Talk About Marriage banner
Status
Not open for further replies.
1 - 20 of 119 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
29 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Ok so I have been with my wife for 7 years. I have recently found out that she has lied about her past to me. Why? Damn it, I spilled my guts out to her about my past and she lied to me about hers 4 years ago. I even accepted the fact that she enjoyed her past lovers large ****s but to not tell me all the truth is a game changer. Recently found out she was a huge **** with her past and I have asked her to perform things with me that she said she had never done and would not do with me but I found pics, and videos that proved tougher wise. I confronted her hand she said she would do better. But as to date (3 months ago nothing has changed). WTF! I need help? Why did she lie I told her I would not and have to judged her I just want to experience with her all possibly sexual fun after all she is my wife is that too much to ask? Ready to start finding what I want and need outside our marriage! What do y'all think I should do?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,453 Posts
Recently found out she was a huge **** with her past and I have asked her to perform things with me that she said she had never done and would not do with me but I found pics, and videos that proved tougher wise. I confronted her hand she said she would do better. But as to date (3 months ago nothing has changed). WTF! I need help? Why did she lie I told her I would not and have to judged her I just want to experience with her all possibly sexual fun after all she is my wife is that too much to ask? Ready to start finding what I want and need outside our marriage! What do y'all think I should do?
This is possibly the reason why she was economic with the truth. She'd done things in the past that she didn't enjoy and somehow knew that if she told you she'd done those things with others, you would want her to do them with you...

I'm not excusing your wife being untruthful with you, just offering my take on things, OP.

Other than being open and honest about the number of previous lovers we've had, I'm not a great believer in sharing the nitty gritties of what we did with those lovers...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
724 Posts
Maybe she was embarrassed about her past if she was a bit wilder then she confessed to......
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
107 Posts
Really 9 views and no o e had no suggestions?
I suspect this might be because others have ideas, but they can't think of a way to tactfully approach the subject. I however seem to be quite outspoken so I'll get on with it.

I've had the same thing. In a previous relationship my partner was less 'adventurous' with me than I had reason to believe she'd been with other(s).

We were only together for 2 years, so not exactly marriage material, but here's my story, take from it what you will.

Very early on it became obvious that she had trust issues. I figured she'd just been hurt in the past. Then I started hearing bits and pieces around town. Then one night I was awoken by a swift elbow to the ribs. Nothing unusual, until it happened again, then she kicked me. I figured she was having a bad dream so I tried to wake her. At that point she freaked me out. She sat up bolt upright, eyes wide and full of fire, clenched a fist and aimed a proper good punch straight for my face. Not a girly punch, a proper punch that would have hurt if I hadn't blocked it. I grabbed her in a bear hug and restrained her until she awoke, at which point she curled up into the fetal position and started sobbing. It was a couple of weeks later when her long term best friend sat me down to explain what I was dealing with. It turns out that my partner had not been at all truthful with me about her past. See, my partner had been married before, but her husband had been abusive. He made her do things she didn't want to do, and he would regularly come home drunk and beat the living crap out of her. In addition to what I was told by her best friend, I also heard some other disturbing things when I decided to do a bit of detective work myself (I was well connected back then). One claim was that she had been forced into prostitution for a while.

If only 1% of what I was told was true, then it would more than explain why she had issues and had lied to me about her past.

I'm not suggesting for a second that that's the case with your wife, but before you condemn your wife, maybe consider if she is lying to herself as much as you, trying to block out a past experience.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,794 Posts
How did you find pictures and videos that sow otherwise? Where did you get theses....did she have them?
Posted via Mobile Device
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,948 Posts
She needs to sit down and be honest with you. If she's not able to do so, then that does not bode well for your marriage.

Any kids? If not, dont start yet.

Her past is not what she presented to be. If she's not forthcoming then the amount of trust you vested with her will wane. Then what's left? Sh!t all.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
29 Posts
Discussion Starter · #12 ·
She needs to sit down and be honest with you. If she's not able to do so, then that does not bode well for your marriage.

Any kids? If not, dont start yet.

Her past is not what she presented to be. If she's not forthcoming then the amount of trust you vested with her will wane. Then what's left? Sh!t all.
Yes one, sheis 10 weeks today. Which kills me and pisses me off more. While preg I had asked her to let me take pics and videos (of the adult content) and it never happened. Now I get pissed be Ouse this was our first child and all moments were to be most memorable. But yet I can look at her past pics and vids and see she was not shy about being on camera. I ****ing hate her sexually. I do believe there are souls mates (which I know she is mine) and there are sex mates (apparently she had plenty of those and I am not one of those).
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
29 Posts
Discussion Starter · #13 ·
This thread blends in well with your earlier post: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/sex-marriage/21436-frustrated.html

Did she burn her candle and now "settled" with you? If so, that sucks since she gave herself so freely when young but would not do so for you as a life partner and spouse. If so, that would suck being plan "Z".
Trust me I know this well, that's the hardest part. I am supposed to be her forever but I guess not every thing.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
5,174 Posts
Trust me I know this well, that's the hardest part. I am supposed to be her forever but I guess not every thing.
Did it look like she was enjoying those acts she won't do with you?
Posted via Mobile Device
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,180 Posts
I'm confused and maybe you people would help me out on this. If she's married to W.S.Winstonsarah and she knew she had a ........salty past, why would she be keeping something that could be very damaging to her marriage?

W.S. Is she the only one in the pictures or is she having sex with someone?

You said you wanted to take a vid or picture when she was pregnant. Are you talking about the birth of your baby or some X rated stuff. if it's the X rated stuff maybe she didn't want to because she was pregnant.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,180 Posts
Yes she was [email protected]@king someone! No birth pics, [email protected] pics is what I wanted. She had plenty of cream pie pics of her and he others spooge on her pus and in it!
What did she say when you showed her the proof you had? Was she embarrassed? Did she at least give you an explanation? Did she why she kept them? That's what I don't understand especially if she didn't want you to know about her past.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
10,571 Posts
Did you ask her why she has these pictures?
Did you ask her why she agreed to have those pic and vids taken?
Do you think she looks back with fondness?
Do you think she is denying you these things because you are not worthy or because she didn't like doing them, they made her feel dirty, filthy, used, cheap, degraded, unloved and unlovable?

Have you stopped for a moment and thought beyond you d!ck and though about the regrets she no doubt has? have you considered she wants no part of her past life and doesn't want to relive those memories with anyone very again?

So far your post talks ONLY about what you think and what you feel but mentions ZERO about her thoughts and her feelings.

Stop being a d!ck head and talk to her, ask her what was going on then, what is different now?

Has it occurred to you that she equate those sex acts with being used and degraded and that's why she refuses to bring them into the marriage bed? Just a though..
 
1 - 20 of 119 Posts
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top