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147 Posts
DH had an EA, wants a divorce (hasn't moved out, hasn't filed for separation, only decided our marriage doesn't deserve the work). I and my therapist think it's just his way of dealing with the guilt. Our marriage wasn't good, but it was never bad, all of his needs (except for me to be 110 pounds again) have been met. He feels we haven't accomplished ourselves individually while being together. Um, yeah, playing WoW almost every night after work for 3 years can leave one unaccomplished, I would say.
Anyway, we have a little one, I want to work on this because I feel DH is being a jerk, things can be fixed, and I don't want to give up easily for the little one's sake mostly. But, I don't know why I want to hold on with so much pain inside. I keep asking myself why I'm holding on, I'm not sure.
Anyway, I'm lonely. I am so freaking lonely. He and I have been "warring" for 3 months now. We were intimate 3-4 times in that mean time (ironically, not much less than normal, our sex life has always been lacking and that needed to be addressed.) But we don't touch, we don't hug, we don't hold. He sleeps on the couch because I don't want him in bed. I'm just lonely. Like, i've been emotionally eating again (gained every pound I lost exercising and dieting before this mess happened) and whatever, like nothing is filling my needs. How do you cope with loneliness in the detachment/limbo phase? At the beginning, i would approach him, and he'd shut me out. Now, I don't want to approach him anymore. I hate him for the pain I'm dealing with and for causing this trauma, not leaving, but not committing. He's a selfish jerk at this point and I just can't handle it well. He wants to be "nice" and pretend we're friends! WE ARE NOT FRIENDS. We're husband and wife going through **** and you're not man enough to leave or man enough to stay!
Anyway, my main question is, how do you deal with the loneliness? I just want someone to hold me al night or something. How do I get through this?
Anyway, we have a little one, I want to work on this because I feel DH is being a jerk, things can be fixed, and I don't want to give up easily for the little one's sake mostly. But, I don't know why I want to hold on with so much pain inside. I keep asking myself why I'm holding on, I'm not sure.
Anyway, I'm lonely. I am so freaking lonely. He and I have been "warring" for 3 months now. We were intimate 3-4 times in that mean time (ironically, not much less than normal, our sex life has always been lacking and that needed to be addressed.) But we don't touch, we don't hug, we don't hold. He sleeps on the couch because I don't want him in bed. I'm just lonely. Like, i've been emotionally eating again (gained every pound I lost exercising and dieting before this mess happened) and whatever, like nothing is filling my needs. How do you cope with loneliness in the detachment/limbo phase? At the beginning, i would approach him, and he'd shut me out. Now, I don't want to approach him anymore. I hate him for the pain I'm dealing with and for causing this trauma, not leaving, but not committing. He's a selfish jerk at this point and I just can't handle it well. He wants to be "nice" and pretend we're friends! WE ARE NOT FRIENDS. We're husband and wife going through **** and you're not man enough to leave or man enough to stay!
Anyway, my main question is, how do you deal with the loneliness? I just want someone to hold me al night or something. How do I get through this?