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I don't really know where to start
I've never posted on here before but I was googling to find some answers to my relationship problems and came across this forum.
I've been married just over 3 years and I have a 1 year old,I love my husband to bits and have done so since we first got married,he is a great father and has a lovely character with everyone,every one who knows him loves him,in the beginning he showed me so much affection and made me feel really special,always made an effort on birthdays and anniversaries and would tell me I was beautiful and that I had made him the happiest man on earth.
But as time has gone on he has slowly lost interest in me,he has no inclination towards me sexually and never says I'm beautiful or special to him in any way,I think he is gorgeous in every way,and I tell him this almost every day.
Whenever it's his birthday or our anniversary,I want to make it the best day of his life and I will spend whatever I have to do so,but now when my birthday comes I get an almost empty card saying happy birthday,with words that don't make much sense and seem very meaningless,and a second hand teddy bear,as opposed to me buying him a number of presents including things like iPads and I pods and surprise parties.
I have voiced my concerns to him many times to which his response is silence most of the times and then after 5 minutes he will get up and carry on as normal and ignore the fact that I have just cried my eyes out in front of him,telling him how much I love him and asking what's wrong with me,why don't you love me any more.
Ive started having really low self esteem and have become very negative towards my appearance,my friends and family keep telling me that I'm beautiful and there's nothing wrong with me,but I don't believe them,but before I married my husband I received a lot of male interest and felt very confident about my appearance.
He has a very big interest in his car and left this hobby when we first got married but about two years ago he re-started his project and since then our relationship has gone down hill,i am not jealous or annoyed of him having a hobby as I understand that is what he enjoys but I feel that he has replaced me with his car,as he spends hours writing essays out on his car forums and i beg him to write me a nice message in my birthday cards.
He will splash money in the hundreds on modifying his car every month and not think twice but every time my birthday comes he always has a new excuse to not get me anything,I Am using a 7-8 year old phone while all my friends have the latest smart phones and he says this bothers him and he wants to buy me an I phone(for over a year now), but I still tell him I don't mind,as long as he loves me I don't want his money or gifts but the only reason it bothers me is because I see him spend like crazy on his car.
When we first got married he would always want to take pictures of me and look at them admiringly but since his car project has started he has never taken a single picture of me.
But if I go through his I pod I find 100's of pictures of his car and every little thing he's bought (just looks like pieces of rusty metal) but hell take 20-30 pics of each alloy,turbo,breaks bonnet that he buys.
I know it sounds really silly but I feel like he married me and then became a little child with his toys,I really hate being in debt and he knows this,I will never borrow a penny from any one,if I can't afford it I won't have it,but he has borrowed money from everyone,his family and friends and even my family.
If I ask him why he has done this he will just say "finances are my problem so why are you worrying about it?"
All the money he has is spent on cars
I will never spend his money on myself unless I but something second hand or damaged in a clearance sale,I always give him all the money I have and I only spend what I need to on our weekly grocery shopping,even my daughters toys and clothes are all second had from car boots or charity shops
I booked us a holiday (out of my money)as I thought this would bring us closer together and make him love me again and we have both never been on holiday,I saved up the money and when I booked it he was not at all interested or enthusiastic even though he had never been on holiday in his life,we didn't even have a honeymoon so I thought it would be special,but whenever I would ask him if he was looking forward to it he would just say " Im not really bothered"
And the whole time until the holiday he spent on his car and then the day before we left he said he found a new car that he wanted to buy and that it was his dream car,it cost £3'000 and we couldn't afford it but I let him buy it anyway with all the money that we had including our holiday spending money,I know you will say I'm stupid but I wanted to get him his dream car so that he would be happy and enjoy the holiday with me,but as soon as we got back he was stuck to the car,once again spending more than we had and getting us into debt,and then a couple of months ago he decided his dream car was a different model and he bought that,
Even though it's a 3 door and we have a baby and I don't feel it's practical for a family car,I let him buy that as well,but I'm starting to feel like I've had enough now,I loved him so much to the point I couldn't sleep if he hadn't kissed me good night but now I am starting to feel numb towards him and it breaks my Heart everyday that I sit and wait for him to come home from work and miss him so much but he comes and eats and doesn't even notice I'm there,but don't get me wrong he is a lovely person,he's never nasty or violent towards me,he just seems like a person with no feelings,he's a great dad as well so I don't know what to do as I could never leave him,but I can't imagine myself surviving in this relationship much longer as even though I'm married I feel so alone,I just wish he could love me again,I dont want to stop loving him but I'm scared that I might already have done so
I'm sorry for the ridiculously long post,I just don't have anyone to talk to as I don't want people who know him to dislike him because of me,if I didn't have my daughter I think I might have gone mad,
When were alone I talk to her and I cry but when I get really upset she cries too and I feel bad,and she's only 21 months old,so she can't give me great advice
I've never posted on here before but I was googling to find some answers to my relationship problems and came across this forum.
