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Discussion Starter #1
My wife has been working out with weights now for about a year. She has always been dominant in the bedroom, and she has asked me to get slimmer (so I've been cycling and trail running, and not doing any weights). I was already fit, but I have really slimmed down. We are now both 5'7", 140 lbs. Because of the weights, she has become obviously stronger and more muscular than I am, particularly in the arms and in overall upper body strength. We seem to have an extremely solid relationship, but I am concerned that she will become less interested in me because I am smaller than her. Are there any other married couples out there where this type of match has worked out? (or not worked out - so to speak).:confused:
 

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I wouldn't worry about it too much. Maybe it bothers you, though? Do you feel less attracted to her because she might be stronger then you?
 

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start pounding the weight for crying out loud I for one could not handle my wife being stronger than me.

not that it could happen I'm 5'10 180 and squat 315 and she is 5' 110.


and although some women might say they don't care ...trust me they do nobody wants to be married to a whimp. just like they say they don't care if they make more money but inside your not making the grade and they will eventually become resentfull.

start hitting the weights is my advice.
 

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5'7 140??? Wow. You're real skinny dude. I wouldnt worry about it though. |She would have mentioned something if it bothered her.
 

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When I met my husband he was 5'11" and 135 pounds. I weighed 108. I really paid it no mind.

If she hasn't said anything I wouldn't worry about it.
 

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I`d hit the weights man.

You`ll have 500 women in here over the next day or so telling you it doesn`t make a damn bit of difference.

Don`t listen to any of them.

Hit the weights, strength train.
 

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It seems wrong that it should be this way, but I would have to say I wouldn't like it (but I wouldn't lose respect for him). Perhaps it's a very primitive thing, but I do like a man to be much taller and stronger than I am. It makes me feel protected.
 

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If I were you, I would start lifting weights too. You would be surprised how much weight you will move up in the first few months. It will taper off after a while, but at first, you will advance quickly. I don't care if you have to start out benching 90 pounds, for example, you'll be up to 150 in a few months.

Get the facts and do it correctly to avoid injury and be most productive, and then hit the weights!
 

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I used to box competitively and was also as strong as my husband in some lifts, stronger than him in others. Never bothered me or him. I always knew I married a naturally skinny guy. He was still better at plenty other "manly" things like taking a pile of parts and turning them into a beautiful hot rod, or fixing anything that broke.

Taken to its extreme, the thought process that a man should *always* be physically stronger than his wife begs the question of what happens in the case of serious illness, injury, stroke, paraplegia, etc.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
I appreciate the responses. I think the problem that no one (except perhaps Bianca) is responding to is that my wife explicitly told me that she wanted me to NOT lift weights, and that she wanted me to be slim and fit. I actually love the way that we feel together now, it's pretty exciting - but I'm concerned that deep down although she thinks that she wants this - there's going to be some hardwired part of her that will find me to be less attractive.:scratchhead:
 

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Read this post to my wife last night and asked her..

"If you were able to physically overpower me would that be a turn off?"

Her answer was an immediate "Yes, that would be a big turn off"

Now maybe all women aren`t this way but it`s my opinion most are.
maybe the OP`s wife is different I dunno but in general I`m going to say it`s a safe bet no woman wants a "weak" man in any aspect.

Hit the weights OP
 

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That's what I'm concerned about Tacoma. However, would your wife be interested in weightlifting and developing her upper body strength? Because my wife definitely is into it. And would your wife ever ask you to stop lifting weights? These two facts alone may indicate that our two spouses are quite different. Can you ask your wife if she has known any women that may have a similar propensity?
 

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I am half a foot taller than my husband and about 60 lbs heavier than him (although I have been loosing weight, and hope to get to a point where I am only 10 lbs heavier or so).

He is strong, but just because of the sheer difference in height and weight, I can throw him around if I wanted to. Doesn't bother me in the slightest. It's all about the attitude...not the actual physical attributes.

Think about it for a sec. I am a shapely, overweight woman...I have friends that are svelte and the 'ideal' weight and size. But if we are out and about, I am the one that gets more attention. Why? Because I am approachable, friendly and confident. I like sex, I like men, I like myself, and it shows. My skinnier friends, one has confidence issues and the other is a b*%^&. That shows too.

As long as you don't 'act the wimp', then I wouldn't see why you wouldn't be all man in her eyes. A bit of ****iness and confidence makes you the manliest beast out there...that's what attracted me to my husband...all 5'1" of him.
 

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You can become so much stronger without bulging and looking like the hulk. Given how slim you are today, I would suggest that you consider resistance training with high reps (several sets of 12) to get smooth muscle definition. I don't think that your wife will complain when your midsection starts to ripple and starting from where you are that will only take a few weeks. You can work your core every day so if you want faster results you can do that. Get to several sets of 40 crunches or try bicycle crunches (right elbow to left knee) for a few minutes a day. I have added Yoga which has been a great way to add core strength.

Your wife may have her reasons for requesting slim. I would be surprised if slim and taunt as a spring isn't better yet.
 

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Lifting weights does not a jacked-up-bodybuilder make.

There are several guys on the boards, that I know have trained very hard and have been in physique competitions. I can appreciate that kind of work and dedication.

I'm not one of them ...

But I have done resistance training for most of my life. Net result? At nearly 47, many people presume I'm late 30's. I can take my shirt off and feel good about it. I can do 50 push-ups and am closing back in on 10 full extension pull-ups.

No one would ever describe me as a 'big guy'.

And ... I can also say that I do GREATLY appreciate a physically strong and fit woman.

If my beloved told me that she wanted me to stop lifting weights ... well, that would be an issue. Or at the very least, the launching point for an interesting discussion about why she would want such a thing.
 

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I appreciate the responses. I think the problem that no one (except perhaps Bianca) is responding to is that my wife explicitly told me that she wanted me to NOT lift weights, and that she wanted me to be slim and fit. I actually love the way that we feel together now, it's pretty exciting - but I'm concerned that deep down although she thinks that she wants this - there's going to be some hardwired part of her that will find me to be less attractive.:scratchhead:
If your wife had the confidence to tell you she wanted you slim, I'm guessing she would have the confidence to say "You know, I changed my mind. I think I'd like you to be a little more buff."

I wouldn't worry about it unless being less strong is an issue for you. Then you need to talk to her about it.
 

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LoL! My hubby is 5'6" and 120 lbs. I usually like a manly man... Unfortunately, I outweigh him. (I'm 5'4", 150 lbs., still have some baby weight to lose) :/ BUT! I am not stronger than him... Even for his slender size he is incredibly strong, and has a well-defined body. Abs, arms, you name it. He's so damn sexy... In that martial artist, runner's build kind of way.

I don't think I would be as attracted to him physically if he looked like a little boy... LoL! Even still, if he can't out-wrestle me, or I have to "pretend" to let him win a wrestling match, I'd feel kind of awkward, to tell you the truth. Thankfully, I don't.

Hit the weights for YOU, though, and no one else. :)
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