My husband started working long hours 4 years ago with a lobor intensive work and with that he became lethargic, grumpy, withdrawn, emotionally unavailable, and began drinking more. I was sympathetic and let him nap and do less house work because I was capable of doing it. Since ive had my son two years ago he has been extremely high need aland recieves early intervention services, been diagnosed with a rare genetic disorder etc as well as my daughter being high need as well. I now am exhausted and need more help with the housework as well as more emotional support such as conversations with me. We went to counseling and was told that he should go to bed earlier. He does now but he still forgets to help with many things and says I'm petty and all the things I complain about are bull****. He is too tired to help or play with the kids. That I need to give more because he cant function well due to his fatigue. I ask him to do simple things such as bring the trash to the garbage, unload dishwasher, save the food, vacuum the floor no more than two things a night. He forgets to do them 80 percent of the time. When I am feeling unwell I ask him to do more and he says no he has to go to bed. Or when imnsick he is too tired to help me with dinner or the kids. He does not nap anymore but he still does not talk or play with the kids or me. If he does give the kids a bath he is on his phone while in there. He is completely disconnected from us. So much so that he does not hear me reaching out and saying I'm overwhelmed and I need help. I went on strike and he retaliated so he said he would help if I started doing his things again and it took two days for him to return to usual. I had my breaking point because I had a tummy tuck because I'm doing the 180 and he did not clean or talk to me all day and then I had to get up and clean the house in my condition. I'm completely tired of having an unreliable, disconnected husband. Ive done everything he has suggested that would make things better and I'm at a loss. I truly need more help I'm so overextended with the high need children and running the housework and he is nonreponsive. It seems as if I need to accept this even though I'm truly unhappy for us to stay together. I have no family or close friends here because we move so much for his job and I don't have the time with all the doctor's appointments and housework plus I'm in school. Any suggestions? Please don't be cruel because I am so very emotional right now.