I'm gone need support

Ok. I'm going to try an sum up our drama story.

Wife and I have been together for almost 11 years. Married for 6.
We got together when she was a teen. Before marriage she had her "I didn't get my wildness out and so I went and cheated" thing. Then, we got married. No wedding. Have a 3 yr old girl. We love each other very much. We love our family. I can be cold sometimes and call my wife "goofy" or "retarded" I'm a lot like my dad. He was a verbal abusive husband and physically abusive father. WE've been here before, she's served me papers before and I was able to get her to stop and we worked on our relationship. Years later we have another fight. No talk of Divorce.

Today. 2.5 months ago, my wife came to me on her own and told me how much she loved me and How I'd better not ever leave her because she wouldn't know what to do. I have been neglectful at times, and I get jealous sometimes when she wants to go out with her friends, sometimes to clubs or dancing. I feel "of course I'm gonna feel that way".

We started a haunted house for a business. Had a LOT of potential for making enough money to be comfortable. We're poor folks. We sold our 2 hotrods and land to start this. Now it's failing. About 1.5 months ago, a week after wife told me she loved me so much, our volunteers showed up. 2 young guys showed up wanting to act. (1 19 and 1 20) When the wife told me "2 guys are here wanting to act and I think you're relaly gonna like them" As soon as I saw them, I thought "don't let them do it, send them on their way" But I didn't. I let them act. They came by every day to help build. The more and more they stayed, the more my wife started hugging on them (they're huggers) and the less time she spent with me.

Now? We're separated. Divorce has been mentioned. We had a fight because I wanted to tell her how much I realized I wasn't giving her enough attention and how I was being a jerk at times. So then we separated and I lived in the opposite end of the house. She's since cheated on me with the 19 year old. Twice. It's over. She's still friends with the 20 year old and our 17 yr old actress that are dating. (the 20 yrs old friend and 17 yr old girl is together now) And she's been hanging with them every chance she gets.

So I'm separated. My wife NOW says that "My feelings for you have changed and I don't know why" and of course "I love you but not like 'that' anymore" When this first started she was using every excuse, that I"ve hit walls when mad at times, to being "controlling" .. which I don't feel I was controlling, if so not much, ya know? Just got nervous when she wanted to go out to dance etc with her friends.

I'm changing to what my wife says she needs. Me to do more for her, give her more attention etc. Now that I"m trying to fix my marriage, she says I'm smothering her and I have to either give her time and space or she WILL serve me papers.

Can someone please help? I think my rewriting my story in a new thread (better summary) will help. Please help. I'm at my moms wth our daughter and it's killing me. She said she's going to her friend's tonight for a farewell party and she will drink, but it's supose to only be Ryan, his girlfriend, Ryan's sister and my wife. BUt how am I suppose to know this? I'm trying to give her space and I'm feeling better about being away, but it's killing me now.