[Janz121]

My husband and I started dating when we were 17, we got married two years later and were married for two years, I am now 21 and my husband and I separated only two weeks ago. My husband would go out drinking almost every weekend, he wouldn't get home usually till about 6am, he would come home so pissed sometimes that he would piss the bed. He cheated on me two months after getting married which I forgave him for because I believed he had changed and wouldn't do it again which I don't think he did but then again I wouldn't know for sure. I caught him watching porn about 6months ago, he promised he would stop and then 4months later I found more on the computer. Meanwhile I have been 100% faithful through the entire relationship, I have never lied to him, I do all the work around the house and cook dinner every night, I've been the best wife I could possibly be! So two weeks ago I just got to the stage where I couldn't take any more so I ended the relationship and moved back to my parents house and brought a ticket to another country to live ( I leave in a month) I didn't want to tell my husband that I was leaving because I thought he would make it harder for me to go but yesterday I hacked into his facebook account to be nosey and found that he had been messaging 6 different girls asking them to go out for a drink with him, I was so mad because we had only split two weeks earlier that I told him I was leaving but now I'm really struggling knowing that he is already interested in other people, I thought he would be struggling with the breakup but it looks like he's having a great time and it makes me really sad to realise that I really didn't mean anything to him for him to not worry that I'm leaving and more interested in the next girl how do I get these messages out if my head? Help!!

 

[peptobismol]

for christ sake you are 21. you have a whole life ahead of you without this looser. if possible file for an annulment. you should be happy you were able to get out of this bad marriage so young, instead of looking back 10 or 20 years later. This is your happpiest day and forget about what he is doing right now. Good luck.

 

[doureallycare2]

I agree with Peptobismol, read my story and see where you could end up after 30 years of trying, forgiving and always hoping the words were real and they will change. My husband even had counseling. It does hurt to know that he doesnt care the way you care, but its the fact. As soon as you accept that (me too) then the faster you will heal and come out a stronger person. My theripst says you have to give it a month for every year together. Be glad you only have 4 months and not 35 months to be in a stage of healing.

 

[Janz121]

tried to get an annulment but cant
i am happy im still young and dont have children with him because that would make things a whole lot more complicated.
i know im doing the right thing by leaving but i cant help but want to know what hes doing, who hes hanging out with, if he still cares about me at all.. i realise that by stalking his facebook etc that its not helping me move on but its like an addiction, i dont know how to stop. i know this must sound really stupid but does anyone have any advice as to how i can stop myself wanting to see what hes doing?

 

[doureallycare2]

Say no, resist.... the more times you say no and dont give in the easier it will get.