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My husband of 3yrs was just served w/ a paternity test on a child that would have been concieved prior to us meeting each other. The problem is that he already has another child from another woman and has let her fill our lives w/ drama & issues non-stop for 3yrs. I CANNOT go through this w/ yet another woman.

I married a man that I thought was a good person. and he is. he just makes extremely poor choices and then ignores them and continues to let them cause trouble in our lives. He just does not "handle" anything. THIS is why I feel I should leave him.

I do not invite drama-type people into my life and I refuse to participate in it. I always have. But his baggage that he does not handle continues to enter my life. For this reason, I feel I cannot stand by his side and go through 15 more years of drama. IF he would handle these things, I would stand by him. but he never has so I feel that shows a pattern that he never will. Am I doing the right thing? Advice please?
 

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I went back and read your previous posts, it seems like he is a drama-type. You have to ask yourself is your life better with him in it? Every relationship has ups & downs, are the ups worth these spectacular downs?

If he is a good man, treats you well, loves and respects you then I think you owe it to him and yourself to put every effort into improving the marriage.

As for the newest drama, take a deep breath and wait for the paternity test to come back. You have said he doesn't like kids, that's sad for his daughter and this possible child. I guess that means he doesn't really want to be involved in their lives beyond paying child support. You realize that you could be responsible for paying it if he can't? That may factor in your decision since he doesn't seems too savvy financially.
 

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I read your other posts and I'm wondering why you are still with him.

At 3 years he's just getting started and he's already ruined you financially. This guy is a train wreck. Seriously...
 

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I didn't read your other posts (I don't think), but I get a feeling from reading this one. It seems like you might just be needing a little nudge out the door and you're seeking it here.

I don't like drama either. I worry enough without added stress. I'd leave him.
 

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I think irresponsible people are often the "fun" types precisely because they don't bear the weight of their obligations. If you're the one bearing them, that "fun" you saw in him can go away quickly.

If you decide to leave, do a pregnancy test on yourself before you go, though! Wowza.
 
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