[memorialday]

Hello, I have been married for 7 years. My husband has cheated on me once that I know of and I have cheated once. I thought that we had firgiven each other and moved on until recently. I looked on my H phone because he was acting strange. I found 5 differnet women that he was texting. It sounded more like alot of Hey baby Im thinking about you, and stuff about me. When I asked him about it he immeditely deleted evrything and then denied it for two days. I got all the phone numbers before he deleted them and I actually called one of the women and he got so mad he took the phone out of my hand and hung up. He threatened me by saying it will really be over if I call her again. Since then he said he was wrong and he wouldnt do it again, but I had to change too. I have been addicted to hydrocodonr for two yrs and have been trying to get off them for a while. He says a lie is a lie. That I have violated his trust as well. That I dont make him feel person, and I dont listen to him. That when he talks to different women they listen and make him feel like he is someone. He says he is willing to stay in the marriage if we both change. It sounds like to me he is blaming me for his emotional affair. He says he never slept witha any of the women and its not about the sex. He says he loves me and he just wants to move on and he is tired of me bringing up this EA and tired of me snooping.

 

[underwater2010]

Your options are MC and/or divorce. I have never understood the point of both partners having an EA/PA. I hope you are trying to kick your oxicotin habit. I am sure it is hard to do. He also needs to own up to what he has been doing.

 

[Chris Taylor]

If you're addicted and he's a serial cheater, I'm going to guess you both need professional help.

Cheating isn't justified but there are always two sides to the problem and if your addiction is feeding the disruption of the marriage then it serves you both well to address that and his fidelity issues.

 

[memorialday]

I agree with the both of you, I know I need professional help. I had a 4 year problem with alcohol and I had a one night stand with someone I didnt even know when I was drunk. I do not drink anymore and my doctor put me on hydrocodone for migraines and it escelated from there. Obviously I have an addiction problem, the withdrawls are so bad. I am tapering myself off and should be completely off of the hydros in a week. I do love my husband very much, I just feel like he dosent want to change. He does not want to go to marriage counseling. I think maybe I should just work on myself and worry about taking care of my child instead of stressing over what he might do, and looking over my shoulder to see if he does this again.

 

[underwater2010]

I agree. Get clean and focus on your child. If he is unwilling to change then you have lost nothing. But gained a bright and beautiful life with your kid(s).