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Discussion Starter #1
Short story. Thot we were ok until young guys came around. I was busy= less attention from me. She had an affair. She admitted and we tried for a week. Had sex first day. None since.

Been 2.5 weeks? I think.

She says I'm smothering her with affection and she needs time apart.

Is there any success stories of getting back together after this "time apart?" And whats the ratio of this meaning someone else... again?

The OM she admitted to sleeping with twice, is gone. It's over. But after trying for a week, she decided she needed time. Since then Divorce has been brought up and she asked, then she's back to asking for time / space. What should I think / do?
 

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I need time space = I need to time to see other men while you move out.

OM moving away is irrelevant. There can easily be other OMs or she wants to go hounding out for some.

DO NOT give her space. Tell her if she wants space so badly she needs to go lease an apartment with her own money, while you on the other hand are actually trying to save the marriage.

secondly, go 180. The worse thing to do after someone has an affair is to give them boundless affection. You may think it helps, IT DOESN'T. It pushes them away and makes them have less respect for a man who would be walked all over so readily.

It sounds like you rugswept the affair. She needs to own up to it, and she should be the one begging and pleading to you with affection, not the other way around. If you keep this up she won't realize the gravity of what she did, and another affair will happen.
 

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From my experience and many stories on here it's just an excuse! It's probably not over between them. She needs more time with
the OM and keep you away from her business. My advice is to snoop around at this time. Install a keylogger, var in her car, use a pi if you can.
And most but not least you need to expose the **** out of her affair. It's the biggest help you'll get- exposing her affair will kill any fantasy and secrecy they have left.
Honestly your already dealing with shame and embarrassment as is, so the extra exposure will not hurt too much more. She'll hate you for that but it will kill her affair and
Help get rid of the fog!
Sorry you are here but stay strong!
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Discussion Starter #5
So when a woman asks for time / space we shouldn't give it? Let them leave? See, when I left for 2 days, I came back and plan was to have her go to her brother's place. When i came back and told her she needed to go ahead and go, she said "No, my name is on this lease and I need to protect it."

When this came up, she just said "I don't care if you go to the room or your mother's, Jeremy's or where ever, You're just smothering me"
 

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When this came up, she just said "I don't care if you go to the room or your mother's, Jeremy's or where ever, You're just smothering me"
Kick.Her.Out. She cant get all the time&space she likes. The nerve. Pack her stuff and send her to ILs with your better wishes.

Then start implementing the 180.
The 180 degree rules
No More Mr Nice Guy

Friend, did you already talk to a lawyer?
 

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So when a woman asks for time / space we shouldn't give it? Let them leave? See, when I left for 2 days, I came back and plan was to have her go to her brother's place. When i came back and told her she needed to go ahead and go, she said "No, my name is on this lease and I need to protect it."

When this came up, she just said "I don't care if you go to the room or your mother's, Jeremy's or where ever, You're just smothering me"
See she doesn't 'want' space. If thats what she truly wanted she'd just up and leave. What she REALLY wants you out of the house. Then she can more easily conduct her affair/adulterous actions.

So she has no problem with you leaving, but when its about her its not an option?

Kick her out. Put her sh!t on the lawn and tell her to come back when she knocks off that bad attitude, cause she clearly doesn't respect you right now. And without respect, you can't have much of anything in a relationship except for things like abuse.

Women aren't attracted to weakness in the first place.

You actually have her talking down to you after SHE had an affair?

You need to look between your legs, locate your balls, and make use of them.
 

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It's not done and it's not over don't BELIVE her bs. She wants to cake eat. Your her back up plan now. If all fails with the om she can always come back to her
loving husband. Don't let yourself be number 2. Exposé her affair ASAP. Start to snoop and gather evidence. Hit her hard with all the information you've gathered. Implement the 180 as someone gave you a link already. Don't leave the house- she cheated let her leave. Stay head strong your battling your wife's addiction right now.
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So when a woman asks for time / space we shouldn't give it? Let them leave? See, when I left for 2 days, I came back and plan was to have her go to her brother's place. When i came back and told her she needed to go ahead and go, she said "No, my name is on this lease and I need to protect it."

When this came up, she just said "I don't care if you go to the room or your mother's, Jeremy's or where ever, You're just smothering me"
A woman says that when she wants to try out another man and she if he can replace you. Almost 100% of the time. File D. You have to take away you as plan B. You took her back way too easy so this is a no loose situation for her. You will always take her back so why not try.

Do the 180 and take care of yourself. Start to move on. Deal from strenght not weakenss.
 

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Discussion Starter #16
Well lets just assume she ISN'T doing anything with anyone else.

IS IT POSSIBLE that she's just trying to see if she'll miss me?

I've been checking up on her, and she's really been not doing much. Staying at home, doing her cakes and MAYBE going to see her friend scarlett at McDonalds (her work). With the exception of them drinking last night.

What then?
 

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Well lets just assume she ISN'T doing anything with anyone else.

IS IT POSSIBLE that she's just trying to see if she'll miss me?

I've been checking up on her, and she's really been not doing much. Staying at home, doing her cakes and MAYBE going to see her friend scarlett at McDonalds (her work). With the exception of them drinking last night.

What then?
No its not. That excuse is crap. Plus if that was true, once again, SHE COULD LEAVE.

I can tell from your post you desperately want to believe this, but its not. If she really wanted space she'd ask for a separation. She just wants you out of the house.

Also you don't know how affairs work. Continuing an affair is piteously easy. Do you think she needs some 3-6 hour span of free time to continue an affair? Staying at home means nothing, she can still message OMs from a hidden email account. Out with her friends? 3 minute quickie/blowjob with OM in a parking lot or can drive over to a hotel and be out within half an hour before or after she meets up with her friend.

She cheated on you and you actually allowed her to go out drinking with her friend? To have a girls night out unsupervised by yourself?

:slap: Jesus christ, you really need to man up.

This passiveness and beta male attitude is only making her lose respect and any attraction for you, fast.

She is being callous and not showing respect for you or the marriage.

You need to stop being so afraid of her and stand up for yourself.
 

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She doesn't want to hurt your feelings so the "i need space/time" is just a buffer from one side to the other (breakup).
 
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