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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So, I was crushing on this person since 1~2 years as he is my college friend. But we are working in different countries at the moment so I stopped my feelings.

Few months later, he suddenly arranged for a visit to the country where I am working and planning to meet me. And it is in my Birthday week so I was having mixed signals at the same time if he really likes me or not. And we both enjoyed the big vacation. We were contacting like crazy nearly everyday that we are going to meet since months ahead. We scheduled and planned for the whole trip. It was my first annual leave for me and it is his first annual leave too so it was so meaningful. We went every places and spent the whole week together.
Things went little far and we got intimate. We had sex nearly everyday of the visit. Not only sex, we were feeling emotionally bonded as almost 7 days was passed together all the time. We eat things together, went on a road trip together, deep conversations all the time, hold hands, we did everything like a couple for example he even feed me something from his spoon. But, he did not commit me as a partner yet so I decided to ask him to define our relationship when he went back to his country. Even though we are far, we are still communicating and he is texting me first all through out the day so i thought this can be something serious. But surprisingly, his answer shocked me.

He said he is not ready for a relationship since we live and work at a different country. He said things might change and we do not know our future and it seems like a totally different person when he said this. Still though, he is keeping in touch to me daily and acting like he is caring about me in texts. He said he wanna keep in touch as a friend and not ready for a relationship yet.
In other words, we spent the whole week together as a couple and I got friendzoned. I was emotionally damaged. It was so painful and hurt way too much.
It might be possible that he is not attracted to my physical appearance as well.

I do not know what is going on inside his mind. I cannot forget him and memories keep relapsing.
Can I receive any advices from anyone? It will be so helpful to me. thank you.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Sorry but it sounds like he used you for his own purposes. He wanted you so he persuaded you that he actually liked you more than a friend. I am guessing that you don’t just hook up with friends. If he knew this from college, then he played the part of a lover before he arrived for the sex every night. He is a POS player.

I suggest you end contact with him and block him on everything. You deserve better then the POS that did this to you.
i will just ghost him..
tbh i really like this person.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 · (Edited)
I never think sex is the thing.

i tried uninstalling all social media accounts yesterday. he called me up and ask me what happened. i pretended like nothing happened. Then, he was comforting me and telling me some jokes as well to cheer my mood up. Then, he asked me to check the messages he was sending to me about his stuffs. Then, I am seeing his messages everywhere : - messenger, instagram, linked in. That last day i went to the airport - i still remember that scenario. I was crying on the table at a chinese restaurant and eating together with him bcos i was feeling sad that he is leaving. He said " a lot of things happened. but we will try to meet again." saying like this and cutting the shrimps on my plate asking me to eat and trying his best to comfort me. Afterwards keeps hugging me and touching my hand to get the attention back.
Why would someone care this much when he is not interested in the first place? if it was me, i would just ghost away to the person I'm not interested. It may seems pathetic but I was kinda confident about his feelings and that was the main reason i decided to commit. it feels like i am someone first priority in his life like my opinions matter everytime to him since he also do not have anyone romantically involved and flirting around - not even chatting with other girls. I was seeing some panic attitudes from him that he is afraid to lose me when i decided to cut the contact.

this attitude is really confusing. Is it something like:-
1. He was not interested for long-term thing with me in the first place but emotionally bonded and being nice to me bcos he missed the memories...
or-
2. He is just comforting me up because he rejected me..

I just like this person way too much..

I am a smart women in my career and financially stable and as well as a very confident person in other aspects. Regarding about love, always becoming fully blinded and stupid, dumbass every single time. I used to devote intense amount of interest in the first place and things will get bored for me everytime - usually got bored after interfering with some guys. But, with him i dont understand myself as well why i kept chasing this bad type of player person. Still wanting to see how things goes.
 
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