My husband and I have been married for 8 years. During this time he has made it a point to make sure that I don't hang around anyone. I am stay at home mom and have little ones. It's very isolating and lonely.He kept telling me that all we need is each other. That we don't need friends. If other women came around he would make it his priority to steer them away from me. I wanted to be more social but it was hard because he always found a way to block it or he would give me a "we don't need them" speech.He wouldn't let them get to know me or me know them. What's odd about all of this is that he has not made his life isolating as he has made mine. He knows EVERYBODY. Everywhere we move he meets everyone in the neighborhood and becomes good friends with them. He will spend 7am to 6pm outside with them all day everyday of the week. He works from home so it allows him lots of leisure. I will spend my time in the house of course waiting on him to come inside. What I'm trying to figure out is why he wanted my life to be like this and for his life not to be like this.When I get upset he says "why don't you just come outside with me". Yet when I do go out there he always acts like I'm interrupting something. So I don't go.
Awhile ago his brother lived with us and he made him move after he got a gf. His brother had been living with us for about 4 years and he would have never made him move before yet now all of a sudden he needed to move.I actually liked the woman. I figured since we all lived in the same home she and I could be good friends. My dh started so much drama that I don't know where it began and we all just fell out with each other. He told me that this woman was saying all kinds of mean things about us and that he didn't want her around. I never heard any of these things but he was adamant that it was true. I talked to her about it the day we had a big blow up and she said it wasn't true. Now that I think about all of this. I swear he started all of this just so I wouldn't befriend her.
This morning we had an argument. I called him on his crap because I have wanted to go out and have asked him and he would say we don't need to go anywhere. Yesterday, he planned a early morning fishing trip with these men who he hangs out with. I found out this morning when they pulled up in my yard at 5am. I was pissed. It was not until he realized that I was on to him that he decided he wanted to take all of us, but I don't want to go. I don't want my husband to be my only source of social outlet. Yet he has made it so hard for me to get to know people. He will say things to them like "my wife doesn't hang out", but I want to. I want to be around people. I don't want to spend my life in a bubble with no one to talk to but my husband everyday. It isn't me it's him and I think people realize it, but they don't say anything. He acts like he does not realize he does this and when I mention it to him he will say "those guys I hang out with are not my friends". Oh really, so why the hell do you dedicate your entire day to these people? And why did you tell me that I don't need to be around these people that live here in our town and you do the exact opposite?I don't get his motive behind this, but I'm starting not to trust him at all. I don't trust what he says or does and I feel like he is totally manipulating me. I don't know what to make of it because he is not physically abusive and I don't know if I should call this emotional abuse. Whatever the case, it doesn't feel right anymore. Back when I was younger I bought this crap he had been telling me, now I don't and I'm very resentful.
Awhile ago his brother lived with us and he made him move after he got a gf. His brother had been living with us for about 4 years and he would have never made him move before yet now all of a sudden he needed to move.I actually liked the woman. I figured since we all lived in the same home she and I could be good friends. My dh started so much drama that I don't know where it began and we all just fell out with each other. He told me that this woman was saying all kinds of mean things about us and that he didn't want her around. I never heard any of these things but he was adamant that it was true. I talked to her about it the day we had a big blow up and she said it wasn't true. Now that I think about all of this. I swear he started all of this just so I wouldn't befriend her.
This morning we had an argument. I called him on his crap because I have wanted to go out and have asked him and he would say we don't need to go anywhere. Yesterday, he planned a early morning fishing trip with these men who he hangs out with. I found out this morning when they pulled up in my yard at 5am. I was pissed. It was not until he realized that I was on to him that he decided he wanted to take all of us, but I don't want to go. I don't want my husband to be my only source of social outlet. Yet he has made it so hard for me to get to know people. He will say things to them like "my wife doesn't hang out", but I want to. I want to be around people. I don't want to spend my life in a bubble with no one to talk to but my husband everyday. It isn't me it's him and I think people realize it, but they don't say anything. He acts like he does not realize he does this and when I mention it to him he will say "those guys I hang out with are not my friends". Oh really, so why the hell do you dedicate your entire day to these people? And why did you tell me that I don't need to be around these people that live here in our town and you do the exact opposite?I don't get his motive behind this, but I'm starting not to trust him at all. I don't trust what he says or does and I feel like he is totally manipulating me. I don't know what to make of it because he is not physically abusive and I don't know if I should call this emotional abuse. Whatever the case, it doesn't feel right anymore. Back when I was younger I bought this crap he had been telling me, now I don't and I'm very resentful.