I've been married just over 3 years and I have a 1 year old,I love my husband to bits and have done so since we first got married,he is a great father and has a lovely character with everyone,every one who knows him loves him,in the beginning he showed me so much affection and made me feel really special,always made an effort on birthdays and anniversaries and would tell me I was beautiful and that I had made him the happiest man on earth.
But as time has gone on he has slowly lost interest in me,he has no inclination towards me sexually and never says I'm beautiful or special to him in any way,I think he is gorgeous in every way,and I tell him this almost every day.
Whenever it's his birthday or our anniversary,I want to make it the best day of his life and I will spend whatever I have to do so,but now when my birthday comes I get an almost empty card saying happy birthday,with words that don't make much sense and seem very meaningless,and a second hand teddy bear,as opposed to me buying him a number of presents including things like iPads and I pods and surprise parties.
I have voiced my concerns to him many times to which his response is silence most of the times and then after 5 minutes he will get up and carry on as normal and ignore the fact that I have just cried my eyes out in front of him,telling him how much I love him and asking what's wrong with me,why don't you love me any more.
Ive started having really low self esteem and have become very negative towards my appearance,my friends and family keep telling me that I'm beautiful and there's nothing wrong with me,but I don't believe them,but before I married my husband I received a lot of male interest and felt very confident about my appearance.
He has a very big interest in his car and left this hobby when we first got married but about two years ago he re-started his project and since then our relationship has gone down hill,i am not jealous or annoyed of him having a hobby as I understand that is what he enjoys but I feel that he has replaced me with his car,as he spends hours writing essays out on his car forums and i beg him to write me a nice message in my birthday cards.
He will splash money in the hundreds on modifying his car every month and not think twice but every time my birthday comes he always has a new excuse to not get me anything,I Am using a 7-8 year old phone while all my friends have the latest smart phones and he says this bothers him and he wants to buy me an I phone(for over a year now), but I still tell him I don't mind,as long as he loves me I don't want his money or gifts but the only reason it bothers me is because I see him spend like crazy on his car.
When we first got married he would always want to take pictures of me and look at them admiringly but since his car project has started he has never taken a single picture of me.
But if I go through his I pod I find 100's of pictures of his car and every little thing he's bought (just looks like pieces of rusty metal) but hell take 20-30 pics of each alloy,turbo,breaks bonnet that he buys.
I know it sounds really silly but I feel like he married me and then became a little child with his toys,I really hate being in debt and he knows this,I will never borrow a penny from any one,if I can't afford it I won't have it,but he has borrowed money from everyone,his family and friends and even my family.
If I ask him why he has done this he will just say "finances are my problem so why are you worrying about it?"
All the money he has is spent on cars
I will never spend his money on myself unless I but something second hand or damaged in a clearance sale,I always give him all the money I have and I only spend what I need to on our weekly grocery shopping,even my daughters toys and clothes are all second had from car boots or charity shops
I booked us a holiday (out of my money)as I thought this would bring us closer together and make him love me again and we have both never been on holiday,I saved up the money and when I booked it he was not at all interested or enthusiastic even though he had never been on holiday in his life,we didn't even have a honeymoon so I thought it would be special,but whenever I would ask him if he was looking forward to it he would just say " Im not really bothered"
And the whole time until the holiday he spent on his car and then the day before we left he said he found a new car that he wanted to buy and that it was his dream car,it cost £3'000 and we couldn't afford it but I let him buy it anyway with all the money that we had including our holiday spending money,I know you will say I'm stupid but I wanted to get him his dream car so that he would be happy and enjoy the holiday with me,but as soon as we got back he was stuck to the car,once again spending more than we had and getting us into debt,and then a couple of months ago he decided his dream car was a different model and he bought that,
Even though it's a 3 door and we have a baby and I don't feel it's practical for a family car,I let him buy that as well,but I'm starting to feel like I've had enough now,I loved him so much to the point I couldn't sleep if he hadn't kissed me good night but now I am starting to feel numb towards him and it breaks my Heart everyday that I sit and wait for him to come home from work and miss him so much but he comes and eats and doesn't even notice I'm there,but don't get me wrong he is a lovely person,he's never nasty or violent towards me,he just seems like a person with no feelings,he's a great dad as well so I don't know what to do as I could never leave him,but I can't imagine myself surviving in this relationship much longer as even though I'm married I feel so alone,I just wish he could love me again,I dont want to stop loving him but I'm scared that I might already have done so
I'm sorry for the ridiculously long post,I just don't have anyone to talk to as I don't want people who know him to dislike him because of me,if I didn't have my daughter I think I might have gone mad,
When were alone I talk to her and I cry but when I get really upset she cries too and I feel bad,and she's only 21 months old,so she can't give me great advice