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To add on in response to the OP edit, I made most of my mistakes before meeting my wife. It's a wonder I ever made it that far.

I wonder whether I would have been able to give her a chance to take our office chum relationship to the next level without having had to start over from scratch in my world view and self image after the women before her shattered the world and self I thought I knew.

And I would make serious changes in how we raised our daughter. I would have worked on teaching her to be stronger in herself and make her own decisions.
 
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