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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My husband, will not perform oral on me. He's never even tried. He said it's due to his first girlfriend, starting her period and him going down on her 'without knowing.' And then I asked him, if he could just please do it, just once! I just want to know what it feels like, because he's been the only person i've been with sexually and he told me no because then i'll just keep wanting it. Sigh... I stopped giving him oral for about a year now to change his mind and he hasn't. I don't know what else to do.. ideas men/ladies? :confused:
 

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I say this tongue in cheek, but he might just find it funny enough to appreciate the effort.

maybe a nice juicy pork chop in the right place might get his attention. I know if I was in bed and started smelling some nice warm tasty pork chop under the covers I would investigate further.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I've tried, we went to the sex store and got some appealing ediable lubes to make things taste better(supposed to be for him but it can be used vise versa) and nope. Like at the beginning of our relationship he would finger me, then we started having sex, then he never fingered me again until only recently when I started complaining. It's getting annoying, he shouldn't be getting all the pleasure. He tells me it takes me too long to get off, he doesn't try hard enough.
 

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those sex store flavors are for rookies. real men like pork chops.

and thats just an excuse. as long as it's clean it does not need flavoring.......

if it's bald grow hair, if it's hairy shave it....see what response you get.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I do not like hair anywhere besides my head, so i'm going to keep it bald. All i'm saying is that i've tried everything and he just won't budge. When we first got together, I didn't believe him that he's only done it once and he texted all his ex's and said, "I didn't eat you out right?" And all of them texted back saying no. So I guess maybe he just doesn't like doing it. Sigh.
 

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Perhaps you can reassure him that you are concerned about his comfort and would not knowingly let that happen to him?

I'm not a lady and don't have first-hand experience, but I have a hard time believing that his ex-gf's period just snuck up on her with zero warning. It seems more likely she just chose to risk the timing, with your husband paying the price.

Tell him you would not do that to him.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
I'm not a lady and don't have first-hand experience, but I have a hard time believing that his ex-gf's period just snuck up on her with zero warning. It seems more likely she just chose to risk the timing, with your husband paying the price.

Tell him you would not do that to him.

That's what i'm saying because.. I know when my period is coming like 3 days ahead of time lol. I think she just chose to risk it too, or knew she was on it, and was like hey.. lick it anyways. Who knows. But, he should not punish me for her actions and wrong doings.
 

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I don't know what else to do.. ideas men
I had what your husband had happen once or twice, it was not intentional on my wife's part. She was not as regular as you seem to be.

If you do oral on him, stop. Tell him you are just not into it right now. See what he says. I can not fathom not doing oral on a lady that wants it like yourself. It would be so much fun just for him to watch your reaction.

Is there anything he likes to do in bed that you have not done for him? Perhaps it is time for some trading favors. If he is unsure how preform oral on a woman which is likely. Then tell him you want to learn together. Good oral sex is a art, and takes time to learn, he maybe lazy and concerned he does not know how to properly do it.

Make sure you are very clean, a nice bath and flavored lubes and request it for your birthday.
 

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I don't believe the period/girlfriend story was all that traumatic for him and he is using it as way out.

He does not like doing it for other reasons. There are some guys that just won't do it. You have one of those guys.

It's not you, it's him, so please do not take it personally.
 

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He obviously has an issue with it. Otherwise he would have done it with you by now. It's too bad as he's really missing out on one of life's great pleasures.

Asking him for it is obviously not working. It seems to me at this point you either have to learn to live without it or be prepared to issue him an ultimatum and stick to it.
 

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I don't believe the period/girlfriend story was all that traumatic for him and he is using it as way out.

He does not like doing it for other reasons. There are some guys that just won't do it. You have one of those guys.

It's not you, it's him, so please do not take it personally.
dead on with this one.....

but she might also want to try growing some hair down there.....

if it's not working she could try something different
 

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That's what i'm saying because.. I know when my period is coming like 3 days ahead of time lol. I think she just chose to risk it too, or knew she was on it, and was like hey.. lick it anyways. Who knows. But, he should not punish me for her actions and wrong doings.
Does he know that's how women work? Could he think that a spontaneous onset of menstrual flow is the norm?

What if you flat-out told him "Look, she most likely knew it was coming, wanted to get off, and was not too worried about you. Women can tell when it's likely to start and I would not put you in that situation"?
 

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Like at the beginning of our relationship he would finger me, then we started having sex, then he never fingered me again until only recently when I started complaining. It's getting annoying, he shouldn't be getting all the pleasure. He tells me it takes me too long to get off, he doesn't try hard enough.
It seems to be your husband has an aversion to vaginas. He won't give oral and doesn't want to manually stimulate you either. Hmm

So you're just supposed to be hot, wet and ready just like that?

I'm not saying his experience with his ex wasn't traumatic, because I'm thinking it kind of was.

In the beginning of my relationship with my husband he dreaded having to finish me off manually after sex. I suppose it's the pride thing of not bringing me to orgasm. It is what it is. No one's fault...but practice makes perfect and like mentioned above it's an art. He learned my hot spots and most times it only takes mere minutes (sigh...I miss the old days. LOL)

Whether it is trauma or self-esteem, I think you guys need to talk about it because your needs need to be addressed as well.
 

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I am a man that could go dining at the "Y" 3 times a day and 5 times on Sunday if I were able. I love doing this for my wife. The thrill for me is really about seeing her receive pleasure. I do not understand how any man could NOT want to do this. The fact that he just recently began using manual stimulation says to me that he is not really that concerned with your pleasure. Its not just a traumatic experience thing. He is using that as a rationalization for his selfishness. And that's what it is...selfish. Couple of things:

  • Keep up with the "no BJ" thing. The next time you give him oral sex needs to be AFTER he has given you oral sex.
  • If he fails to provide you manual stimulation, don't touch him with your hands at all.
  • In short, just be reciprocal with him. Don't do any favors for him until he shows some initiative on his part.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Thanks guys for all your opinions! I haven't given him a blow job probably since Dec of 2011 for these reasons. He's always like, "I think you should use your mouth." And I just reply with, "I think you should use your tongue." He won't do it. I do everything else he wants me to do. Just no more BJs! I used to do it once a day and got nothing in return. I just want to know
What it feels like... Just once ! I guess this is a hard request, and he always teases me too, he will be like "take your pants off so I can eat you out." I do this and he says, "I'm just joking." Sigh!
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I LOVE doing this for my wife. I have to ask you a personal question and not sure if this has been asked yet but how is your hygene down there? I did see that you said you were bald which helps alot, but if there are some smells down there it could be a dealbreaker for me.

I do love the normal smell of a woman but if things are going on down there, not so much.

Bottom line, with my wife and I, I would almost rather eat her then get a bj from her, I love it so much. I am 30 years old and my wife is the first woman I did that too by the way.
 

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... and he always teases me too, he will be like "take your pants off so I can eat you out." I do this and he says, "I'm just joking." Sigh!
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Seriously? Does he not see how much of a jackazz this makes him?
 
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