Lets put my mood in perspective:
Today I got the bright idea "well, let's be proactive, and do something nice for the wife." I go out to the store, grab fresh ingredients to make her a home cooked meal. Well dinner is being cooked, she notices what I bought and goes off. "You know we had all of this stuff, you were just too lazy not to look!" Well see I get that, yet I have checked the usual places for these things. Only issue being is that my wife is one of "those" woman who like to rearrange the kitchen and you get to find out where everything goes.
After dinner is finished, she goes off to the computer room. 45 minutes later she tells me "come here" well I wait about two minutes because my old dog wants to play with me. Needless to say she keeps asking until I snap back "alright I'm coming!" Well next I hear the laptop slam close and her storming around the house...I apparently didn't throw my dog off the couch and rush to her side...to see that she wants to buy a used bed....something I have little, to no interest with.
Well woman goes crazy, and starts angrily cleaning the house, pushing me aside belittling me for "not doing anything for her". Essentially it gets to the point in my head where I envision myself hitting her with a plate, so I calmly tell her "look, I'm not taking this...clean up yourself." I leave the room...go brush my teeth.
Well she's still fuming up and down the house calling me a child, and all sorts of lovely names, belittling me saying I do nothing for her.
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I'm going to be honest, I'm a stay at home husband. I run my own business out of my house and my memory isn't the sharpest. People forget things, and I'm not a highly overly organized person. You'd think about 3 years of being together she would have caught onto this.
I'm not going to tell you all a pack of lies to make me look good. I forget the laundry sometime, I forget dishes sometimes. I'm not perfect, nor do I pretend to be perfect. Yet according to her, I do nothing for her. I never lift a finger to help her. In her opinion I've never done a single nice thing for her...which to be honest I have. I pulled her from a dead end job, and turned her life around. Whenever she was in trouble I came to the rescue. I have always been there for her, and loved her. Yet when I forget the laundry once every 4 days or so...I'm suddenly the most disgusting slob on the planet who does nothing.
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So we're going to bed, I'm still being called names and such, and the couch is looking friendly (I'm currently hole'd up in my studio). I try to explain to her "no one will ever learn if you swoop in and do it for them." She replies "well we have the same conversations over and over and over..and I'm tired of it." Eventually it comes down to me saying "well stop then, stop swooping in and doing it for me, some relationships are about love and communication, people remind each other, and it works. If we had children they would have to be reminded." Well she crosses the line "so you admit you're a child...you walk into it with open arms." I leave the room, and tell her off as I exit "I'm not taking this, I'm not sleeping next to you." Well I hear her yelling "you think I want to go to bed angry"...and my response "too bad."
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Look I'm not bragging, I don't like where my marriage is heading. This is just one of many problems. My wife and I had a healthy relationship, we made love often...we did things for each other...we were happy.
Suddenly she stops sleeping with me, the thought of having sex with me revolts her. She'll push me away, and basically blast me with comments relating me to being a child....so I've given up on sleeping with her. Oh and when we do have sex, she lays there...like a cold fish.
My wife has issues I doubt she sees, when we're in a group of friends...I don't exist. My opinion does-not-matter, I'm a ghost. She makes no eye contact with me at all. She sees how depressed it makes me, and does not care.
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Oh and here is the best part of it all...the "work husband." Who is invited to dinner without my knowledge or consent. I say otherwise she replies "you didn't listen, I told you." These two are really friendly together...they laugh at each other's jokes, and are always doing projects together and she acts all coy with him...when we go out places she makes it seem like I'm the third wheel. She knows I'm jealous of how she treats him, she knows it angers me, I've even lashed out and accused her of sleeping with him which she denies...and I still think they've fooled around with how they act together. He gets very quiet whilst I'm around...
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I've also voiced concerns of depression/thoughts of suicide/seeing a shrink...she didn't care to ask why or understand. It was business as usual.
She seems more concerned about halloween (which she has been planning since June) than her marriage and how to fix it....in fact another couple we know are planning a halloween party...which I'm considering skipping our's and going to their's if it means being treated like a ghost and wanting to drink myself stupid.
Oh by the way I've developed a knack for drinking away my problems with my wife. I get plastered at parties to not give a **** anymore. Went out of town and blew 90 dollars on booze..worth every penny.
So all of this coupled together leaves me to the conclusion my wife, always sees me as in the wrong, not worthy of a say, anything. She goes on with her work husband...they have inside jokes and I'm always left feeling like the kid with his hands pressed against the glass outside of the house watching everything on the inside going right.
I honestly have no desire to listen to what this woman has to say, or doing anything nice for her. I make her dinner, and I'm not thanked, in stead I'm dressed down for buying duplicates of materials I didn't know we had (a whopping ten dollars!), put down, and called a child countless times....forgeting about me trying to do anything nice for her.
---------------
To summerize those who skipped the above:
My wife is obsessed with organization.
She belittles me for forgetting a single task.
She has a "work husband" who she gives more attention to, and laughs with/acts coy with.
She constantly calls me a child.
My wife ignores me at parties and pretends I don't exist.
When we go out with her "work husband", I'm the third wheel.
Our sex life is non existent, my hand has more life in it than she does.
She does not listen to what I have to say.
I'm really contemplating leaving her/committing suicide. Telling her this, she's unaffected and tells me I'm being weak.
