I want the truth please...

5340 Views 67 Replies 33 Participants Last post by Chelle D, Oct 14, 2012

msgarcia000

Discussion Starter · Oct 10, 2012

I don't know any of you personally but I want to know....and only the truth cuz no one is watching you...

Do all men cheat?

I don't know why but lately all I've been hearing from friends, coworkers, etc that all men cheat, whether the woman finds out or not, they do. Sometimes is cuz they can't resist the temptation and there is another woman available, or whether is emotional. Is this true.
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Trying2figureitout

· #2 · Oct 10, 2012

No not all men cheat. I'm in a sexless marriage period of almost three years and I don't cheat. Watch porn sometimes. Cheat no.

Now I will say many men probably do cheat. Especially if a wife doesn't keep them interested.
Men have needs.

Numb in Ohio

· #3 · Oct 10, 2012

I don't think so..

Do all women cheat as well?

Airbus

· #4 · Oct 10, 2012

Just curious, but have you posted this before, or was that someone else?

PBear

· #5 · Oct 10, 2012

I cheated. And even I wouldn't claim "all men" cheat. Heck, I wouldn't even say "most men". And as far as I know, the percentages are running pretty even between the genders.

C

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costa200

· #6 · Oct 10, 2012

I'm a man, I don't cheat, ergo "all men cheat" is false.

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Cosmos

· #7 · Oct 10, 2012

If men cheat they are presumably cheating with a woman, and it's my guess they're not necessarily single women... I think the question might better be asked of both genders?

I'm a middle-aged woman and I've never cheated on anyone, and have no intentions of ever doing so.

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msgarcia000

Discussion Starter · #8 · Oct 10, 2012

Ok, I dont remember posting this up before but I have my doubts. Yes, you are right, there is a woman for a man that cheats but I have taken sexuality classes in my past and even the WOMAN professor stated that most men have and will cheat in their lifetime due to their increasing amount of hormones.

Women are more sentimental. We mostly cheat based on emotions...men are just, well...to put it nicely, if a good looking woman came up to a guy and offered them sex, without the SO ever finding out, c'on, I believe a man that says they wouldn't take it is lying.

I'm just a little bummed. Statistics show that at least 70% of men cheat, and that's only the ones that have admitted to doing it. Yes, women cheat also but that's the last resort when we're emotionally abused...men mostly do it for sexual satisfaction.

Starstarfish

· #9 · Oct 10, 2012

Women only cheat because they are emotionally abused?

I'm not sure what your "Sexuality" professor has her degree in, but - sorry to say, I'm calling BS on her "statistics" that 70% of men cheat and that women only cheat because of emotional abuse.

Some women cheat for the hell of it, some women cheat for revenge, some women cheat because they like the power or the thrill of the forbidden, shock of all shocks, cheat for sexual satisfaction because they are in a sexless marriage with an uninterested spouse.

So - just because one "professor" somewhere said something, that doesn't mean its automatically correct. I mean - there are history "professors" that deny the Holocaust - are they automatically right too?

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msgarcia000

Discussion Starter · #10 · Oct 10, 2012

Trying2figureitout said:
No not all men cheat. I'm in a sexless marriage period of almost three years and I don't cheat. Watch porn sometimes. Cheat no.

Now I will say many men probably do cheat. Especially if a wife doesn't keep them interested.
Men have needs.

You can be one of the few exceptions then I guess. But why do men cheat if their wife is keeping them happy? I mean, lets say a wife cooks, clean, does a good job with the kids, has sex with you every day, communicates with you....yet the man goes out there and cheat...why?

msgarcia000

Discussion Starter · #11 · Oct 10, 2012

Starstarfish she didnt say that women cheat because they're emotionally abused, she said that men have a high hormonal balance therefore, they are most likely to cheat.

Women cheating for revenge is emotional, getting satisfaction elsewhere because of their uninterested spouse is also emotional. Women are emotional beings, unless is those few exceptions that most likely have resulted from some kind of unbalance emotionally that another man has caused them in their past.

I'm not asking because 1 professor said anything, is actually almost every guy I have met, even family members, counselors, etc. In one way or another, they do think that if a couple stays in a relationship for a long time, the man most likely will cheat. As do women but since I am a woman, Im just interested in knowing about men.

costa200

· #12 · Oct 10, 2012

Starstarfish she didnt say that women cheat because they're emotionally abused, she said that men have a high hormonal balance therefore, they are most likely to cheat.

Of course. And we must surely cheat with one another in homosexual relationships since women cheat less?!

to put it nicely, if a good looking woman came up to a guy and offered them sex, without the SO ever finding out, c'on, I believe a man that says they wouldn't take it is lying.

But women usually don't do that much and there is always the risk of the spouse finding out in non hypothetical situations. Plus, i think you are underestimating the response of women to that question. Replace "a good looking woman" with some good looking TV star and you'll have women jumping on it without a doubt.

Hell, i'm betting some would even outright dump their partners just for the chance to pork Brad Pitt or equivalent.

And your professor can say what she wants. Without reliable stats her words have as much credibility as the next guy.

