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I found this website way too late... my divorce has been final for a year now. Sooo wish I had found it a couple of years back. I've benefited so much already from reading different posts here.

Long story short (ha), In January of 2010 I began to suspect that my H of 13 years was having an affair. Over several months, I compiled evidence to prove my suspicions (cell phone bills, credit card statements, etc.) and I kept asking him repeatedly what was going on. I knew that he had been back in touch with his old college girlfriend, who he had reconnected with via Facebook. He kept insisting that they were friends, however, I know of no "friend" who texts your spouse 50 or 60 times a day and is, indeed, just a "friend".

Despite not having any proof, I went and filed for divorce in June of 2010. Kept asking repeatedly for confirmation, as my religious beliefs are such that I felt like knowing that infidelity had occured was giving me the "pass" to divorce. H knew this and kept denying, anyway. They were just good friends! She lives five hours away, in his hometown. He kept making trips there to "see his parents" but I knew better. Our daughter would beg him to take her along and he would tell her no.

I backpedaled for a two month long period that fall, asked him repeatedly to try to work things out. When he allowed me to perform oral sex on him to completion one morning, and then told me that I had "manipulated" him into this happening, I realized that he was way too out there and decided to move ahead with the divorce. I should probably add that my own parents split when I was a kid, and I was trying feverishly to prevent my own child from having to experience the same thing.

The divorce went on for months, as he wouldn't cooperate at all with settling things. He ran up my legal bill to $15k. We were living together in the same house, as he wouldn't move out even though I kept asking him to. The judge finally said she wouldn't grant the divorce unless he moved out, so in January of 2011 he quit his job of seven years with no notice, pulled up a U-Haul to our house one day, and loaded in his possessions, kissed our daughter goodbye and moved back to the hometown, and into his GF's house. In the meantime, she and her husband had divorced, because he caught her in the affair with my H. I later found out that there had been yet another affair going on as well, with an old friend of his from high school. and that her marriage had also broken up when her H figured it out. (In case you're keeping count, that's three marriages broken up now. Plus, he cheated on his first wife before he married me!)

Our divorce was finally granted in August, 2011. Around that time, I was laid off from my job. The divorce was finally granted because the judge reviewed our case and saw that H had been doing all he could to postpone, make things difficult... when he moved away, he didn't contribute a cent to our daughter's support because he got fired from the first job he took within two weeks! The judge ruled that he had two weeks to settle with me, or he would have to pay all my legal expenses. His attorney told mine on the final day in court that if our case was dismissed, he was resigning the case because my STBX was so difficult to deal with.

We've been divorced for a year, and I am glad its over. His contact with our child is sporadic, he skypes with her 1-2 a week and hasn't visited her in person in three months. My life for the past year has been consumed with unemployment, trying in vain to find a decent job in this rotten economy, trying to figure out a way to keep our marital home in order to maintain some continuity for our daughter's sake (I'm in the process of short saling it now because I just can't keep it any longer, I've drained my savings), dealing with our daughter's stress at having her father be so non-existent in her life (she has autism, which makes a lot of this even harder), various financial difficulites, and having my first rebound relationship blow up in spectactular fashion (that's more drama that I won't get into here.) He does pay his child support, I have to give him that. He is living with the girlfriend, living a life of leisure with few responsibilties, taking trips and there seems to be a million other things that take priority in his life before our daughter. The cheating and lying hurt terribly, but I'm an adult and I know I'm better off without him. Having to watch our child hurt on a daily basis is a different story. Watching your child hurt is worse than being hurt yourself.

I was listening to her skype with him earlier this evening, and he was telling her that he was getting ready to leave to go take dance lessons. Isn't that great... he's going to take part in some community dance competition with his GF! I've done all the reading about the success of relationships that begin as affairs during marriage. And before you ask, yes, this was and very definitely continues to be a mid-life crisis. Someone posted a link on here the other day to "Midlife Crisis for Dummies" and I about spit my coffee out reading it. Fit him to an absolute tee.

I don't wish him harm, but it doesn't seem right that he gets to be happy, living his little life up there in his hometown, when he's left a very sad little girl behind, and a mother who's heart beaks on a daily basis watching this. The stress I've dealt with as a result of our divorce and losing my job has just about put me over the edge. Things are hard, harder than ever. I can't help but shake my head at the unfairness of it all at times. I can't date much, as my daughter isn't able to stay at home alone and I have limited babysitting, and her father is never around to care for her himself.

