Talk About Marriage banner

Status
Not open for further replies.
1 - 4 of 4 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Saturday morning, I finally received a phone call from my husband, after he had been out with his friends from work the night before. I never had any suspicions he was doing anything wrong. I knew if he was drinking he'd stay at his friend's house. The problem was that I never heard from him that night. He'd usually text me or call me before going to sleep to tell me he loved me and to say goodnight. I called and text him continuously the next morning because I was getting worried. He finally calls me Saturday morning and said he told me not to worry because I knew where he'd be. He was acting very withdrawn and unemotional. He just said we'd talk when I got home. I knew when I heard those words what he was going to say. Instead of waiting until I got home, I insisted he tell me now. He said it is over between us and he's done. He wants to be free and not have anyone to answer to or tend to. He says he's been dealing with this for a long time and decided to just come to a decision. I begged and pleaded with him to give it some time. He insisted that's not going to work because it has never worked before. He has his mind made up. Not even a separation process. The crazy thing is that just 2 weeks ago on my birthday he sent me a beautiful flower arrangement saying "you are the most amazing woman I have ever known." I found out recently as well that he has been texting/talking on the phone with a girl from work. He says they're just friends and nothing more. He says she's just easy to talk to because she has been down that road. He says he can't talk to me about anything because I am constantly asking questions or making accusations. He says that I always think he's up to no good and always thinking the worst and he can't live that way anymore. He says this is the best for both of us but I love him and I'm so in love with him. We have been closer these past couple of years than have ever been. I have been the most perfect wife you could possible ask for. Other than the insecurities I have, I am right by his side through everything.

The beginning of 2011, he started an emotional affair with a very young girl that was a family friend. This was done primarily through texting. He believed he was helping her but it just got out of control. He continued this relationship until November of 2011. At that point, he committed himself in the hospital for psychiatric help. A week later he was out, we went home and he never left the house for about 6 months. Things were great but I was always worried that he was thinking about her or something. He kept telling me the things he was dealing with like him trying to forgive himself for what he has done to us. That was always on my mind. In May of 2012, he decided we needed to separate because after him proving to me how much he wanted this marriage, I still had doubts. Although we were separated, we still saw each other every day and very much sexually active. He started his new job August 1. He started staying back at the house around the beginning of September continuously. Now this...I'm just so confused because he always showed me he loved me. The things he said, the things he text, the look in his eyes, the way he touched me. A week after receiving the flowers with the wonderful message on it, I noticed he got a text that said "I love you babe", he told me it was just a friend at work, and they communicate on a regular basis and that's just her personality. I had a hard time believing it because when I wanted to read it, he said no and deleted it. He says he responded in that way because he was just woke up from a dead sleep and didn't really know what was going on. Well this happens to be the same girl that I find out he has been texting. I'm having a hard time believing she's just a friend but what he's telling me is so believable. He did go out with her and her roommates Saturday night and he did stay at her house, on the couch, so he says. It's just he's acting so much out of character, it's hard for me to believe anything. He's just fed up, it's the best thing for both of us so I don't have to worry about him anymore and he won't have to feel like he's walking on egg shells anymore. Please help! I need to know there's hope for us. I think he may be going through a mid life crisis. Last year he bought a brand new, off the lot Camaro. He has made so many irrational decisions in the past 2 years. He has always been my best friend now he's acting like a complete stranger. If he's cheating then why would he do this to me after everything we've been through the past year.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,945 Posts
How long have you been married? Do you have children?

I'm so sorry - he is having an affair. Please go & read some threads on the CWI forum & maybe ask the mods to move your thread over there for good advice on how to proceed.

I understand it's hard to wrap your head around because he acts nice & loving to you sometimes. The OW may be jerking him around & those are the times he is nice to you. He is lying to you which all cheaters do.

Good luck; nobody deserves to be cheated on.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
26 Posts
I agree go and read some threads on the CWI forum and seek advice from others that have been through this.

Emerald has a good point that those times he is acting nice and loving could be when the OW is jerking him around.

This sounds like one of those times a guy is thinking the grass is greenier.

He says you are always thinking he is up to no good.....well looks like that turned out to be true.

I know that if I was out with my buddies and I had had too much to drink, I would not be staying there overnight. I would call my wife who would be more than happy to come and pick me up.
 
1 - 4 of 4 Posts
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top