Women cheating for revenge is emotional, getting satisfaction elsewhere because of their uninterested spouse is also emotional. Women are emotional beings, unless is those few exceptions that most likely have resulted from some kind of unbalance emotionally that another man has caused them in their past.

Are you really saying that when a woman cheat a guy is always
to blame in some way?

You want to learn about men? Many of us absolutely dislike that kind of bullcrap. I would advise you not to ever say that in the presence of a man you're interested in.

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msgarcia000

Discussion Starter · #13 · Oct 10, 2012

costa200 in case you didn't know, there are far way more women than men. Refer to the birth statistics in your area and you will find out. Also, statistics show that men cheat wayyyy more than women do so regardless of the professor saying it or not, is a fact!...Yes, you're right, a man would get so uptight if this conversation would be brought up, why? because in some way, they know it can be true...or why would you get mad about it?

I came here looking for opinions....facts I already know about. I just wanted to be reminded that there are good men out there regardless if they see a good looking ass or not...

Dr. Rockstar

· #14 · Oct 10, 2012

msgarcia000 said:
professor stated that most men have and will cheat in their lifetime due to their increasing amount of hormones.

Not true. Men's hormones, specifically testosterone, peaks in their 20s and gradually decreases over the rest of their lifetime.

Women's hormones peak in their 40s, which is why the term "cougar" was invented.

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southbound

· #15 · Oct 10, 2012

I was married 18 years, and there were many, many periods that my sex life wasn't what i desired, but i didn't cheat. The thought never crossed my mind.

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Red Sonja

· #16 · Oct 11, 2012

msgarcia000 said:
...to put it nicely, if a good looking woman came up to a guy and offered them sex, without the SO ever finding out, c'on, I believe a man that says they wouldn't take it is lying.

This is an outrageous (and heinous) statement. The underlying assumption of this statement is that all men are “horny teenage boys” and consistently act on impulse.

IMHO, the frequency of cheating is not a gender issue but rather a character issue (assuming no mental illness is present). People cheat for many reasons … sexual gratification, self-esteem boost, boredom, etc. … however, the character flaw that allows them to cross the line and actually cheat is a sense of entitlement. In other words the attitude that says "I’m entitled to have my needs/wants met in any way I choose, regardless of the consequences to others”.

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SlowlyGettingWiser

· #17 · Oct 11, 2012

I'm a woman, and *I'M* angry!

ALL men do NOT cheat.
MOST men do NOT cheat.
Men with morals, self-respect and class do NOT cheat on their wives/SO just because 'no-one will ever find out'!
Men are not some gutless creatures unable to stand up against the onslaught of their hormones and penises.
Women are not some better/holier/worthier/saintlier creatures better able to stand up against the onslaught of their hormones and vaginas.

These ridiculously STUPID arguments are the gender-equivalent of racism. ALL black people like watermelon. ALL hispanics are illegals. ALL blondes are idiots. ALL big-breasted women are sl*ts. ALL men are horndogs who cheat.

Might I remind you that the 'counselors' who are espousing this ALL MEN CHEAT theory are people who work with couples (or individuals) who are ALREADY IN TROUBLE. Their perception is skewed because so many of their clients HAVE CHEATED, or WANT TO CHEAT. They are not seeing the billions of men who are not cheating...because THOSE MEN are not in need of a counselor! So the counselors are jaded/biased by virtue of their clientele.

It's like talking to cops or DAs, they see the dregs of society day in and day out, OF COURSE they're jaded!

I thought multi-culturalism was supposed to help rid us of these STUPID, racist, sexist stereotypes.

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Wazza

· #18 · Oct 11, 2012

msgarcia000 said:
Women are more sentimental. We mostly cheat based on emotions...men are just, well...to put it nicely, if a good looking woman came up to a guy and offered them sex, without the SO ever finding out, c'on, I believe a man that says they wouldn't take it is lying

I had that exact opportunity. I said no. I am not lying. It has happened more than once.

I know women who had the same opportunity and said yes.

Therefore I must respectfully disagree with you.
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Cosmos

· #19 · Oct 11, 2012

I came here looking for opinions....facts I already know about. I just wanted to be reminded that there are good men out there regardless if they see a good looking ass or not...

It's my guess that you'll believe those 'facts' of yours, no matter what any of us tell you...

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Dr. Rockstar

· #20 · Oct 11, 2012

With all this talk, I decided to do a little quick and dirty research. Here are three different websites that showed some signs of validity in their research but came up with dramatically different numbers. But these three sites also said that accurate numbers are difficult to come by because admitting infidelity is such a taboo subject.

This link is from TruthAboutDeception.com, and while it does not mention a lot of concrete statistics, it does have a ton of references and appears well researched.

This link is from The Kinsey Institute, but it discusses infidility on a global canvas, and it does not explicitly mention trends in the US.

This is from a site called, appropriately enough, InfidelityFacts.com. It is a bare bones site that does not cite specific reference, but it mentions that their research includes, but is not limited to "university research, psychological surveys, mass public polls and the recordings of marriage and family counselors." And it appears to me that this site reflects a number of others which have similar--but also uncited--statistics.

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