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I'm a level-headed, mature, just-short-of-21 year old female in a very committed relationship. I've never been a person to play around, I'm not a party-goer, nor a drinker, and I don't like to play games when it comes to life. I've been with my current boyfriend for about 18 months now and we've been living together for about that long. I'm a full-time college student and have a part-time job to help pay for bills and he has a full-time job that pays for everything I can't and then some. I've always had a very close relationship with my parents as well, and they pay for my college tuition and help with anything important that comes up (car problems, doctor bills, etc) and will continue to do so while I'm in college and keeping my grades up.
And as aforementioned, we're a very committed couple. He's not only my boyfriend but nowadays my best friend, my companion in everything I do and a supporter of all my interests, and I'm the same for him. Literally all our time outside of work/classes is spent together either in the outdoors, in front of a tv, grocery shopping, at every attraction we can afford the gas to get too, just about everything. I wouldn't call it obsession (I don't have a panic attack whenever he leaves for work XD) but time spent together is always time well spent. He doesn't have too many friends outside of the people he works with and my friends are all through college, and if I ever hang out with them, he's usually around too. So no, there's nothing like uncertainty or going behind each others backs or any of that nonsense.
In honesty, I think we're prettymuch the standard definition of what a happy couple should/would be. Along with that, we're financially stable, we both love and regularly visit each others families and have their support with everything, and we've already done "married couple" things for a long time. We even have a shared bank account so that when I'm out of college, we'll have enough for a down payment on a house. And we're open to each other about everything, from complex topics such as sex and simple topics such as which goldfish do you think would look cuter in our fishtank. There's nothing we don't talk about and both of us are very supportive of the idea of talking things outs and reasoning rather than arguing or fighting.
That being said, it's already well established that we're going to be together as long as life and health permits. Even our friends and family are very aware of that. But my question for you all is, when is an appropriate time to get engaged? We've been together for about 18 months, I'm just short of 21 years old, he's just short of 24 years old. I'm a college student and, if I stay at my current college for my Masters as I plan to do, I'll be in college for about 3.5 more years. Obviously, marriage, kids, a house, and all that good stuff won't happen until I'm done with college and can settle into a career. But.... when is a good time to get engaged?
I'm just trying to mentally balance the idea. I know my boyfriend and I are mature enough and committed, and I know I'd have the support of everyone I know and love. I also have nothing against a long engagement and even when we get married, there's not going to be a wedding. Just a casual stop at the courthouse and then a personal party with family so it's not like I'd be in a rush to try to plan a wedding. But at the same time, I guess this is one of the first things in my life where I almost wonder if I'll be "judged" by others for it. Nowadays, early 20s doesn't seem too young at all to commit to someone, but I still have to wonder if my parents might think "Hmmmmm.... we support her but she's still sort of young....." or if my friends (most of which are my age, college students, and are also all level-headed but don't have partners themselves) are going to think I'm getting myself into something big too soon. Again, I know I'd have their support, but I just feel like I'm on the borderline age of them questioning whether or not we're making the right decision. Or if others might think 18 months just isn't long enough to know each other before committing or something similar.
As for when I personally want to get engaged.... whenever. I feel like I've already been married to this guy for over a year anyway so anytime would be nice. We've even jokingly been "engaged to be engaged" for about a year. It's just getting to a point where we're so close in everything they don't that it doesn't feel right or mature when I'm talking to someone and mention my "boyfriend." I'd like to call him what he is, the man I will marry one day, my fiance.
Now all this being said, my boyfriend and I joke about getting engaged all the time, but I'm leaving him with the final decision about when, where, and how to propose. He's kind of a fruitcake about those sorts of things though, meaning I'll probably never be able to predict when it's going to happen anyway. Might happen tomorrow, might happen several years from now, that's all up to him. So everything above is hypothetically speaking, I'd just like your opinions.
And as aforementioned, we're a very committed couple. He's not only my boyfriend but nowadays my best friend, my companion in everything I do and a supporter of all my interests, and I'm the same for him. Literally all our time outside of work/classes is spent together either in the outdoors, in front of a tv, grocery shopping, at every attraction we can afford the gas to get too, just about everything. I wouldn't call it obsession (I don't have a panic attack whenever he leaves for work XD) but time spent together is always time well spent. He doesn't have too many friends outside of the people he works with and my friends are all through college, and if I ever hang out with them, he's usually around too. So no, there's nothing like uncertainty or going behind each others backs or any of that nonsense.
In honesty, I think we're prettymuch the standard definition of what a happy couple should/would be. Along with that, we're financially stable, we both love and regularly visit each others families and have their support with everything, and we've already done "married couple" things for a long time. We even have a shared bank account so that when I'm out of college, we'll have enough for a down payment on a house. And we're open to each other about everything, from complex topics such as sex and simple topics such as which goldfish do you think would look cuter in our fishtank. There's nothing we don't talk about and both of us are very supportive of the idea of talking things outs and reasoning rather than arguing or fighting.
That being said, it's already well established that we're going to be together as long as life and health permits. Even our friends and family are very aware of that. But my question for you all is, when is an appropriate time to get engaged? We've been together for about 18 months, I'm just short of 21 years old, he's just short of 24 years old. I'm a college student and, if I stay at my current college for my Masters as I plan to do, I'll be in college for about 3.5 more years. Obviously, marriage, kids, a house, and all that good stuff won't happen until I'm done with college and can settle into a career. But.... when is a good time to get engaged?
I'm just trying to mentally balance the idea. I know my boyfriend and I are mature enough and committed, and I know I'd have the support of everyone I know and love. I also have nothing against a long engagement and even when we get married, there's not going to be a wedding. Just a casual stop at the courthouse and then a personal party with family so it's not like I'd be in a rush to try to plan a wedding. But at the same time, I guess this is one of the first things in my life where I almost wonder if I'll be "judged" by others for it. Nowadays, early 20s doesn't seem too young at all to commit to someone, but I still have to wonder if my parents might think "Hmmmmm.... we support her but she's still sort of young....." or if my friends (most of which are my age, college students, and are also all level-headed but don't have partners themselves) are going to think I'm getting myself into something big too soon. Again, I know I'd have their support, but I just feel like I'm on the borderline age of them questioning whether or not we're making the right decision. Or if others might think 18 months just isn't long enough to know each other before committing or something similar.
As for when I personally want to get engaged.... whenever. I feel like I've already been married to this guy for over a year anyway so anytime would be nice. We've even jokingly been "engaged to be engaged" for about a year. It's just getting to a point where we're so close in everything they don't that it doesn't feel right or mature when I'm talking to someone and mention my "boyfriend." I'd like to call him what he is, the man I will marry one day, my fiance.
Now all this being said, my boyfriend and I joke about getting engaged all the time, but I'm leaving him with the final decision about when, where, and how to propose. He's kind of a fruitcake about those sorts of things though, meaning I'll probably never be able to predict when it's going to happen anyway. Might happen tomorrow, might happen several years from now, that's all up to him. So everything above is hypothetically speaking, I'd just like your opinions.
