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Start to investigate your wife's activities quietly

Get the cell phone records for as far back as you can. Look for alot of texts/calls to a number or two that you don't recognize

Get a keylogger on your PC and buy some voice activated recorders and place one under the front seat of her car (cheaters feel comfortable talking to their lovers while in the safety of their cars)

Your story doesn't sound too promising though. I'd be surprised if she wasn't at least in an emotional affair or two. The visits to the house are really troubling me though
 
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