Many of those people belong in here and don't know it. It's actually kind of sad.
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If I had been cheated on.......
I miss those threads.......
You know the ones when random posters come along and tell us poor old soles on CWI exactly what they would do if they were cheated on or exactly what we should be doing now!
Haven't had one of them in a long time!
I also love the way some people in the other forums talk about this place like its a lepper colony!
I'm not going in there.......it's scary....... But It'll never happen to me anyway!...... (Rolls eyes! )
I'm feeling mischievous today people!
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You know the ones when random posters come along and tell us poor old soles on CWI exactly what they would do if they were cheated on or exactly what we should be doing now!
Haven't had one of them in a long time!
I also love the way some people in the other forums talk about this place like its a lepper colony!
I'm not going in there.......it's scary....... But It'll never happen to me anyway!...... (Rolls eyes! )
I'm feeling mischievous today people!
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The thing that bothers me is the way people act around you (like a lepper) when you disclose that you are being cheated on. I'm tired of being treated with kid gloves. I get the feeling that most people don't want to be reminded that it can happen to anybody. It's kind of like using the word cancer back in the 50's like you could catch it by saying it.
I think much of the sensitivity we feel after being betrayed is self-imposed. It took me a couple of years to reach that point--to where I could face people again.
I'm sorry you felt like that. I never have really. H cheated, Ive got nothing to be ashamed about, now him on the other hand ....I think much of the sensitivity we feel after being betrayed is self-imposed. It took me a couple of years to reach that point--to where I could face people again.
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:lol::rofl::lol:I'm sorry you felt like that. I never have really. H cheated, Ive got nothing to be ashamed about, now him on the other hand ....
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You make it sound like facing poeple is a good thing?I think much of the sensitivity we feel after being betrayed is self-imposed. It took me a couple of years to reach that point--to where I could face people again.
Personally, I find it hard to believe that there are people who have never been cheated on EVER (please, those of you who haven't, don't start chiming in here).
For instance, I have not experienced cheating in my marriage! Yay me! But I've only been married 14 months, and I'm 42 years old. So I've got 25 years of prior dating/relationship experience, and unfortunately, there was lots of cheating, and it sucks!
What is also unfortunate, is that I've had to cope with betrayal in my marriage, and the similarity to the emotions felt when being cheated on is quite frightening.
For instance, I have not experienced cheating in my marriage! Yay me! But I've only been married 14 months, and I'm 42 years old. So I've got 25 years of prior dating/relationship experience, and unfortunately, there was lots of cheating, and it sucks!
What is also unfortunate, is that I've had to cope with betrayal in my marriage, and the similarity to the emotions felt when being cheated on is quite frightening.
I think this is the money quote. When I told my friends I have to have a biopsy, I could see them all doing mental breast exams in their heads before they got back to the job of listening with sympathy.I get the feeling that most people don't want to be reminded that it can happen to anybody. It's kind of like using the word cancer back in the 50's like you could catch it by saying it.
I think hearing that a family member or friend has been cheated on makes you sift through all those little things that made you wonder a bit & it makes you uneasy.
There was a thread in the General Relationship Section on what someone's reaction would be if they were to walk in on their wife. I got a good chuckle seeing all the passionate replies describing murder and double murder.
Honestly, I don't know how i would feel if my wife cheated on me. Probably hurt and disappointed.
Honestly, I don't know how i would feel if my wife cheated on me. Probably hurt and disappointed.
That comes after the shock.Probably hurt and disappointed.
...I'm sure I'd probably run out of the room and take off somewhere...sit for awhile, numb. Then cry...then, who knows?
Just my opinion... I don't think that is why they suggest it's scary.. I've seen some really really nasty posts on this section. I'm thinking of Elly and Tears threads in particular ( i know they have since been moved) I wanted so much to post to Elly but never did because of the anger and arguing on that thread.I also love the way some people in the other forums talk about this place like its a lepper colony!
I'm not going in there.......it's scary....... But It'll never happen to me anyway!...... (Rolls eyes! )
Having said that...there IS more hurt and pain on this board than anywhere else on TAM. That kind of emotion is difficult for many people to deal with. I often switch off my PC because I'm crying at the words on my screen ( how lucky I am to be able to that ah!).
I come into CWI because i have a very dear friend who has posted on this board from time to time. She knows I read her posts...but i don't comment because i haven't (as far as i know) been cheated on.
So according to many posts I read on here.... I have nothing to offer of any worth and might just get my head bitten off if I do offer my POV..
The last thing I want is some badly written post (by me) attempting to offer support or compassion to cause any BS any more angst in their day than they already deal with.
So I mostly lurk and read and learn... and sometimes i cry.
Waiwera: don't ever feel like you can't post anywhere, I appreciated ALL the posts and comments I received when I was coping with my Hs A. It's true It is difficult to understand what a BS is going through, I honestly wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, but just because one has t been in that situation it doesn't mean one can't empathise or give constructive points of view.
When I was posting about my Hs affair last year I had all sorts thrown at me. I was told I was enabling him, I was subjecting my kids to an open marriage, my H was a POS,
I was a bad mother, I was a doormat etc etc! But hey, one has to take the rough with the smooth and its just best to ignore the posts that hurt us, but when your in dire emotional straits, it can hurt and I'm not as sensitive as some here.
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When I was posting about my Hs affair last year I had all sorts thrown at me. I was told I was enabling him, I was subjecting my kids to an open marriage, my H was a POS,
I was a bad mother, I was a doormat etc etc! But hey, one has to take the rough with the smooth and its just best to ignore the posts that hurt us, but when your in dire emotional straits, it can hurt and I'm not as sensitive as some here.
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What I'm getting at is sometimes you feel like you are the subject of a lot of gossip and that people purposely avoid you. Or even worse that people bump into you, so that they can "get the scoop". Perhaps this only happens in a small town.I'm sorry you felt like that. I never have really. H cheated, Ive got nothing to be ashamed about, now him on the other hand ....
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