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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
There I said it. I feel better already. Before I get the flood of of posts that say"you need to move on etc etc. I have moved on and I'm actually very very happy. I got married, I have a decent enough job, I have wonderful family and friends, my finances could be a bit better but that will soon change for the better.

This (angry?) feeling came on about three weeks ago. I put a post here about my ex sending me a general message from linkedin, in total I received about 4 or five emails. I ignore them, I found this feature on there and I was able to unsubscribe from his emails so since then it has been quiet. I'm a curious person by nature that is just me. So I started to ask myself wow that seemed out the blue why now? It will be 5 years by the end of this year since we broke up. When we were together he had this bad habit of contacting his ex's. Now that I'm an ex I guess it's my turn wtf?

So I find out that he has a girlfriend who is a year younger than me with two kids. And she gushes on and on about how wonderful her bf is and it pissed me off. He really try to make himself look like a great guy. But why should I care? I shouldn't care, I'm happy as well. I was thinking to myself sort of having an inner argument. If he is happy so what? Your doing better without him. you're happy. I want him to suffer forever. Sorry for saying that but that is how I feel.

And what I realized was I was also mad at myself for letting him treat me the way that he did. I was angry at myself for being so weak and everything that reminds me of him I think of my old self. Keep in mind I don't want him back at at he is a serial cheater. I just wanted him to be miserable I didn't want him to be happy I wanted him to feel the hurt and pain that he caused me. I felt like in a way he got away with it, he lives in another state now (hiding).

I just wanted to vent and get it out my system. I just wanted to make sure I'm not crazy for feeling this way. My life is good I just wanted to get that out there. If anyone else has been through this please share. Thanks for reading/listening
 

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So I find out that he has a girlfriend who is a year younger than me with two kids. And she gushes on and on about how wonderful her bf is and it pissed me off. He really try to make himself look like a great guy.
She gushes and thinks he is wonderful, because she does not know the real him. If he is contacting you, he is probably contacting a few others. She probably does not know this. When she finds out, she will one day emotionally be where you are....angry.
 

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She gushes and thinks he is wonderful, because she does not know the real him. If he is contacting you, he is probably contacting a few others. She probably does not know this. When she finds out, she will one day emotionally be where you are....angry.
Oh yeah.. the new GF carrying on "he's my dream guy", "he's so wonderful". "I'm so happy". I'm going through this too.

My STBXH's new bimbo must be a trusting soul. She hasn't known him for 13 yrs, I have. Part of me gets pissed part of me says "run for the hills if you know what's good for you". My STBXH is a pathological liar, cheater, emtionally and phsyically abusive man who I can't wait to get my final decree from. He's completely crazy.

Trust me.. he was sweet, perfect and gentle when we first met too. Fast forward a few years and his well concealed mask over his borderline personality disorder started to slip.

These guys always put on a good show for the new women in their life, but sooner or later, they can't keep it up forever :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thanks Salt, that is true, thanks for posting. You are right I'm pretty certain she doesn't know but sadly I hope she doesn't know that side about him at least not the hard way. I know this feeling will pass it's just I'm mad at myself for letting him remotely get to me.
 

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There I said it. I feel better already. Before I get the flood of of posts that say"you need to move on etc etc. I have moved on and I'm actually very very happy. I got married, I have a decent enough job, I have wonderful family and friends, my finances could be a bit better but that will soon change for the better.

This (angry?) feeling came on about three weeks ago. I put a post here about my ex sending me a general message from linkedin, in total I received about 4 or five emails. I ignore them, I found this feature on there and I was able to unsubscribe from his emails so since then it has been quiet. I'm a curious person by nature that is just me. So I started to ask myself wow that seemed out the blue why now? It will be 5 years by the end of this year since we broke up. When we were together he had this bad habit of contacting his ex's. Now that I'm an ex I guess it's my turn wtf?

So I find out that he has a girlfriend who is a year younger than me with two kids. And she gushes on and on about how wonderful her bf is and it pissed me off. He really try to make himself look like a great guy. But why should I care? I shouldn't care, I'm happy as well. I was thinking to myself sort of having an inner argument. If he is happy so what? Your doing better without him. you're happy. I want him to suffer forever. Sorry for saying that but that is how I feel.

And what I realized was I was also mad at myself for letting him treat me the way that he did. I was angry at myself for being so weak and everything that reminds me of him I think of my old self. Keep in mind I don't want him back at at he is a serial cheater. I just wanted him to be miserable I didn't want him to be happy I wanted him to feel the hurt and pain that he caused me. I felt like in a way he got away with it, he lives in another state now (hiding).

I just wanted to vent and get it out my system. I just wanted to make sure I'm not crazy for feeling this way. My life is good I just wanted to get that out there. If anyone else has been through this please share. Thanks for reading/listening
You're basing this on what your ex is telling you? Why even read any emails he sends you?
 
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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
No Jasel I dont know where you go that from. He didn't tell me anything. I saw it through a social network. If you read that I posted I said he sent me a generic email requesting to be friends through Linkedlyn.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Broken thank you very much for posting! I was feeling pretty embarrassed for feeling this way I was scared that I would get more of a negative feed back response. I'm sorry some of you have/are going through this but in a strange way I feel comfort in knowing I'm not alone. BTW broken your ex husband sounds a lot like my ex boyfriend
 

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Maybe angry is the wrong word to use more of annoyed...
The apparent injustice bothers you. You might wish that Karma had thumped him a little harder and a little more often, and that those close to him had more a clue what an ass pimple this guy is.

