A few pointers.
Now she is aware your onto her she will take this underground.
She is pushing back as she knows you dont have enough hard evidence.
Get a VAR ( voice activated recorder) and place it in her car, strap it firmly so it does not shake lose.
Who's name is the phone in, If you have access to her account get hold of the logs from the mobile company.
Do you know the OM's wife , if not find out where they live and her contact number , you will need this later on.
For now you snoop, dig , pry, be calm, don't reveal your hand and bluff your way though the days ahead . Say nothing to your wife of the affair or discuss your relationship but get firmer evidence of the affair.
Read the newbie thread thread below:
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I tried not to mention nothing but it was really difficult.
Actually I told her so she stop it before it goes further and if I find hard evidence I don't know if I can cope.