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I've been married to my wife for over 20 years and we have two grown kids. Things have been rough for the past 10 years but especially the past year or so. for me the biggest problem is I don't think we spend enough time together and I can't express myself to her at all about anything. Due to a bunch of different business and personal situations I'm finding myself alone every single day. It is starting to make me crazy. I suffer what I would call a panic attack almost everyday. I told my wife this and we are now in a massive fight. I feel like we rarely really communicate. She is either on a vicious attack or she's trying to cut me off. She has recently said and done things that I'm going to have a very very hard time getting over. I'm so alone and I don't know what to do. I can't imagine ending my marriage but I'm not sure there's any other option.
 

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It hurts most when someone who we love says hurtful things.

This is where you've got to remind yourself that what's being said isn't true, and the other person may be uncaring and spiteful for their own reasons you'll never know.

Ignore the comments. Just say hey enough is enough, be quiet.

The conversation doesn't have to continue.

Pls take a deep breath, remember you're a person of value.

Start from there.
 

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I would suggest you do some digging to see if she is screwing around. Please dont tell me how she isnt like that, would never do that, doesnt have time for that. Because that's false. A quick read here in the infidelity section would prove how false it can be. A lot of times a cheater is abusive to their betrayed spouse because they are angry that the spouse is keeping them from being with their affair partner. (AP) If she IS cheating, then that is either your ticket out, OR she needs to end all contact with the AP so you two can work on the marriage.

Has your wife always been a bully like this? You sound very passive, that is a bad combination for any couple. Have you ever suggested marriage counseling to her? That could be a place to start... tell her how you are feeling, how bad it has gotten for you, and ask her to attend MC with you. See how she reacts, that will be a good indication if there is any hope to work this out. Im sorry you are here.
 

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I've been married to my wife for over 20 years and we have two grown kids. Things have been rough for the past 10 years but especially the past year or so. for me the biggest problem is I don't think we spend enough time together and I can't express myself to her at all about anything. Due to a bunch of different business and personal situations I'm finding myself alone every single day. It is starting to make me crazy. I suffer what I would call a panic attack almost everyday. I told my wife this and we are now in a massive fight. I feel like we rarely really communicate. She is either on a vicious attack or she's trying to cut me off. She has recently said and done things that I'm going to have a very very hard time getting over. I'm so alone and I don't know what to do. I can't imagine ending my marriage but I'm not sure there's any other option.
And what does your counsellor have to say about this? What techniques have they provided for dealing with panic attacks?

And if you don't have a counsellor, now would be a pretty good time to get one. :)
 
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