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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Greetings! Newcomer here! Alright, I am 20 years old and so is my husband. We have been together for 6 years and married for two. We have had every single problem that every couple has had. I have had to deal with infedility, trust issues, anger problems, in-law problems, money disagreements, drug issues, porno problems and the list goes on and on. We have one baby girl named Audrey. Through all of this, we have managed to stay together, or should I say I have managed:scratchhead: Anyway, our new problem is this...My husband has made attempts to changed. He helps with the household and Audrey, takes me to school everyday and picks me up, works, and cooks. Now he is beginning to slack off. I have been having back problems and asked for his help. Instead, he left his clothes in the floor, ignored me and went to bed at 2 in the afternoon! Why at this time? Because last night he stayed on the internet all night. I decided to get help from my grandmother and to go home with her. He blames me for not being there to wake him up to get to work on time and sleeps the entire day. :crazy: So, he turns off his phone and ignores me for the rest of the day. I get angry and tell him to give me my key back so he drives off and doesnt come back till the next afternoon.:wtf: I attempted to talk to this man and instead he continues to act nonchalantly. Its as if he gets pleasure from seeing me angry. I just want to get out of this cycle, even if it means divorce.
 

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I am assuming, I hope I don't offend, that the marriage happened as a result of Aubrey? How long have you been married? I got married about the same age but my husband is older than me. I have heard that women usually mature a lot sooner then men. You may be ready for this marriage but he is still a kid. He must care about you because he was making attempts at change. It is easy to make the change but sticking with it is the tough part. It takes dedication, and patience to make it work... which takes a lot of maturity. If he cares about you I doubt he takes any pleasure out of your anger. When you have calmed down and had some time to reflect on what you want out of this relationship, talk to him calmly about what you are feeling. Try and see things from his perspective. Do you appreciate when he tries to change? Maybe give him a little pat on the back. Let him know his attempts at changing are appreciated but you need him to keep at it for the relationship to get any better. Good luck.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thanks for the advice. No, we were married for two years and my daughter is only 4 months old. I appreciate the advice and will do my best to satisfy it. Hopefully I get some results!
 

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Sherlock Holmes used to make reference to the dog that did not bark, in other words the aspect of the situation that is not yet uncovered. If this is the way your husband normally acts then you probably already know what you need to do, but it sounds as though he is acting in a way that is out of character for him. If so, the mystery lies in why he is acting this way. Rather than starting at the middle or end (ie: modifying his behavior) begin at the beginning and discover why he is acting this way. Best of luck.
 

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WOw married 2 years and only 20??? and all these issues already??

I ahte to say this, but you guys are really young and got married way to early. You been dating since Middle school or freshman in HS??

Wow my 20's were my best growth period and where i Sowed my wild oates, as well as my wife did as well. We dated 7 years BEFORE we got married all through college then engaged for 2 years

I really don't know what to say but you should seek counseling, you will have alot of rough patches since you are both so young. You need ALOT of family support, I mean you guys can't even drink or go to bars yet?? OUCH.

Sorry, I don't mean to be in shock, But I am.

It reminds me of the Kenny Chesney song, "There goes my life"

Well I think you guys need to do some "Growing" together, which I mean is Make a Date night, go out do things just you and hubby have Grandma watch your daughter. While I sowed my wild oates my wife was around and I enjoyed it with her, you will need to do the same and also do the family thing since you are already there.

Life is very tough and expensive, especially in todays market, you are really behind the 8 Ball, lot's of work, lot's of Bills, a young mouth to feed, school, work,...as a 20 year old man I would be depressed if that was my life already (honestly)

You need to be a couple and go out and have some wild times together either you both and maybe some friends.

I respect your dedication and willingness to make it work, Both of you, but your relationship is fragile, just because you are married and have a kid, does not mean you can not go out and have a wild night of drinking and partying with friends. You just have to be more selective.

Maybe the next time your hubby is off from work, you ahve someone watch your child, you dress in a nice semi sexy outfit, and tell him, let's go do something for the night, Grandma has Audrey, let's do something, anything...I am all yours....let's have some fun! Either with friends or by yourselves.

Date night is important to continuing the spark, sounds like your both stressed out with life....it happens, Best of luck!
 
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