The reason you like this OM so much, is because you don't live with him. And notice, HOW closely live and love are spelled.
How often are you with the OM? 2-3 hours a day? Or is it a full work day of 7-8 hours? Well, he will only put up his best! That is why you think you love him.
How much time to you spend with your husband a day? 10 hours? 12 hours? More?
That is why you don't appreciate him so much! You are around him so much that you have grown use to him!
Please listen to me, as a former WW, don't cheat!!!
I am thankful my husband is giving me a second chance, but I am so afraid his current emotional state may change that.
But listen, I know how it feels.
The OM gets you, the OM listens to what you have to say, he acts interested, your heart skips a beat when you see him, he understands your view point, he is sexy probably.
Guess what! That is only because you put this OM ahead of your husband!
I talked with the OM instead of hubby, and it pains me to know he was at home waiting for me to walk in, to ask me about my day, and talk to me. Instead I just pushed him away.
Plus, how well do you know this man?
Every wayward entertains thoughts of running off with their AP. I know I did, and I told my hubby this. He wasn't happy when I did.
You might say "Oh, he loves me, and we plan to move to the suburbs, and he'll get an office job, and we'll start a family, and drive a nice SUV, and have a white picket fence, and best yard in the nieghborhood..."
Guess what! Those dreams will NEVER exist!
This man has already shown his moral character! He is hitching up a married woman.
Let's say your dream happens. Well he goes to work somewhere else, how do loyal will he be when you are 7 months pregnant, he is 3 months into no sex, and he sees another attractive woman at the office? I wouldn't bet money on it.
Plus, how do you even know he'll stay? There are a lot of guys that once they get it, they leave. They are smart enough to not stick around for the husband's fury. (too bad the OM for me wasn't smart enough to do that...)
Plus, you feel like you are living the perfect life. You got the family at home, a husband that provides, and a lover at work.
Well, lets subtract a husband that provides and a family, and what do you got? A sex hungry lover, that's it. No home, no apartment, no family. You lose all that. Like how that math works out?
If you still can't stay strong, imagine yourself in one year.
You will have had an affair. To men everywhere, that screams ****, and a girl you "hook up with, but never date, and NEVER ever marry." So what will your long-term plans be?
Your kids will forever see you as the reason their family, their world, came crashing down. I have watched my husband deal with this (and heard him talk about it) as he hates his father, for destroying his family and bringing his world crashing down around him. He disowned his father before he even graduated college. Want to be the mom that was disowned by her children?
Plus, what will you have? Depending on where you live, you may not get a very favorable settlement. So you'll be flat broke, and have no where to live!
Then, imagine your husband. Think of how hurt he'll be. He'll have had his heart ripped out of his chest then stomped into the ground by you. He'll be so hurt and broken, it will destroy him. Imagine him on the ground crying, angry, hurting, unable to get over the pain. And then think, "I am the sole reason he is like this. I am the reason he is experiencing so much pain and anger right now. The one person that promised to love and never betray him like this, did that betrayal, and broke that promise."
Please don't make the same mistake I did.
If I had a time machine, I would go back in time and stop myself.
If I could trade in 10 years of my life, I would do it.
Because I was the WW.
And he knows. And he triggers. And what hurts the most:
Is not his yelling, his screaming, and hurling of insults at me. I understand his anger and pain, and he has said he is sorry, and held me when I've broken down in front of him.
What hurts me the most, is when he cries. When he completely breaks down, but hides it from me. I know he is hurt and crying and in so much pain. Yet he won't let me help him.
An affair is a crime you commit. But sadly your husband pays the punishment for it.
Don't cheat. Ask every wayward spouse on this site, and they'll tell you the same thing.