Perfectly normal. But not entirely healthy. Sometimes there is no justice. At least not in this lifetime.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
You are right GT. I just had to get out of my system. This pops up everyone once in awhile. The justice I see for myself is that he is no longer in my life, that has to be enough for me.
 

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Oh yeah.. the new GF carrying on "he's my dream guy", "he's so wonderful". "I'm so happy". I'm going through this too.

My STBXH's new bimbo must be a trusting soul. She hasn't known him for 13 yrs, I have.
Trust me.. he was sweet, perfect and gentle when we first met too. Fast forward a few years and his well concealed mask over his borderline personality disorder started to slip.

These guys always put on a good show for the new women in their life, but sooner or later, they can't keep it up forever :)
What I bolded is exactly what I tell myself that brings me back to reality, if I ever feeling "bad" about how "good" the AP feels with my ex. They have not lived together for 4 years, and spent nearly every day together.

So, unless and untl they DO spend that much time together, with eachother's children, I just keep remembering that their r/s isn't rooted in reality.

Either eventually one of them will smarten up or one of them will realize that the other smartened up...and leave. Either way, I don't see it lasting. I give it 5 years...tops.

Vega
 

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I would completely understand your anger. I found out my wife has been having an affair and am currently going through my personal bipolar rollercoaster of hell the past week or two.

At times I wish she would feel what she did to me, and other times I wish we can work through it.

She is moving out for sure, and the worse part is it seems like I want to work it out more than she does.

Not trying to hijack your thread - sorry. Just wanted to say I can completely understand the deep anger and desire for justice when you've had your heart and mind fd with on that level.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Seven eight thanks for sharing! Your not hijacking at all, besides the more people that chime in the more I know (I'm not the only one) that feel this way!
 

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Oh yeah.. the new GF carrying on "he's my dream guy", "he's so wonderful". "I'm so happy". I'm going through this too.

My STBXH's new bimbo must be a trusting soul. She hasn't known him for 13 yrs, I have. Part of me gets pissed part of me says "run for the hills if you know what's good for you". My STBXH is a pathological liar, cheater, emtionally and phsyically abusive man who I can't wait to get my final decree from. He's completely crazy.

Trust me.. he was sweet, perfect and gentle when we first met too. Fast forward a few years and his well concealed mask over his borderline personality disorder started to slip.

These guys always put on a good show for the new women in their life, but sooner or later, they can't keep it up forever :)
She isn't a Bimbo for not immediately seeing through him. And neither were you. You are just 13 years further on than her.
 

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Krismimo,

I hate to say this, but maybe he is trying to rectify with his new girlfriend all the mistakes he made with you. Maybe he has become a great guy. Maybe he is really a super awesome person now...

The fact is he betrayed and hurt you and your love for him is gone. He screwed up and you are still dwelling on it. My Ex is a piece of work, but I just don't care about her.

Maybe she has become a loving and great mother. Maybe her new boyfriend really loves her. Maybe she is a spectacular person now...

I don't think so, but I don't care. Your Ex could still really be a putz but who cares? You do... Your new husband doesn't deserve that. Focus on the positive and realize you have someone in your life now worth thinking about. Don't think about the one who was stupid enough to let you go.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
People can change that is not impossible, but he did try to contact me he has a bad habit of doing that. I know what I have it's not something I dwell on 24 hours, it's more of a trigger. If he is happy than fine nothing I can do about it. I don't "care" per se my concern was why contact he now I didn't/don't want to be bothered. I'am happy it just felt like a blip. I just wanted to see if anyone has ever gone through that blip.
 

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Krismimo,

I hate to say this, but maybe he is trying to rectify with his new girlfriend all the mistakes he made with you. Maybe he has become a great guy. Maybe he is really a super awesome person now...

The fact is he betrayed and hurt you and your love for him is gone. He screwed up and you are still dwelling on it. My Ex is a piece of work, but I just don't care about her.

Maybe she has become a loving and great mother. Maybe her new boyfriend really loves her. Maybe she is a spectacular person now...

I don't think so, but I don't care. Your Ex could still really be a putz but who cares? You do... Your new husband doesn't deserve that. Focus on the positive and realize you have someone in your life now worth thinking about. Don't think about the one who was stupid enough to let you go.
Well said.
 

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Krismimo,

I hate to say this, but maybe he is trying to rectify with his new girlfriend all the mistakes he made with you. Maybe he has become a great guy. Maybe he is really a super awesome person now...

The fact is he betrayed and hurt you and your love for him is gone. He screwed up and you are still dwelling on it. My Ex is a piece of work, but I just don't care about her.

Maybe she has become a loving and great mother. Maybe her new boyfriend really loves her. Maybe she is a spectacular person now...

I don't think so, but I don't care. Your Ex could still really be a putz but who cares? You do... Your new husband doesn't deserve that. Focus on the positive and realize you have someone in your life now worth thinking about. Don't think about the one who was stupid enough to let you go.
I think I would work hard to make sure I don't make the same mistakes in my next relationship. I would hope that I learn from my mistakes and be a better person. I'm sure some people do just that; I'm also sure that more people don't.
 
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