obvious he should know your trigger buttons. He can easily choose to avoid them as to hit them. He chooses to hit them. Disengage mentally and back away politely in future. You will then see the crazy-making behavior for what it is. That's how it went from 'nothing' to 'huge'. Because he was playing you, and doing it well.