Do any of you have karma stories to share? I just need to hear them right now! I know in my heart I will be better off in the long run, and I hope to someday find the man who can be a father figure in my daughter's life. But, right now, every day is a challenge and I'm feeling defeated.

Thanks for listening... or reading!
 

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I wish I had one for you!!! The OMW is a serial cheater....1/2 their marriage and the OBS stays. I still cannot wrap my head around that one. Don't be to hard on yourself. I have a hard time in reconciliation with my FWH. Every time his phone beeps I jump.

Just think of all the trust issues they have. And with both of their track records, one of them is bound to cheat on the other.
 

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Divorced 2 yrs ago waw thought other side was greener well waw found out other man was cheating on her oh well. 14 yr old d knew what happened not happy w/her tells waw about my hot 27 yr old gf:)Now waw is all nicey nicey with me eh too little too late hun.
 

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ok media, i got a karma story for you..my ex cheated with a family member, left me for the family member,and they got married,few years later her new husband needed surgery, whoops---he died on operating table...justice served...
And did she try to wheedle her way back at all?
 

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Divorced 2 yrs ago waw thought other side was greener well waw found out other man was cheating on her oh well. 14 yr old d knew what happened not happy w/her tells waw about my hot 27 yr old gf:)Now waw is all nicey nicey with me eh too little too late hun.
Although you are obviously over your divorce it might be worth posting your story and what you did to act as a guide for others in your situation.
 

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nope she never did try to come back, but i did have to send a card when i read about the death in the paper,basically told her paybacks a *****.
 

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I don't know how you classify my case. But almost couple of months before D-Day, my WS wife was contemplating divorce and wants to marry OM. I was in panic mode as I was not prepared for that but I was kind of stable as she already emotionally detached me.

And after D-day and after couple of months she wants to reconcile and I'm going ahead with D.

Instant Karma..i think so...
 

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Media girl,

I think you have a problem in choosing mates. For future reference, look into the history of the men you date. You stated your husband cheated on his wife before you. Did you not know this before you married him? Are you afraid of being alone? Your rebound just blew up in your face, why do you not wait a while and invest time to find a better man.

A mid life crisis has nothing to do with the way he acts. Most cheaters of all ages act in the same way and follow a script that is so similar in every case as well as most BS also follow their own script that is also similar. This re kindling of old flames should be completely avoided and the idea should not be even entertained.

Quote:
Originally Posted by F-102
It may have gone something like this:

They first start catching up, and it's all "How you been doing? What have you been up to?"

Then it would have morphed into talk about:

What they've been doing since they parted
Their significant others since they parted
Their families
Their favorite music, movies, etc.
Their spouses
You
Your job
How your job keeps you away
How lonely she gets when you're away
How she looks forward to their conversations all the time now
How she loves talking to him
How she gets "bored" talking to you
How you don't always listen
How you're not "perfect"
How you can be so insensitive sometimes
How she wonders if she would have stayed with him
How he understands her
How he knows how to make her feel good
How you fail at this
How you are such an a**hole
How she feels young again
How she hasn't felt this happy with you in so long
How he's a better man than you'll ever be
How she wants to see him again
How they can meet under the radar
How she's thought of leaving you
How she ever could have fallen for a jerk like you
How he's her soul mate
How she made a big mistake leaving him
How she made an even bigger mistake marrying you
How they were meant to be together...

...get the picture?
 

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When I found the ultimate evidence of my wife cheating on me (found her having sex with the OM) back in April, she was smart enough to get a CPO on me, preventing me to live in my own house. A week after, the OM (freshly divorced) moved in while I was still paying for the house and utilities (all in my name only), and living in hotels and rented basements.
He just got a decent paid job (before we was unemployed for years, living of his wife) which allowed him to spend lots of money on her while living for free in my house.

My attorney got my STBXW kicked out of the house 7 weeks ago, mainly because we could proof that the OM was staying there too (besides her 3 children of a previous marriage, ages 13 (daugther!) and 16 and 19). They rented a Condo and he was paying for it, including the utilities, because her income is not high enough to pay for it.

