Joined
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70 Posts
Or: I hate him for not loving me and I hate myself for loving him still
I've been trying not to txt him or communicate with him at all and was being so good about it for 5 weeks. Then this crazy hurricane Sandy came to the northeast and I was concerned about him (and also our home which I live in but we both still own) and txt'd him. And (of course) he let me down again.
We've been separated for 10 months, but he checked out emotionally almost 3 years ago. I am having an impossible time accepting that it is over since we have been married for 16 years. Its like he has completely lost touch with how I feel altogether. "On paper" his actions aren't mean -- no affair, still supporting me financially, no stealing, no shenanigans.
But he has crawled back into his shell completely. He will probably sit in his new apartment alone wthout power as the weather drops to near freezing because he has no real relationships anymore an no one to turn to. And instead of turning to me he does something so clueless.....aaarrrgggh!
He is so stupid. I don't even have time to write out clearly what I am feeling or what happened bec I only have access to wi-fi for a short time (all the cables are down). My therapist is unreachable because of the storm (power is out everywhere) and I was feeling so bad I just had to tell somebody.
I can't save him from himself. Why is he so blind to all the good we had together that he'd rather be so isolated and alone? And if he does, why would I want to be with someone like that?
Where's the guy I married? Who kidnapped him and replaced him with this lump who's entire life purpose seems to be to succeed at work and live in denial about what a shambles his personal life is in.
I think I should be filing for divorce but I am really not a quitter. But this is just ridiculous.
Thanks for listening.
I've been trying not to txt him or communicate with him at all and was being so good about it for 5 weeks. Then this crazy hurricane Sandy came to the northeast and I was concerned about him (and also our home which I live in but we both still own) and txt'd him. And (of course) he let me down again.
We've been separated for 10 months, but he checked out emotionally almost 3 years ago. I am having an impossible time accepting that it is over since we have been married for 16 years. Its like he has completely lost touch with how I feel altogether. "On paper" his actions aren't mean -- no affair, still supporting me financially, no stealing, no shenanigans.
But he has crawled back into his shell completely. He will probably sit in his new apartment alone wthout power as the weather drops to near freezing because he has no real relationships anymore an no one to turn to. And instead of turning to me he does something so clueless.....aaarrrgggh!
He is so stupid. I don't even have time to write out clearly what I am feeling or what happened bec I only have access to wi-fi for a short time (all the cables are down). My therapist is unreachable because of the storm (power is out everywhere) and I was feeling so bad I just had to tell somebody.
I can't save him from himself. Why is he so blind to all the good we had together that he'd rather be so isolated and alone? And if he does, why would I want to be with someone like that?
Where's the guy I married? Who kidnapped him and replaced him with this lump who's entire life purpose seems to be to succeed at work and live in denial about what a shambles his personal life is in.
I think I should be filing for divorce but I am really not a quitter. But this is just ridiculous.
Thanks for listening.