Ok, that was slightly in jest... But the need is real and serious.
My time at TAM is almost over. The wife arrives home Wednesday and let's just say that by then I have to erase all chance that she'll ever see me here, see this place in my history, unsubscribe from the threads, remove all the email evidence, etc, etc.
If she caught wind that I was talking to people about my relationship with her and talking about her, my city would vaporize due to the thermonuclear explosion which would happen.
Over my time here I've become acutely aware that my decoding skills- that is, my ability to comprehend the meaning behind what she tries to tell me - are seriously not good.
Sitting and watching videos that take hours and hours is not an option. I absorb information ever so much faster than that, and don't have the free time - especially alone. So, whether it's a book or whatever, I really do need to find a source of learning how to understand what she means by what she says. No, i don't mean she isn't meaning what she says, but I do get that her complaints are almost never literal... and I am extremely literal, both in how I talk and how I absorb things.
I'm good at figuring stuff out, but I need some kind of roadmap to figure out how to get there.
We've had discussions about how she talks to me, but they have no impact, so I'm quite sure I'm not getting it across. It's kind of like this. So, one day when I'm in THAT mood, I walk up and fondle her backside. She gets mad and says something to the effect of "when I'm not in the mood for that, that just annoys me, I decide when I'm in the mood, not you, so just knock it off!".
Meaning to me: You have to wait until she initiates sexual contact, or at least until she overtly invites it. Which NEVER happens. Or at least not until such time as I'm long past frustrated to the point I am PO'd to my core, and then she gets in bed with me, naked and lays there staring at the ceiling with daggers in her eyes and just oozing PO'd.
This does not exactly inspire the thought I'm supposed to initiate sex. So, 10 minutes later, after some really hurtful snide remarks about how nobody cares about her and she might as well just be some ugly old witch, I finally gather that I was supposed to suddenly be enthusiastically jumping her bones.
ok, so I was told to never initiate sex. And then I was screamed at for not.
Obviously I missed something here. A lot of something. A few months worth of something. This didn't turn from "don't touch any intimate parts of me" to "get it up and get me off, I want it now!" without there having been some kind of clues that I missed. Or, I've interpreted everything totally wrong. I'd buy any / all of it at the moment.
So, I need the secret magic decoder ring. Yes, there are things out there, I found some links to some great stuff... but I am a techie. I need the quick reference book until the stuff's memorized. And yes, that's tongue in cheek, but I'm hoping someone gets it.
Is there such a thing? Perhaps titled "decoding women's thoughts for dummies" or something? I can have and read books, but telling someone else what she's done or we've done or "revealing" intimate things... Yup, totally verbotten. I'm only supposed to ask her, talk only to her, confide ONLY in her, any and everything else is about equal in status to me jumping in bed with some hot chick from the down street in the "betrayal" department. I cannot begin to tell you how ferocious her anger would be (and was) when she found I asked others for and shared experiences.
Yeah, I've had this experience before. So... Yeah, this has taken some nerve to be here and I have risked absolutely guaranteeing a divorce and her undying hatred and vengeance for the rest of my life. But, no risk, no opportunity.
Any help appreciated.
My time at TAM is almost over. The wife arrives home Wednesday and let's just say that by then I have to erase all chance that she'll ever see me here, see this place in my history, unsubscribe from the threads, remove all the email evidence, etc, etc.
If she caught wind that I was talking to people about my relationship with her and talking about her, my city would vaporize due to the thermonuclear explosion which would happen.
Over my time here I've become acutely aware that my decoding skills- that is, my ability to comprehend the meaning behind what she tries to tell me - are seriously not good.
Sitting and watching videos that take hours and hours is not an option. I absorb information ever so much faster than that, and don't have the free time - especially alone. So, whether it's a book or whatever, I really do need to find a source of learning how to understand what she means by what she says. No, i don't mean she isn't meaning what she says, but I do get that her complaints are almost never literal... and I am extremely literal, both in how I talk and how I absorb things.
I'm good at figuring stuff out, but I need some kind of roadmap to figure out how to get there.
We've had discussions about how she talks to me, but they have no impact, so I'm quite sure I'm not getting it across. It's kind of like this. So, one day when I'm in THAT mood, I walk up and fondle her backside. She gets mad and says something to the effect of "when I'm not in the mood for that, that just annoys me, I decide when I'm in the mood, not you, so just knock it off!".
Meaning to me: You have to wait until she initiates sexual contact, or at least until she overtly invites it. Which NEVER happens. Or at least not until such time as I'm long past frustrated to the point I am PO'd to my core, and then she gets in bed with me, naked and lays there staring at the ceiling with daggers in her eyes and just oozing PO'd.
This does not exactly inspire the thought I'm supposed to initiate sex. So, 10 minutes later, after some really hurtful snide remarks about how nobody cares about her and she might as well just be some ugly old witch, I finally gather that I was supposed to suddenly be enthusiastically jumping her bones.
ok, so I was told to never initiate sex. And then I was screamed at for not.
Obviously I missed something here. A lot of something. A few months worth of something. This didn't turn from "don't touch any intimate parts of me" to "get it up and get me off, I want it now!" without there having been some kind of clues that I missed. Or, I've interpreted everything totally wrong. I'd buy any / all of it at the moment.
So, I need the secret magic decoder ring. Yes, there are things out there, I found some links to some great stuff... but I am a techie. I need the quick reference book until the stuff's memorized. And yes, that's tongue in cheek, but I'm hoping someone gets it.
Is there such a thing? Perhaps titled "decoding women's thoughts for dummies" or something? I can have and read books, but telling someone else what she's done or we've done or "revealing" intimate things... Yup, totally verbotten. I'm only supposed to ask her, talk only to her, confide ONLY in her, any and everything else is about equal in status to me jumping in bed with some hot chick from the down street in the "betrayal" department. I cannot begin to tell you how ferocious her anger would be (and was) when she found I asked others for and shared experiences.
Yeah, I've had this experience before. So... Yeah, this has taken some nerve to be here and I have risked absolutely guaranteeing a divorce and her undying hatred and vengeance for the rest of my life. But, no risk, no opportunity.
Any help appreciated.