3 weeks ago, he lost his job. It is very likely, that they cannot pay the rent anymore and will be thrown out on the street.
First "karma step".

Last week, we had our divorce pre-trial. She came up with a redicolous settlement offer, which I countered with a low ball offer. She did not even show for the hearing. The magistrate told her attorney that my STBXW better takes my offer, because if he has to decide, it would be even less.
Second "karma step"

... to be continued ...
 

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I think this thread should be regularly 'bumped' to act as a repository for karma stories.
 

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Media, where do you live? In the US you can get respite care through the state if you have a special needs child. My heart goes out to you. I don't have a dramatic karma story but my ex was abusive and crazy, long story but he agreed to be the one to leave and stayed with our two best friends.
We started the divorce and he refused to save our house and let us get foreclosed on.
I had to move two hours away to live with my mom. I was a wreck, I had to give up pets and most of my belongings, my d's life was turned upside down.
The friend's he was staying with stood up with us at our wedding. Well within months the guy left the woman for a younger woman. I found out that my stbx a
D friend were sleeping together.
In the meantime he tried to get me for contempt of court for moving, made every part of the divorce a living hell, told me I would live with my mom for the rest of my life and never find a job. he let our car get repossessed because he refused to pay child support out of the blue.
He would tell me I needed mental help and I was crazy all the time. I tried to talk to them about PDA's in front if my d a d they both reacted hostilely and insisted nothing was going on. Just special friends living in the same house doing everything together and vacationing together.

Well now I've had the same job for three years, I make good bonuses, have good performance reviews, have my name on two cars, bought a house in my name only, live in a great school district.
I'm married to a wonderful man.

He is still with her, lives in her house, drives her car, looks like crap, is getting 50% of his pay garnished for support and a tax lien and student loans. He files his taxes and someone always takes the refund. His credit is crap, his gf can't get a license so he has to drive her everywhere, and my daughter doesn't like the gf.
We have gone to Canada and Mexico and he went to chicago. His car is old and falling apart. Everytime we drop off and they drive away my new h tells me exactly what is wrong with their car and that he could fix it.
I am doing better than I ever have. But st one point I felt like he won because he had her and lived in a house and I was alone living with my mom taking care of my d on my own.
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Bump!
 

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Karma stories are like a good joke. You hear them often but rarely remember them.

Thing is in life many people should be run over with the karma train and then the HMS Queen Mary. Though many of these people never have the karma bus even go down their street. Let run over them.

So best not to wait to see the karma bus get them.

Better to leave them in the past and enjoy your present life.
 

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I saw my ex wife a few weeks back. I'd post her picture but I'd be responsible for ruining everyone's holiday season. She is a walking reminder that the karma bus has no mercy.
 

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Just small stops by the karma bus at the ex wifes place.

Lets see:

OM had to have his gall bladder removed. While in the hospital a stomach ulcer ruptured and kept him in the hospital for weeks. Now he looks like her grandfather.

She and OM went to the beach for a mini vacation. Lost her car keys in the ocean. Took 6 hours and several hundred dollars to get underway again.

Phone installer ruptured a waterline in her new home causing a lot of distress for her.

Home she recently purchased needs more work than the home inspector thought. She doesn't have the money for it.

Things keep going wrong with her car that she can't afford to get repaired ( I used to do all her car maintenance).

This past weekend she had her purse stolen with the only spare car key she had. $195 to get it replaced which she doesn't have. She now only has the valet key.

She's been sick off and on for the past month. Has crappy insurance and can't afford to go the doctor.

Kids both told her that they want to be at my house Christmas eve and Christmas morning. To add to this, her step mother decided not to have her family over for xmas. Exwife gets to spend xmas morning with OM's family. Hehe.

When we separated 16 months ago, she left with a zero balance on her credit card (my doing). A few months ago while dropping off my daughter I glanced down next to her computer and saw her credit card statement............already up to almost $6K.

When moving out, my ex had a dollar figure in mind that would cost her for the movers. She never thought about how much crap she had to move and she took no time packing it up. Took the movers several more hours than she had planned and therefore took a lot more money than she had budgeted.

Wish I could remember all the other things. Seems that the kids tell me something new on a weekly basis.
 
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