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I haven't done one of these question threads in a long time! Just to be clear, this thread is just for discussion purposes, I'm not asking because I need help with a problem.

Question:
If you had the choice to start your life again, would you still choose to be with your spouse/significant other? Why or why not?
Avoiding the damage we both experienced that put us on the path to meeting and connecting, yes.
 

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The answer to that question is both yes and no.

Yes: If I’m to be married then my wife is definitely the one for me. I knew this at a young age and we married very early. She is undoubtedly a great wife, mother, and person.

No: I’m a very independent person and have no problem being on my own. I spend about 60% of my life on the other side of the world from my wife for work so I understand that I’m also good at it. I’ve got pretty good game/value so part time relationships would be pretty easy.
 

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I love my kids, and they wouldn't be here if I wasn't with my wife (and if she didn't have affairs). At times, I do have the thought that I would do every bit of it all over again to have them in my life.

But, you can't miss what you don't know...

So, if I didn't have to know what I was losing, then no I probably wouldn't do it again. We were friends before we dated and I probably should have left it that way.
 

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A question that is relevant to me for sure. My wife had a ONS while we dated, a few years prior to marriage. Had I known at the time, I feel like I would have left her.

Now, some 20 years later and her physical affair in 2012, it is more complicated with finances, kids, intertwined families, etc.

We are still together and are in a better place, but our relationship is forever changed.

So, in my case, I would say if I had a do over, I wouldn’t have married her. But since I wasn’t equipped with all the facts at the time of marriage, I’m content with our current situation.
 

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Question:
If you had the choice to start your life again, would you still choose to be with your spouse/significant other? Why or why not?
No. I know that my marriage only lasted 2.5 years anyway so both of us would be better off without that little episode.

If I had a do-over I would have seriously worked on my issues from growing up in an alcoholic home a lot sooner, gotten myself right in the head, and probably not ended up in any of the relationships that I chose.
 

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Fair enough, maybe I didn't write the question clearly --

What is meant by the question is:
Would you pick your spouse again and live the same life that you are living with them and have been living with them -- same "damn mistakes" and all! :)
Yes, Yes, Yes to the question worded in this manner!

My wife is beautiful outside and inside. She is a loving wife, a sexy lover, and caring best friend. She is a wonderful mother to our sons and fantastic DIL to my 90+ year old dad. She provides for our family emotionally and monetarily making $225K+ a year. We want for nothing. I am damn lucky she worships & loves me immensely in spite of me being an aZZhole at times. She is the best life partner I could have chosen.
 

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No I would not. My wife's entire family is a cesspool of mental illness . There are times when I feel that my wife is insane. I'm still married because we now have an adult brain injured daughter living with us. Which has led to an even more stressful marriage .
Eventually, I will have to D , just to keep own sanity
 

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What is meant by the question is:
Would you pick your spouse again and live the same life that you are living with them and have been living with them -- same "damn mistakes" and all!
Yes, I'd pick the same women. They were wonderful, But there were some failings on my part that I blush to think of, that I would prefer not to repeat! Nothing dramatic, not violence or infidelity. Just stupidity.
 

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No clue.

If all my previous life experience and wisdom was erased I’d expect my life could be better but it could easily be way worse.

You can’t say, “hindsight 20:20” if you can’t look backwards. So I’d say I wouldn’t take that gamble.

All of my major life decisions like career choice, marriage, kids or no kids, etc… I am fine with and don’t regret anything right now.

This got me wondering… what are the critical decision points that shaped your life and how do they rank? I was just thinking where marriage ranks. I think I probably made 2-3 critical decisions before I was interested in having a serious girlfriend. Change any of those and the pool of women around me changes.
 

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The past is our hardest lesson, it need be.
Keep it that way.

To revisit the past, promises those same travails, they but, repackaged..
 
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Not one little bird dropped out his nest a full-fledged eagle.
So many tree limbs, those spiraling air pockets, shaped well his flight.



Are Dee- from his notes
 
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To add on in response to the OP edit, I made most of my mistakes before meeting my wife. It's a wonder I ever made it that far.

I wonder whether I would have been able to give her a chance to take our office chum relationship to the next level without having had to start over from scratch in my world view and self image after the women before her shattered the world and self I thought I knew.

And I would make serious changes in how we raised our daughter. I would have worked on teaching her to be stronger in herself and make her own decisions.
 
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