[Mr.Lee_88]

My wife and I got into a major argument a week ago and she still doesn't want to talk. It was about me not opening up to her and she feels like I ignore her and shut her out. She thinks I do it intentionally which is not the case. I just have hard time opening up to people. When growing up, no one really cared about how I felt about things. So it kinda stuck with me my entire life. Plus I have a fear of being wrong. So much that I didn't even raise my hand to answer questions at school. She said she was tired of it and hasn't talked to me at all. She has also been very distant which makes me feel that she has found someone else. If so, why hasn't she called things off yet? I would rather for someone to leave than to cheat. I hear people like me never last in a relationship. It might be true because this is my second marriage...

 

[This is me]

I would suggest MC and IC to show her that you want to fix you and the marriage. If she is not open to getting professional help for an ill marriage, then I would suspect more is going on.

If she has emotionally detached, there may be another in an EA or PA. Do not confront her about it until you have concrete information, and even then check in with the people here at TAM for advice. Do not react from emotion to mitigate the damage.

Is she in her 30's of 40's, maybe early 50's? Could this be a MLC which has lead to grass being greenier thinking? If so, this is when they come out blaming the spouse for all their problems, which is really their internal depression.

Be strong and stay low key.

 

[Toffer]

Investigate. Quietly. NOW

 

[See_Listen_Love]

URGENT

Start reading No More Mr. Nice Guy.

This applies for whether or not there is somebody else. You need to do quick some of the advices in the book to get yourself together, and on track to a better future.

Succes!

 

[Liam]

You say you have difficulty opening up, but you have just done that in your post Have you told her all this?

As for you thinking she might have found someone else, that could well be your insecurities talking. The only way to find out is to talk to her, and that is going to mean you have to open up. If it's something you find incredibly difficult, counseling might be the best course of action.

 

[Mavash.]

I'm married to a man like you and it was HARD to deal with. Down to a T - if you hadn't said second marriage I'd think you were him. It took MC to get him to start opening up. I HIGHLY suggest counseling for you to deal with these issues so you won't keep having this problem. Women for the most part want intimacy. People do care about you the problem is YOU don't care about you.

Now here's the bad news. It does sound like there could be someone else on the horizon. Start quietly investigating. No matter how mad I got at my husband for shutting me out I could never hold out for a week unless I had a backup.

Sorry.

 

[Mr.Lee_88]

I'm married to a man like you and it was HARD to deal with. Down to a T - if you hadn't said second marriage I'd think you were him. It took MC to get him to start opening up. I HIGHLY suggest counseling for you to deal with these issues so you won't keep having this problem. Women for the most part want intimacy. People do care about you the problem is YOU don't care about you.

Now here's the bad news. It does sound like there could be someone else on the horizon. Start quietly investigating. No matter how mad I got at my husband for shutting me out I could never hold out for a week unless I had a backup.

Sorry.

Thank you. Investigating has turned up nothing out of the usuall. She did complain about not being able to live a college life which was a red flag. It's one of the reasons why my first marriage ended. She forgave me for not opening up, but I still think she's angry about it. I just fear that history might repeat itself. If so, I'm never getting married again. Thank you for the advice. Thank you all.
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[Machiavelli]

How did you investigate? What did you do, specifically. It usually takes a while.