So your husband works long hours at a labor intensive job, and you stay home and take care of the kids. And you want him to do more around the house?
Does the housework really need to get done? Sometimes when you're stretched thin with special needs kids and your H working extended hours to support the family, less important things like housework need to take a backseat, or can at least wait until the weekend.
Nagging your husband when he gets home after a long day at work is just going to make things worse. It'd probably be better if you two had a talk and decided what household responsibilities he should be responsible for, ie taking out the trash, and if it doesn't get done then don't do it for him. Let it pile up and he'll figure it out.
Work on healthy boundaries, solutions, and attitudes that will reduce the amount of resentment you have.
Does the housework really need to get done? Sometimes when you're stretched thin with special needs kids and your H working extended hours to support the family, less important things like housework need to take a backseat, or can at least wait until the weekend.
Nagging your husband when he gets home after a long day at work is just going to make things worse. It'd probably be better if you two had a talk and decided what household responsibilities he should be responsible for, ie taking out the trash, and if it doesn't get done then don't do it for him. Let it pile up and he'll figure it out.
Work on healthy boundaries, solutions, and attitudes that will reduce the amount of resentment you have.