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8 Posts
One of my smartest and most earnest friends passed away two days ago. He was one of my first guy friends, my first kiss... We have been friends since I was 12 and I'm now 25. So needless to say he had a huge impact on my life. When I think about how drastically my life would be different without ever knowing him, I can't even fathom.....
my FH and I live 6 hours away from home now, and aren't exactly the most well off couple in the world. We struggle month to month to make ends meet, even though we both work full time. However, I feel its very important to use some of my spare (not that its much but it is there) money to drive home for the funeral, and to spend time with some of my closest friends who have helped shape who I am today, and are in the deepest pain people can experience.
I fully expected him to support my decision. I wasn't expecting him to take time off work and come home with me, like a LOT of women would.. I simply just expected to be able to go. Myself. Say goodbye to one of my dearest friends and celebrate his life with those who love him most. But instead, I got screamed at. About how immature it is to waste money when we barely have any extra. How I need to put this family first (him. myself. our dog and cat.) He was talking to his mother about the potential trip home and she SIDED WITH HIM.
am I delusional? Am I really being selfish by feeling the NEED to go home and say my goodbyes? I lost my brother 6 months ago almost to the exact day. I can't keep losing people! I NEED TO SAY GOOD BYE! Is that crazy? If I'm wrong, by all means call me out.
But I don't feel I deserve to be screamed at over the need to grieve. I feel like I'm all alone all of a sudden. How does he not understand? He of all people should, he lost a father figure 2 years ago and STILL has nights where he falls apart over it. HOW DOES HE NOT GET IT?
my FH and I live 6 hours away from home now, and aren't exactly the most well off couple in the world. We struggle month to month to make ends meet, even though we both work full time. However, I feel its very important to use some of my spare (not that its much but it is there) money to drive home for the funeral, and to spend time with some of my closest friends who have helped shape who I am today, and are in the deepest pain people can experience.
I fully expected him to support my decision. I wasn't expecting him to take time off work and come home with me, like a LOT of women would.. I simply just expected to be able to go. Myself. Say goodbye to one of my dearest friends and celebrate his life with those who love him most. But instead, I got screamed at. About how immature it is to waste money when we barely have any extra. How I need to put this family first (him. myself. our dog and cat.) He was talking to his mother about the potential trip home and she SIDED WITH HIM.
am I delusional? Am I really being selfish by feeling the NEED to go home and say my goodbyes? I lost my brother 6 months ago almost to the exact day. I can't keep losing people! I NEED TO SAY GOOD BYE! Is that crazy? If I'm wrong, by all means call me out.
But I don't feel I deserve to be screamed at over the need to grieve. I feel like I'm all alone all of a sudden. How does he not understand? He of all people should, he lost a father figure 2 years ago and STILL has nights where he falls apart over it. HOW DOES HE NOT GET IT?