I am at the end of my rope and have no intentions of tying a knot and trying to hang on. I just want to kick myself for not staying gone when I left the first time. How much more do I need to take?? I am close to losing everything but I really don't care. I just want to be over and done once and for all. There is no winning here. To tell you the truth, the only way I could get some relief is if someone would put a bullet right through my heart.