[helicopterjump]

Therapy takes time, and a willingness to be brutally honest. Focus on your mental health, and your children. Be supportive of your wife, but not to the point of being walked on.

Do you have friends or family that can be your support network? You mentioned your wife drinking. If she overdoes it, you really should have somewhere safe for your kids to go. Your wife is going through a lot, as are you, and the kids don't need to be caught in the middle. Don't make a big deal of it. No "Mommy is drunk again" comments. Just have a bag packed, and take them somewhere safe. (Let your wife know when she is sober that is the plan, and it is not negotiable.) Too much alcohol with intense emotions can go very wrong, very quickly.

I hope you find the best solution possible, for all of you.

All of my family lives elsewhere. I moved here for work. If I lose her, I also lose her family and that whole support system.

 

[helicopterjump]

Do you know is name or not?

I do.

 

[SunCMars]

@helicopterjump



4- do not sleep with your wife - move forward - she might carry STD

A little off topic:

I just heard on Cable News, that a new and nasty strain of Gonorrhea has emerged.

I suspect it recently traveled across our Southern border in the middle of the night.

 

[BigDaddyNY]

I’ve talked to 3 sexual assault hotlines and 1 therapist. I guess I could talk to one more.

And they all agree that it is a good idea for the victim to continue working with her rapist?

 

[helicopterjump]

And they all agree that it is a good idea for the victim to continue working with her rapist?

The therapist thinks it’s a terrible idea but says it has to be her choice. He says my forcing a change or public embarrassment could be even more damaging.

 

[blackclover3]

The therapist thinks it’s a terrible idea but says it has to be her choice. He says my forcing a change or public embarrassment could be even more damaging.

The crazy thing is,,,, it is not about your wife anymore,,,, it is about you as well... Wtf,,,, how on earth would you allow a guy who rapid or slept with your wife to be next to her at work or not?????

F**** therapist, I would be the one kicking his ass before I drag him myself to the police....

What this world is coming to??? For real?

F everyone's feeling, you got raped as much as your wife.

 

[jsmart]

I’m with Blackclover . What about Helicopter-jump’s needs? Are you supposed to have your need for peace ignored. One of them needs to leave that job. Especially now that she “kissed” 2 other dudes. F the professionals. Daddy needs peace too. If she can’t see it, then there’s nothing for you to work with.

 

[MegaTbone]

Yes. Let’s just say he’s been significantly spooked by both me and my wife.

Obviously not spooked enough to f*****g leave! You're sure of the man that assaulted her? Was it sexual assault or just assault? I'm a bit confused on all this and dont mean to sound insensitive. So

• 4 years ago you had knocked around the idea of a 3some. Then it got dropped.
• recently you bring up the idea again, also the hot wife fantasy. She doent bite.
• then she is assaulted and has a close family member pass?
• then you find out shes been going behind your back with texting, flirting and making out with 2 men shes confirmed and admitted to, with no remorse. Was the assault of your wife committed by one of those men?
• then you also find out the identity of the person that assaulted your wife? Just physical assault or sexual assault?
• no actual police report filed against the person committing the assaulted?
• the person at her work is just one of the men that she had texted, flirted with and also made out with(kissing?)?
• for some reason not stated, the Company's HR has not been notified of the incident between her and the coworker?
• for whatever reason, you feel comfortable with your wife working around this man still?

Someone please let me know if this correct, wrong or even close!

 

[MegaTbone]

She didn’t name the rapist. The police can’t just go to her company and say “you employ a rapist but we don’t know who it is.”

No, but they can interview the employee as a possible person of interest in the investigation of the assault on your wife.

 

[helicopterjump]

Obviously not spooked enough to f*****g leave! You're sure of the man that assaulted her? Was it sexual assault or just assault? I'm a bit confused on all this and dont mean to sound insensitive. So

• 4 years ago you had knocked around the idea of a 3some. Then it got dropped.
• recently you bring up the idea again, also the hot wife fantasy. She doent bite.
• then she is assaulted and has a close family member pass?
• then you find out shes been going behind your back with texting, flirting and making out with 2 men shes confirmed and admitted to, with no remorse. Was the assault of your wife committed by one of those men?
• then you also find out the identity of the person that assaulted your wife? Just physical assault or sexual assault?
• no actual police report filed against the person committing the assaulted?
• the person at her work is just one of the men that she had texted, flirted with and also made out with(kissing?)?
• for some reason not stated, the Company's HR has not been notified of the incident between her and the coworker?
• for whatever reason, you feel comfortable with your wife working around this man still?

Someone please let me know if this correct, wrong or even close!

The sexual assault was perpetrated by a totally separate man than the 2 she has been sexting with.
A police report was filed, but the name was not given. So they have the date, location, timeline of events, and even physical evidence. They just don’t have the name of the assailant.
If police don’t have the name of the assailant, they can’t notify my wife’s company.

 

[helicopterjump]

No, but they can interview the employee as a possible person of interest in the investigation of the assault on your wife.

I don’t know how they could interview him if they don’t know his name.

 

[Ragnar Ragnasson]

I don’t know how they could interview him if they don’t know his name.

You know his name and should tell them. If the rapist rapes again you may have contributed.

 

[gameopoly5]

The therapist thinks it’s a terrible idea but says it has to be her choice. He says my forcing a change or public embarrassment could be even more damaging.

If my wife had claimed to have been raped and knew his name, I can assure you I`d be doing time for what I would do to that guy by now.

 

[MegaTbone]

The sexual assault was perpetrated by a totally separate man than the 2 she has been sexting with.
A police report was filed, but the name was not given. So they have the date, location, timeline of events, and even physical evidence. They just don’t have the name of the assailant.
If police don’t have the name of the assailant, they can’t notify my wife’s company.

Didn't mean to sound insensitive to your situation! My apologies...i.was just confused and don't want to add insult to injury by any dumb comment.

 

[SunCMars]

There should be no wife swinging.
A wife swinging is that pendulum.

One swing forward, she is yours.
One swing backwards, she is some other blokes.

A wife must not be swung.
She should be gently rocked, up and down.

Soon, she will tire of this swinging emotion.
The gravity of her marriage will have her drop only in your lap.


The Typist-

 

[Rubix Cubed]

A police report was filed, but the name was not given. So they have the date, location, timeline of events, and even physical evidence. They just don’t have the name of the assailant.

Why don't they have his name? She KNEW who he was and was bothered enough to file a report.
That is sketchy and would make me question the validity of her claim.
Why would you cover for and work with your rapist?

 

[BigDaddyNY]

The therapist thinks it’s a terrible idea but says it has to be her choice. He says my forcing a change or public embarrassment could be even more damaging.

Why doesn't the therapist do their job and work with her to get her to understand it is a bad idea?

 

[Diana7]

Why don't they have his name? She KNEW who he was and was bothered enough to file a report.
That is sketchy and would make me question the validity of her claim.
Why would you cover for and work with your rapist?

Why would anyone report an assault to the police but not give the name? No point in telling them at all.

 

[Rubix Cubed]

Why would anyone report an assault to the police but not give the name? No point in telling them at all.

VERY odd.

 

[helicopterjump]

Why don't they have his name? She KNEW who he was and was bothered enough to file a report.
That is sketchy and would make me question the validity of her claim.
Why would you cover for and work with your rapist?

Not everyone wants to publicize the fact that they got raped. I have talked to two other rape victims who also did not press charges/report their attacker for that reason.