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Discussion Starter #1
Hi,

Ive used this forum before and found it very helpful so am hoping to get some guidance with this road block in my relationship.

I have known my girlfriend for a while now. We get on great most of the time. We have the same type of job but we dont work together. And i love her. She makes me happy. Now i know nothings perfect and compromises have to be made. now heres where am at.

When we got together i was not long separated from my wife. My now girlfriend knew i had 2 dogs and one would eventually be staying with me. My girlfriend had an old dog so it wasnt suitable for my dog to be around hers as it was distressing for her dog. Her dog passed away and she got a new one who met my dog and they get on well. Now shes never really liked my dog she says because it casts alot of hair and her dogs have been a type of breed where they dont cast any hair. She used to keep horses and i used to come out in a rash due to my allergy but i put up with it and took tablets for it. We are now at the point of wanting to stay together and share a home which will hopefully have land so she can keep horses again and am all for that. Horses make her happy but shes said its not going to happen if i keep my dog. Now for this plan to happen i will be the one relocating 100's of miles away from family and friends, i was going to give up my house to fund this land and new home. It seems to me i will be making all the effort and all she has to do is accept my dog. Now she'll be keeping her dog but she insists she cant stay with my dog because of the hair it casts. I see this as really unfair when am willing to move location and make major changes.

Since this has emerged other things have started to bother me. Ive noticed am always the one doing the traveling and staying over at hers. When am there my dog sleeps in the kitchen and is not allowed to wander the house while her dog gets the run of the place. I dont have anyone to watch my pet apart from dog kennels that cost money while her mum and dad regularly watches her dog while shes at work but she wont put it there overnight and come to mine. This seems really unfair to me and i know the mistake i made in my last relationship by compromising so much that i basically gave her my balls and my life became hell.

I dont want to fall out with my girlfriend but i want her to see it from my side but shes dug her heels in and is not going to compromises on it. i guess am asking "what do i do".

Cheers,
Kevin :smthumbup:
 

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... i know the mistake i made in my last relationship by compromising so much that i basically gave her my balls and my life became hell.

I dont want to fall out with my girlfriend but i want her to see it from my side but shes dug her heels in and is not going to compromises on it. i guess am asking "what do i do".
Are you serious? You have answered your own question. This is nothing more than a war of wills. She doesn't want your dog in her life. She does not want to compromise. You want her to accept your dog. You want her to compromise.

Guess what? You are reliving your previous relationship. Either get ready to part with your balls again or leave.

It's that simple. Period.
 

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Discussion Starter #5 (Edited)
Yea i kinda know thats where am at. And thats exactly the choice my own thinking is telling me. I just wanted it confirmed by others on here to make sure i wasn't being an a$$hole.

To add also to this. I found a conversation between her and one of her friends concerning this matter and the friends advice was "go out and pull some young hot farmer, that'll pi$$ him off"
 

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Hi thanks for getting back to me so quick. What do you mean by that. could you elaborate please.
Ok first, you have ALREADY(!) a long list of caving in to this woman. Just the way she likes it. How sweet. You're her doormat in training.

Find your cajones and stop letting her dictate how your relationship works. And, if she doesn't like the new, alpha you, better that you learn NOW, before you give up everything you know and love just to please her.

NMMNG = No More Mr Nice Guy. A book you need to read asap.
 

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Discussion Starter #10
btw, here's your REAL problem.You never took the time to be alone, learn to be ok by yourself, learn to love yourself, and be willing to BE by yourself if a woman didn't treat you well.
I thought about this but in my defense it was very casual to begin with for a long time
 

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Yea i kinda know thats where am at. And thats exactly the choice my own thinking is telling me. I just wanted it confirmed by others on here to make sure i wasn't being an a$$hole.

To add also to this. I found a conversation between her and one of her friends concerning this matter and the friends advice was "go out and pull some young hot farmer, that'll pi$$ him off"
Why are people like this? Some friend.
 

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Discussion Starter #16
If you've already read NMMNG, and you're still a doormat, you should move on to reading MMSLP.
Read that also but to be honest i thought it was a bit crude.

I know what ive done wrong now. Ive got comfortable with this new relationship and stopped working on ME.
 
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