My husband is an alcoholic, he wont' admit it, but anyone who drinks as much as he does, as often as he does has to be. He is a nice person when he is drinking, fun, lively, attentive, caring. When he is sober, he is a jerk. He is cruel, cold and I really can't stand him. Together we went for our passports for a cruise we planned. We were excited, happy, the works. I changed the date for him, upgraded to a suite, all which I paid for. We are to leave next week but yesterday he told me he is not going, doesn't feel like it. Needless to say, I have lost the money I paid, all of it for his ticket. I plan to go anyhow as this was also our graduation gift to my daughter so she and I are going. I am so mad. He told me that we don't need sex anymore, never helps me with any work I do at the farm and I am feeling like what am I doing here. Any advice from anyone who has been in this position. We have been married 15 yrs.