Today I got the bright idea "well, let's be proactive, and do something nice for the wife." I go out to the store, grab fresh ingredients to make her a home cooked meal. Well dinner is being cooked, she notices what I bought and goes off. "You know we had all of this stuff, you were just too lazy not to look!" Well see I get that, yet I have checked the usual places for these things. Only issue being is that my wife is one of "those" woman who like to rearrange the kitchen and you get to find out where everything goes.
After dinner is finished, she goes off to the computer room. 45 minutes later she tells me "come here" well I wait about two minutes because my old dog wants to play with me. Needless to say she keeps asking until I snap back "alright I'm coming!" Well next I hear the laptop slam close and her storming around the house...I apparently didn't throw my dog off the couch and rush to her side...to see that she wants to buy a used bed....something I have little, to no interest with.
Well woman goes crazy, and starts angrily cleaning the house, pushing me aside belittling me for "not doing anything for her". Essentially it gets to the point in my head where I envision myself hitting her with a plate, so I calmly tell her "look, I'm not taking this...clean up yourself." I leave the room...go brush my teeth.
Well she's still fuming up and down the house calling me a child, and all sorts of lovely names, belittling me saying I do nothing for her.
------------------
I'm going to be honest, I'm a stay at home husband. I run my own business out of my house and my memory isn't the sharpest. People forget things, and I'm not a highly overly organized person. You'd think about 3 years of being together she would have caught onto this.
I'm not going to tell you all a pack of lies to make me look good. I forget the laundry sometime, I forget dishes sometimes. I'm not perfect, nor do I pretend to be perfect. Yet according to her, I do nothing for her. I never lift a finger to help her. In her opinion I've never done a single nice thing for her...which to be honest I have. I pulled her from a dead end job, and turned her life around. Whenever she was in trouble I came to the rescue. I have always been there for her, and loved her. Yet when I forget the laundry once every 4 days or so...I'm suddenly the most disgusting slob on the planet who does nothing.
------------------------------------------
So we're going to bed, I'm still being called names and such, and the couch is looking friendly (I'm currently hole'd up in my studio). I try to explain to her "no one will ever learn if you swoop in and do it for them." She replies "well we have the same conversations over and over and over..and I'm tired of it." Eventually it comes down to me saying "well stop then, stop swooping in and doing it for me, some relationships are about love and communication, people remind each other, and it works. If we had children they would have to be reminded." Well she crosses the line "so you admit you're a child...you walk into it with open arms." I leave the room, and tell her off as I exit "I'm not taking this, I'm not sleeping next to you." Well I hear her yelling "you think I want to go to bed angry"...and my response "too bad."
------------------------------
Look I'm not bragging, I don't like where my marriage is heading. This is just one of many problems. My wife and I had a healthy relationship, we made love often...we did things for each other...we were happy.
Suddenly she stops sleeping with me, the thought of having sex with me revolts her. She'll push me away, and basically blast me with comments relating me to being a child....so I've given up on sleeping with her. Oh and when we do have sex, she lays there...like a cold fish.
My wife has issues I doubt she sees, when we're in a group of friends...I don't exist. My opinion does-not-matter, I'm a ghost. She makes no eye contact with me at all. She sees how depressed it makes me, and does not care.
----------------
Oh and here is the best part of it all...the "work husband." Who is invited to dinner without my knowledge or consent. I say otherwise she replies "you didn't listen, I told you." These two are really friendly together...they laugh at each other's jokes, and are always doing projects together and she acts all coy with him...when we go out places she makes it seem like I'm the third wheel. She knows I'm jealous of how she treats him, she knows it angers me, I've even lashed out and accused her of sleeping with him which she denies...and I still think they've fooled around with how they act together. He gets very quiet whilst I'm around...
---------------------------------------
I've also voiced concerns of depression/thoughts of suicide/seeing a shrink...she didn't care to ask why or understand. It was business as usual.
She seems more concerned about halloween (which she has been planning since June) than her marriage and how to fix it....in fact another couple we know are planning a halloween party...which I'm considering skipping our's and going to their's if it means being treated like a ghost and wanting to drink myself stupid.
Oh by the way I've developed a knack for drinking away my problems with my wife. I get plastered at parties to not give a **** anymore. Went out of town and blew 90 dollars on booze..worth every penny.
So all of this coupled together leaves me to the conclusion my wife, always sees me as in the wrong, not worthy of a say, anything. She goes on with her work husband...they have inside jokes and I'm always left feeling like the kid with his hands pressed against the glass outside of the house watching everything on the inside going right.
I honestly have no desire to listen to what this woman has to say, or doing anything nice for her. I make her dinner, and I'm not thanked, in stead I'm dressed down for buying duplicates of materials I didn't know we had (a whopping ten dollars!), put down, and called a child countless times....forgeting about me trying to do anything nice for her.
---------------
To summerize those who skipped the above:
My wife is obsessed with organization.
She belittles me for forgetting a single task.
She has a "work husband" who she gives more attention to, and laughs with/acts coy with.
She constantly calls me a child.
My wife ignores me at parties and pretends I don't exist.
When we go out with her "work husband", I'm the third wheel.
Our sex life is non existent, my hand has more life in it than she does.
She does not listen to what I have to say.
I'm really contemplating leaving her/committing suicide. Telling her this, she's unaffected and tells me I'm being weak.